Internal Gong Fu

From Method to Feeling: Journal Notes #76

2012-01-30T10:13:00.004-05:00

Notes from my March 2010 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: I'm frustrated. I can feel different parts of my body but I can't feel how they are connected. How do I feel the parts connected?

Answer: Your questions may conceal the answer... but maybe not the answer you're expecting. Notice the tonality in your question. The "emotional place" you are asking from may be preventing you from noticing the answer. Notice the tonality behind your question and how it frames the question. Don't accept the frame of the question. Maybe you can change a word or two in the question and change the pacing of the question. Your questions, Mike, are usually based on mechanical and compartmentalized thinking. Changing a word, for example, from "parts" to "connections" will reframe the question positing a functional answer.

* Question: What's the difference between tension, pressure, peng? Aren't these different words for the same feeling?

Answer: Tension = contraction.
Peng = pressure = expansion = eccentric movement with intention.

("Peng, and synonyms for "peng" can be understood differently depending on your level as well as misunderstood and hence, not practiced correctly if more fundamental structural tensions are not first resolved.

* Question: So what's the feeling of peng?

Answer: At an advanced level, the peng feeling feels empty but saying this to a beginner does not help guide the beginner to developing peng. Beginners must begin by developing feeling and a good place to start is developing a feel for proper zhan zhuang structure and later developing the feel of fascial stretch.

* Some students strive to repeat their teacher's path thinking this will take them to the level their teacher achieved. Their mistake in doing this is that they don't discover their own path and learning. Everyone has a different path. What is written in books and taught by teachers should be considered to be guide posts and road signs which cannot be exactly duplicated.

(I learned this lesson again at a recent Wujifa class. Basically, when I receiving an incoming force, a push and I unconsciously lock my shoulder in response thus blocking the force from going through, there is no way on earth any book or video would be able to identify this for me.

For example, a guide post or road sign is being able to relax and maintain structure under force. When it comes to my learning, I have to figure out how to resolve my bad habits and develop more functional habits.)

* There is a story about WWII pilots who survived after being shot down in the South Pacific islands. The local islanders would see the pilots talk into their radios and then split a coconut and hold coconut halves to their ears while speaking into a banana. In the same way, many people mimic the external appearances of the "internal arts" without understanding the internal technology.

* Question (after a zhan zhuang class): Why did you want me break my stance to wiggle around?

Answer: Wiggling is a medicine for you. You tend to be very methodical. You put everything in place and then you lock yourself into a particular posture. This approach is useful for beginners but you're not a beginner anymore. Wiggling is useful for you at this next level. Get yourself into place then wiggle and allow the posture to fall into place. Look for the feeling of what happened after wiggling, for example, you may notice, "Oh, that is less tight." or "Oh, this is looser." Those are functional, feeling-based roadsigns for you.

* Question: How do I get to that place (like Mr. D.) who feels his practice? I've been focusing recently on feeling the parts I can feel, like individual pieces. Recall the story of the pear. I am trying to construct a pear when what I want to do is taste the pear.

(The pear story goes like this... How would you describe a pear to someone who has never seen, felt, tasted, or smelled a pear before? If that person summed the pieces of your description, would s/he create the pear you described?)

Instructor: How do you describe a pear? Saying it is apple-like + sweeter + grainy does not equal a pear. You cannot add up individual descriptions and get a pear.

Eat rice. What is the flavor of rice after 5 chews? After 20 chews? After 60 chews? After chewing 3 minutes? After chewing 5 minutes? The more you chew rice, the more subtle are changes in flavor.

So in your practice ask yourself: What does connection feel like to you? The more you "chew on" the feeling, the more the feeling changes "flavor".

* Question to me: What is your feeling about stance practice?

My answer: Incredibly boring. Not enjoyable at all. In fact, I'm envious of those who say they enjoy zhan zhuang and look forward to zhan zhuang practice and find some pleasure in the feeling of their practice. I'm obviously still missing something. I'd like to get to the point where I can feel and stance practice becomes enjoyable.

(Interesting I would write this because I have had some truly amazing feeling experiences of connectedness and presence while practicing zhan zhuang. The question is, why do I stop? Why, when I have these breakthrough experiences and I see the path clearly before me, why do I say, "That's amazing!" and then look for something else, some other problem to resolve, etc.. ? Why do I choose what I do?)

* For me, transitioning from a method-based practice to a feeling-based practice is like going through a tunnel. It can be really boring and it can be intensely emotional.

* Question to me: What do you find interesting or intriguing about zhan zhuang stance practice?

My answer: The possibility of a fulfillment of a long-ago fantasy to have a kind of kung-fu strength without being muscularly bulky.

(What really keeps me going these days is seeing amazing advancement in my school brothers. Seeing where they were even a few months or weeks ago and where they are now really inspires me to rededicate my effort in a new way.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Sitting Back and Down: Journal Notes #75
Next article in this series: - Check back next Monday after 10 a.m. U.S. EST.

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Sitting Back and Down: Journal Notes #75

2012-01-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

Notes from my February 2010 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: How do I find balance between Balance and Relax (on the first Wujifa triangle)?

Answer: Look to structure.

* The actions of each of the three points on the first Wujifa triangle:

Relax - the allowing of 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4
Balance - the noticing of 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4
Structure - the rules of 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4

* Question: How can I develop my intention?

Answer: Questions help to refine intention and purpose.

* Question: How can I self-validate internal strength development?

Answer: Use feeling.
Me: How?
Instructor: Look at Balance, Structure, Relax. There's a certain feeling to each. Three points define a plane. What is this feeling pointing to? The finger pointing at the moon.

* Regarding sit-back-and-down,

If you go backward only, then you'll lose balance and fall down or tense up to keep "balance"/from falling over (so not truly balanced). Knees forward only will pop out the kua and the tendency is to lean back because the hips are not relaxed and open.

Back and down and knees forward keeps balance and gets a stretch in the thigh when relaxed.

Back is not really back but it's the intention of back. Actually, mostly down. Intention is 45 degree back and down.

Back and knees forward creates a stretch in the leg/thigh and loads the weight into the thigh. Practice lower in the beginning and get the feel and to develop inner thigh muscles.

* Note: The following drawing has no accompanying notes. I assume a long discussion got summarized into this drawing. Here's my understanding of what this drawing seems to be summarizing...

Referencing the P.I.D. loop model, feeling presence, being in the moment, connected, ease under load, are the various words for the target I'm shooting for. After having experienced this in class a few times with my instructor fine tuning my zhan zhuang structure, I was trying to find that "sweet spot" on my own through intention or through shutting off my mind chatter. A "stilled mind" was another effect I noticed when I experienced those "presence" feelings during zhan zhuang. And so I cycled between the use of and effects of two methods in my attempt to experience that which neither method could actually elicit for me. And yet, the more I refine the method, the closer I get to "the goal".

* Who are you beneath the rules you live by?

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Where Is Your Focus?: Journal Notes #74
Next article in this series: - Check back next Monday after 10 a.m. U.S. EST.

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Where Is Your Focus?: Journal Notes #74

2012-01-16T10:00:00.013-05:00

Notes from my January 2010 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: What's the difference between Victor's method (practicing horse stance) and Wujifa?

Answer: He uses the knee more as a hip joint to help people make progress in stance. In Wujifa, we practice in a higher stance as it's easier for beginners and at an advanced level, requires people to understand how to use the hip joint correctly and not the knees. Neither way is good nor bad. They're just different approaches.

People using the knee as a hip joint is a common place where people get stuck because the hip and lower back do not have enough mobility.

(Here my question is referring to a previous class which you can listen to excerpts at: Victor Chao Internal Martial Arts Training: Journal Notes # 73.)

* Question: So should I be practicing yoga to loosen my hips?

Answer: Not necessarily. Most yoga people stretch around their armor. Also being flexible or hyper mobile is not necessarily functional either. Stretched and flaccid is also a form of armor.

(I found this analogy to be helpful. Think of a meter long length of chain. If you hold both ends and twist in opposite directions, notice the effect. Now "freeze" a few links in a couple different spots, for example, about 1/3 of the way in from each end. Then again hold the chain at both ends and twist. Notice the "frozen" section does not move. If you don't "unfreeze" your sticky spot, you'll likely force the moveable part to stretch even more to compensate for the "frozen" part.)

* Question: More recently when you adjust my stance it feels like I'm not using any muscle when I'm being pushed on. Is this what they mean by using Qi?

Answer: Of course you have to use muscle, however, the question is, "Where is your focus?" Is your focus on the contracting side or on the expanding side? Focus on expanding. Even if a stance position or movement appears contracting, it can still be expanding.

(I might add that part of the effect of the adjustment is a resetting of my focus on the expanding-ness feeling of the structural adjustment. Adjustments may have a greater effect than simply moving a body part in space.)

* Question: How should I think about yin-yang and fulcrum?

Answer: Yin-yang is a frame. The fulcrum is a frame.

(From my understanding, a "frame" is a kind of point of view or perspective, a way to understand, a what to focus on. For example, it's like seeing the world through yellow glasses or through blue glasses.)

* Question: I notice in stance recently that I my abdomen vibrates or "buzzes", like there is a feeling of a continuous inhaling. What's next?

Answer: It's OK to stay with that for a while. Continue to make adjustments in your kua. Kua in, chest out, no hunching.

Notice the feeling of the adjustment and how the adjustment changes or enhances the original feeling. (Instructor adjusts my stance.) How does that feel?

Me: Now my legs are vibrating stronger than the abdominal vibration. I lost the feeling of the abdomen vibrating. My sensitivity/awareness couldn't distinguish the two. Abdomen drowned out by legs.

* Note: I've progressed to where I can get into feeling and then yet, still make mechanical adjustments and keep my focus on feeling.

* Question: How much inhale/expanding whole body feeling should I practice? It feels like I can turn this feeling off and go dead post or I can ramp it up to as much as I can. Where to play?

Answer: Not at 100%. Play at about 50%.

(This is not referring to breathing but to intention that gave me a feeling like... )

* Note: In one class stance training session, I reached a point where my T-shirt was soaked and dripping on the floor and I had no attention left to stay present. I was starting to drift out. We can have some pretty intense zhan zhuang training sessions.

(As I wrote in my Why My Peng-Jing Is Still Weak, I can "step up" my game when training in class but I don't push myself to the same level when I train alone at home. From class, I learn what it means to really train zhan zhuang and I learn at what level I'm capable of training zhan zhuang and yet... )

* Question: Why teach with questions?

Answer: Questions reveal where you are in your training. The Question and Answer approach is a method to tailor training to you. Having to formulate questions about your practice also helps you develop a particular mindset. You begin to think in questions; become inquisitive. Having formed a question, the answer may come to you when you least expect it. This is the doorway to teaching yourself; how you can teach you.

* Question: Are some questions better than others?

Answer: The data/thinking questions are not related to personal feeling. These give you knowledge but don't help with experience. Mechanical questions about feeling are a step in the right direction. Aim for feeling questions about feeling.

* Question: What are blind spots related to zhan zhuang practice?

Answer: Blind spots are the areas in ourselves where we get stuck but can't see this in ourselves. You're holding patterns are too close to you - have become part of who you are. Hence why school brothers who are ahead of us are so important to help guide and point out what we can't see in ourselves.

* The movie, "The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi" has a line like: "Even with my eyes wide open I can't see a thing".

* Note: I discovered that I've given myself a "frozen shoulder" most likely from my habit of sitting at work, propping my left elbow on my desk and propping my head on my left hand. I see this as an awful turn of events, a setback and my instructor sees this as an opportunity for me to learn something about my body as I work to "unfreeze" it.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Victor Chao Internal Martial Arts Training: Journal Notes #73
Next article in this series: - Check back next Monday after 10 a.m. U.S. EST.

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

How Long Does It Take To Develop Peng-Jing?

2012-01-15T08:30:00.003-05:00

When people talk about developing Peng-Jing they often say it takes "a long time", or "many years". Sorry, there is no such thing as "instant" peng-jing. So what exactly is involved in developing peng-jing that takes "a long time" or "many years"?

This article is a follow-up to my article Why My Peng-Jing Is Still Weak where I finished with the question, "How long will it take for me to develop stronger peng-jin?"

The short answer to these questions is: It depends... but it won't happen instantly.

It is easy to find lists or discussions about the qualities of peng-jing, for example, Clear's Tai Chi has a short list of Qualities Necessary for Peng Jing. I would suggest that these qualities are like the branches of a tree. These qualities naturally show up through training that is focused on the trunk of the tree (using this metaphor). From my experience, intellectually knowing the branches did not help me develop the trunk.

Story time...

Somewhere back in 1996-2000 I was invited to a training session with Rick Taracks and Victor Chao. I remember watching them stand facing each other, in a beginning push-hands pose, and then each shared comments about where they could feel the other was holding tension or was stuck or where there was not a clear path to ground and how the micro-postural adjustment either made the groundpath stronger or weaker.

When it came to my turn to "push" with each of these guys, I couldn't even understand intellectually what they were noticing in my body. This is how "dead post" I was at that time.

Victor showed me a training method of standing and pushing on a door which for me elicited and continued the effect in my legs that I experienced "pushing" with him.

I drove home feeling I had a good workout, parked my car, stepped out, and my leg collapsed underneath me. It took several seconds of propping myself up on the car waiting for my legs to get under me. I hobbled into the house, not sore, more like, I was re-learning how to walk.

This was the first time I was shown the door to developing peng-jing and I didn't even know it!

Over the past nine years of training Wujifa Zhan Zhuang, I've been shown that same door many times! In Wujifa zhan zhuang class, my instructor would make a series of postural adjustments to my zhan zhuang alignment and the end result would be my legs collapsing under me and him enthusiastically exclaiming, "There, you had it!"

So how long does it take to develop peng-jin?" From a guy who has a little peng-jing and has felt a lot in a few others, and knows more than he can demonstrate, here's my short list of how long it takes to develop peng-jing.

Developing peng-jing takes as long as it takes for you to:

Clear out muscular tensions and holding patterns. This means working on rudimentary structural issues in zhan zhuang that result in more relax and more leg strength. How quickly this happens depends on how aggressive you are in facing and working through your issues and how quickly your body naturally responds.
Understand what's involved in this practice. Once you begin developing some relax on top and some leg strength on the bottom, and some presence, then "the path" begins to emerge for you. You learn how to train and what you must train. You may grasp this after your first lesson or it may take longer to figure it out.
Commit with all your heart, and summon all your will power to train hard on your own. Finding an equally committed training partner is a bonus. It is relatively easy for a high-level teacher to show you "the door". It's another matter altogether to figure out on your own how to find that door on your own and walk through it on your own.

Hence, this is why very few people develop real peng-jing and for those that do, it takes a "long time" or "many years". But how many years is "many years"? It can be as few as three years with a qualified instructor or it can take as long as you continue resisting doing the serious work you need to do to really develop peng-jing.

That, in a nutshell, is how long it takes to develop peng-jing.

Why My Peng-Jing Is Still Weak

2012-01-15T00:25:00.001-05:00

Why is my peng-jing still weak after all these years of learning and training zhan zhuang? Here's a list of ways I've self-sabotaged and derailed my progress in peng-jing.

Before I expose my short list of excuses and truths, here's an excerpt from my article, What Internal Strength Means to Me .... just so we're on the same page.

"What sign post are you looking for to confirm that you are NOW on the correct path?"
To be able to "sink the weight" into my legs. To be able to distinguish the feeling of carrying my weight in legs vs in my shoulders or upper torso.

To be able to take an incoming push and run that through my structure and fascia system to ground and at the same time be relaxed and able to move around while maintaining that connection.

To be able to express a large amount of power or force in a minimal distance - the zero-inch punch. I think many people think of this as "fa-jing".
"What measurement or accomplishment would be sufficient for YOU to declare that you have developed at least some internal power?"

The short answer is: When I can feel a clearly identifiable feeling of connection throughout my entire body with a feeling of ease under load, and attain this feeling on my own without set-up adjustments from my instructor, and have my entry-level whole-body connectedness validated by a real master outside the school. This would be a sufficient measurement for me to declare I have developed at least some internal power.

* * *

Now, on to my excuses and truths regarding why my peng-jing is still weak.

My legs are still too weak. I really can't learn any more physically until my legs get stronger. This involves figuring out on my own how to get more "kua in" and relax of the muscles I normally use and developing the muscles I don't normally use.
I practice going to discomfort or long slow torment which is not the same as going to suffering.
I get to the suffer point and then back off. However, eating bitter = enjoying suffering = developing and refining internal connection = peng-jing.
I'm not self-disciplined enough. I don't train hard enough. I don't stick to principle. I try to incorporate other stuff to avoid what I really need to do.
I still train with a beginners training habit (nibble a little bitter here, a little there) but after 20 years, I should be where I can't wait to dig into eating bitter!
I don't train with a beginners mind. I'm still carrying the baggage of "teach me". However, I've entered the Ph.D. realm where I need to do my own research on and in myself. I haven't fully transitioned yet.
I have focused on making knowledge-progress over making physical-progress. I'm out of balance.
I don't practice zhan zhuang consistently and intensely. Sure I'll go at it good for a while but then I back off. This kind of on-and-off cycle has defined my zhan zhuang practice over the years.

* * *

Granted, I do have some peng-jing but not as much as I could have if I consistently train to suffering. What does "train to suffering" mean to me? For now it means:

Figuring out how to elicit and continuously get to feeling the coin size burning in the middle of my quads when I stand in a medium height zhan zhuang (not a low ma-bu).
Figuring out how to quickly get to the point where I feel afraid my legs are on the verge of collapsing underneath me and then push myself until they physically collapse. And then get up and do it again.
And do #1 and #2 above by myself without my sifu, a "personal coach" or a marine drill sergeant in my face.

What will it take to get my physical-level in balance with my knowledge-level so I actually become what I know and think about?

I'm told the suffering we're talking about here might only last a couple weeks and then the body and mind adapt. Most people use the avoidance of suffering as an excuse because they don't want to change. I think I've been in this camp...

How long will it take for me to develop stronger peng-jin? Hmmm....

Writing this article is one of those cathartic experiences...

And be sure to read my follow up article: How Long Does It Take To Develop Peng-Jing?

Victor Chao Internal Martial Arts Training: Journal Notes #73

2012-01-09T10:00:00.010-05:00

Notes from my December 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Practice the ordinary to become extra-ordinary. It is the normal "a-ha" moments that change everything which then becomes your new ordinary.

* Question: If I'm training zhan zhuang on my own and I'm following "the feeling", how can I know if I'm going in the right direction, that is, if I'm on the right path?

Answer: You can teach yourself when you find your calibration points. But a teacher must show you first.

(For example, if you miss the target feeling and make a course correction to return to the target feeling of "fascial connection" but don't know the feeling of fascial connection and you correct too late or too soon, then you never get to the target feeling.

This is another reason why it is so important to get verification of your training progress.)

* On a separate note, the below are my notes from the December 20th Wujifa class at which a guest instructor, Victor Chao, taught. These questions are a sample of those the group of us asked him.

I've found it instructive to hear how other teachers teach. Sometimes hearing the same concept phrased differently from a different teacher will trigger an "A-ha" moment. However, the trap I've fallen into is assuming the guest or seminar teacher taught me something that my regular teacher wasn't teaching. When I go back, I often find the teaching was there; I just didn't "get it" or had become deaf to hearing it.

* Question: What's your suggestion on doing horse stance?

Answer: Stand with knees out with intention of pushing knees back. Carry the weight in the inside of the legs, not the outside. The butt and lower back should be soft. This can be achieved with 6-12 months of serious work. Don't slouch. It's gonna hurt. Qi sinking will hurt. Muscle hurt. Not joint hurt. Kua has to open. Feels like a sucking in feeling. Must loosen hamstrings.

(Victor then gave each of us a hamstring stretch. The result was we each saw God that day.)

* Question: What's the dan-tian?

Answer: The "dan-tian is the engine, the driver. This area has to get unstuck first before you can do anything. If this area is stuck, then you can't feel what you need to for your movements to come from the dan-tian.

* Question: How long should we practice every day?

Answer: The quantity of time spent practicing is not as important as the quality and intensity of the time spent practicing. For example, when you start horse stance, you may only be able to stand 1-3 minutes. That's OK. Find your ground point (suffering) and go there. If you don't go to suffering, you'll never get it.

* It takes years and years of beating the bushes trying to find the door and there's no guarantee you'll ever find it but once you get the feeling, you can't get rid of it. After that, the only difference is how much you're willing to train to develop that strength.

For a lot more goodies, listen to an impromptu audio recording as Victor Chao talks about internal martial arts training. Thank you to Rick for making this recording and for making this available!

And here's the Vimeo link: Victor Chao talks about internal martial arts training

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: The Middle Path: Journal Notes #72
Next article in this series: - Check back next Monday after 10 a.m. U.S. EST.

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

The Middle Path: Journal Notes #72

2012-01-02T10:00:00.041-05:00

Notes from my November 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Notice the difference between holding and relax. Notice holding. Notice relaxing. Notice between. What is between holding and relaxing? Between is the area to play in. There are no words to describe the feeling in that "between" area. "Fascial stretch" is the way Wujifa describes the feeling.

(I confess, my knowledge of fascia was stuck at high school biology. The more I relax and feel and the more I learn about fascia, the more I understand why "fascial stretch" is a good way to describe the feeling of whole body connectedness.)

* Question: When I practice the Wujifa side-to-side exercise, do I push off from the weighted leg or pull myself over from the unweighted leg?

Answer: When practicing side to side, pushing off from the weighted leg is necessary for beginners. Later, after you can move with correct alignment, then notice when you feel the kua open and close. The open kua, which would be on the side of the unweighted leg, feels like a taut, stretched rubber band pulling you back to the other side. This is the level of relax you must achieve to notice this feeling and to yield to this feeling. The open kua is the setup for fa-jing.

(The more I see my instructor and school brother demonstrate this kind of whole-body movement, the more I see what his description is describing.

Even though I've been practicing relax for a while, I am inspired when I get a deeper insight into the meaning and feeling of relax - "Oh, that's what relax means!" The more I relax, the more clear I get on what is a muscularly forced, faux fa-jing and what is the real stuff.

If my instructor's description doesn't strike you as, "That's one way to describe what I feel.", then please DO NOT try to imagine the taut rubber band feeling as a method to help you develop fa-jing because doing so would take you down the wrong path!!

You are where you are and that's where you start. What level of relax-feel-sensitivity do you have now? That's where you are. If you really want to do fa-jing correctly, it's better to be honest with yourself and admit "I don't have that level of feeling-sensitivity yet." than to fool yourself by imagining what that feeling "must" feel like.

There's a HUGE difference between DESCRIBING what you feel and IMAGINING you are feeling what someone else describes!)

* Note: We had a long discussion about my approach to training zhan zhuang. These are some of the key points:

My pattern is mechanistic. I look at, and for, individual parts.
I look for methods to add to my collection of methods.
My method is to connect the dots; to discover common elements to understand the whole.
My pattern is also to identify a specific problem that needs fixing. This works in the external mechanical world but does not work in the internal kinesthetic world. A more functional approach is to notice connections. Notice relax.

(Despite all the college philosophy classes I took and all the self-help analysis I've done, none of that contributed a whit to a functional, boots-on-the-ground "know yourself" that became exposed through practicing Wujifa zhan zhuang. The "know yourself" that became important to me in zhan zhuang training was knowing how I approached training and how my approach influences the results I get and in turn, the amount of progress I do or do not make.)

* Question: During the past two weeks, I'm noticing how relaxing and widening the shoulders results in feeling the fingers extending. Am I on the right track?

Answer: Yes and no. Extend your index finger. What do you feel?
Me: Top of forearm.
Rick: Extend your baby finger. What do you feel?
Me: Bottom of forearm.
Rick: Extend your middle finger. What do you feel?
Me: Through the middle of my forearm.
Rick: Practice extending the middle finger. Build the intention in the middle path. If you practice "out" as a method, then you must learn "in" as a method. When you choose "middle", then you have both "out" and "in" available.

(The perspective of the below drawings is from your eyes looking down your right arm to your right palm. The two smaller circles in Fig 1. and Fig 2. represent your two forearm bones: ulna and radius. Fig 3. departs from anatomical accuracy.)

*Question: So what's wrong with practicing outside and inside? This seems really practical.

Answer: If you practice feeling the outside and inside path, this sets up a polarity (yin-yang). When you practice polarity and you want to jump to the next level (wuji), then how do you do that? Many people jump to being "not present" because they don't know how to unify or bridge the polarity. They mistake the "not-present" sensation as being enlightened, as being in Wuji.

Practice the middle path. Be present. Feel something! Feel anything! Feel! When you practice feeling the middle, you connect with unity. Begin with unity. Unity includes polarity. Build, deepen, expand your presence.

When you think of polarity, think of a teeter-totter, a board balanced on a fulcrum. You can load up both sides of a teeter-totter and it can break. So it's better to be the fulcrum on which the teeter-totter rests. Stay with the principle and apply methods/medicines as needed.

* Question: Sometimes I feel like I'm doing zhan zhuang all wrong. How do I do it correctly?

Answer: It's not about doing zhan zhaung right or wrong. You're still getting stuck on the method. "The method is not the truth. Once you get the feeling, get rid of the method." It's about discovering the feeling of connectedness when you are standing in zhan zhuang. To discover feeling, there is no right or wrong way, only your way.

* Question: What's the relation between Tai-chi and Yi-chuan?

Answer: Wang Xiang-zhai, the founder of Yi-chuan taught principles. When he died, his students taught methods. So in one generation, the art has been degraded. The same has happened in Tai-chi where there have been generations of degradation.

*Question: What should I look for in a zhan zhuang teacher?

Answer: You must ask: Do the teachings point to the "A-ha!" of the principle and then show the method/medicine to help explain the principle?

A good teacher should not just teach a collection of methods. The method is only a "feeling-pointer". Feelings are not data!!!

People eventually find their own methods. The mistake is to teach feeling as data: We do "X" to feel "Y". Don't get stuck on individual data-feelings and miss the unifying connectedness feeling.

* Question: I notice my shoulder muscles are hard even when I lay on the floor when all these muscles should be soft and relaxed.

Answer: Notice your intention is focusing on a problem again. Focus your intention on your goal. Focus on the muscle relaxing, extending, softening.

* The weight distribution in the foot is determined or influenced by the twist in the calf, the amount of bend in the knee and the rotation of the foot. A lot of fascia and muscles play into the position of the foot on the floor.

(Indeed, getting the feet really parallel in Wujifa zhan zhuang alignment is much more complicated than it initially appears. Feet parallel doesn't mean shoes parallel. It means the entire structure of each foot is straight with no deviations and each foot is parallel to the other. Getting the feet truly parallel can take quite a bit of work.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Building Internal Community: Journal Notes #71
Next article in this series: - Check back next Monday after 10 a.m. U.S. EST.

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Chinese Martial Arts History

2011-12-28T08:24:00.002-05:00

An internet search for "Chinese Military History" tends to yield a completely different result set from a search for "Chinese Martial Arts History" and yet these two histories are inextricably linked.

For a primer on how "martial" diverged from "military" and for a perspective on separating Chinese martial arts fact from fiction, you might want to read a couple easily accessible books by Brian L. Kennedy and Elizabeth Nai-Jia Guo:

Chinese Martial Arts Training Manuals: A Historical Survey (2005)
and
Jingwu: The School That Transformed Kung Fu (2010)

What I got out of reading these books together was how and when the military martial arts crossed-over from being a closed-door, skilled and paid trade of the military, village militias, and security guards into an open-door form of exercise for strengthening the general population.

Basically, it seems the crossover from martial arts for fighting to martial arts for exercise occurred during the Republican era (1911-1949) with the influential writings of Sun Lu-tang (1860-1933) and the original Jingwu Athletic Association (1909-1924).

At that time the military/martial arts, using traditional military hardware; swords, sabers, spears, etc., was on the precipice of extinction due to a negative populace view and the advent of firearms. The martial arts survived largely due to emerging associations like Jingwu which made martial arts accessible to the general public as a form of exercise to strengthen the nation; a strong body and strong mind would strengthen the country.

The historical Chinese military fighting arts were not dissimilar to our current U.S. Army or Marine Corps fighting arts in that there was and is an underlying cosmology and cultural worldview. However, it is doubtful, as these authors infer, that a modern soldier would orient or speak of his close-quarter combat training and sidearms use in cosmological terms. So too throughout the history of Chinese military martial arts. However, during the Republican era, all this changed. Referring now to Sun Lu-tang mentioned above:

"Sun's books modeled, for better or worse, the way the modern world sees the three internal martial arts of China. When a modern practitioner of Taiji speaks of the art as being "good for his health and a way to align his energy with the energy of the Tao", he is parroting Sun Lu Tang. Or when Bagua practitioners walk the Bagua circle and talk of how "Bagua forms are physical embodiments of the I-Ching," their ideas derive largely from Sun Lu Tang. Or when modern day practitioners of Xingyi opine that "the five forms of Xingyi interact like the five basic elements in Taoist cosmology," they too owe their thinking to the foundations established by Sun Lu Tang." (pg 182. Chinese Martial Arts Training Manuals)

And so 100 years later, what we now call Chinese martial arts are an odd combination of these two influences: open door, exercise oriented, cosmologically intertwined, remnants of military/militia close quarter combat drills (minus the associated weaponry).

Other perspectives I enjoyed in this book are:

The authors outright reject the popular myths and market hype that have been more recently created and passed off as historical fact - as they call it, "pulp journalism".
The authors discuss how some masters' systems or styles will never be known because they either left no written legacy (training manual) or their manuals were destroyed, and conversely, how some more recent "masters" may have received undo fame because they were much written about and received by a naive public.

Call me a guy who's been around the barn a few times, but I now find that the extra-ordinary achievements of ordinary, mundane people practicing ordinary, mundane practices are more inspiring than any fanciful Taoist Immortal or cosmologically spiced up "special" practice.

The "Chinese Martial Arts Training Manuals" book does not include actual translations of old training manuals. However, the authors included a chapter on Liu Kang Yi, a Taiwanese collector who publishes reprints of these old martial arts training manuals. I believe this is the link to the Taiwan site: Lion Books Martial Arts Publishing. And I believe you can also find these reprinted training manuals at Plum Publishing.

Building Internal Community: Journal Notes #71

2011-12-26T10:00:00.043-05:00

Notes from my October 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: Why do you say there is no goal in training the building of connection?

Answer: It means that there is no end point. There is always further refinement. Consider the P.I.D. loop. It continually adjusts. If anything, the goal is to continually adjust to approach the median.

(From Wikipedia: A proportional–integral–derivative controller (PID controller) is a generic control loop feedback mechanism (controller) widely used in industrial control systems – a PID is the most commonly used feedback controller.

I remember my instructor drawing a picture like the above in class and explaining something like the following... Let's say the blue line represents "the goal" of training - a deep and full feeling of relaxed connection. And I am the red line.

I begin (at point 1,0) by practicing a method of zhan zhuang alignment. Like many beginners, I can't even feel into my own body. So while the goal is to feel connection, in my practice I get stuck on the method and I don't recognize any kind of feeling - I'm just practicing the method. So I overshoot the blue line which was my "goal" - noticing "the feeling".

My instructor, who is the P.I.D. controller in this example, notices that if I continue the path I'm on, this won't lead me to "the feeling" and so corrects the course of my practice.

I then change my practice but I get attached to the new method and without feeling, I overshoot the blue line. My instructor notices my error and guides me back again to the feeling that the method is intended to elicit.

If you've been following my zhan zhuang training journal notes, most of my practice to this point can be summarized as I did above: I'm shown the feeling but I get stuck on practicing the method instead of practicing to find the feeling.

After nearly ten years of this level and kind of stance corrections, I began to learn how I was getting stuck on methods. As you'll continue reading in this post, I'm beginning to feel.

The P.I.D model not only applies to the path I've walked so far - being reminded that "the method is not the truth" - but also to those like my instructor, who already feel relaxed fascial connection. Feeling "the feeling" is not the endpoint, but the beginning point to then refine, deepen, and strengthen "the feeling".

Continually refining the path that has no goal... there is always more refining...)

* Question: Will the burning in my thighs go away in time?

Answer: Yes and No. Yes, it will go away if you stay where you are. No, it won't go away if you continue to relax at deeper levels and continue dropping more weight into your legs.

* Question: How can I learn how to learn this zhan zhuan exercise?

Answer: You can be one guy standing in a soup line waiting for a handout or you can be part of a community that works together.

There are different levels of understanding "community". On a macro level, you can build community/connections outside - a social network. On a micro level, you can build community/connections inside - a feeling/fascial network.

* Question: What's going on with my back?

Answer: Well, what do you notice about your back?

Me: I can feel the lower and upper parts but not the middle part in-between. It feels like the whole back is not connected.

Instructor: Why is that? How do you notice your back?

Me: What do you mean?

Instructor: Noticing adds energy. You focus your attention on what you notice. Noticing builds neural pathways in the brain. Build community. Ask it.

Me: Back! How does the lower part feel? (Back's answer: Feels widening horizontally.)

Me: Back! How does the upper part feel? (Back's answer: Feel stretching vertically.)

Me: The feelings are not the same! What's up with that?

Instructor: Introduce the two. Build your internal community.

(I was noticing different feelings in my back but I had the concept that "the feeling" should be the same throughout and so I was confused by what I was noticing. I didn't appreciate that I was now able to notice different feelings; that I might notice many different feelings depending on the part of the body I can notice...)

* Notice differently! Always noticing in the same way will always give you the same result and this will keep you stuck.

(This is a great example of a P.I.D. loop instruction. The way you've been noticing got you "x" results but if you continue that way, you'll miss the mark. Modifying how you notice will give you more insights.)

* Question: How do I notice differently?

Answer: Use the analogy of colored glasses. What do you notice looking through blue glasses? What do you notice looking through green and then yellow glasses? You still see the same table but differently. How can you change the lens through which you notice your own internal kinesthetic feelings? You have to figure this out for yourself.

* Question: How can I build connections internally? Like with my back, I can feel upper and lower separately but not as one single unit.

Answer: Notice your emotional state, the tone of your voice - frustrated, not curious. This is a different way to notice. So now you notice a couple kinesthetic feelings and you notice an attitudinal feeling. How cool is that?

Me: Not cool at all! It doesn't help.

Instructor: Think about the giant redwood trees in California. A redwood tree does not have an individual, deep taproot. Rather, redwoods have shallow surface roots that intertwine with other redwoods and together the roots form a web of support, a community.

* Question: What then should I notice or focus on?

Answer: For you, don't focus on all the little details because you get lost there. For now, focus more on general concepts, the bigger picture. Sometimes focusing more broadly resolves the details. After you get the general idea of how feeling connection works, then you can chunk back down to details and apply the same method to build more connection.

* This is how you learn on your own.

* Oct 26 personal training note: During stance practice today I felt my sides "drop". I suppose anatomically, I felt my oblique muscles relax and let go. Very interesting feeling! This was accompanied by a feeling of my elbows dropping and my thigh muscles relaxing which felt kind of like the muscle sliding down toward the knee and the knee sliding forward.

* Oct 30 personal training note: During stance practice today I had a feeling of my shoulders "letting go" or expanding which was followed by a feeling of my elbows pushing out which was weird because when I looked at my elbows, they hadn't moved from my side and my fingers felt like they were naturally extending, even though I wasn't intentionally extending them. It was just feeling that way. That's weird. When one part "moved", other parts "moved".

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: How Do You Know: Journal Notes #70
Next article in this series: - Check back next Monday after 10 a.m. U.S. EST.

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

How Do You Know: Journal Notes #70

2011-12-19T10:00:00.046-05:00

Notes from my August-September 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* The various feelings I've been experiencing in stance class like, connection and presence, are so unique and so different that I can't find any other data terminology to compare them to.

(This drove me crazy when I first started feeling these feelings. Now I've come to accept the uniqueness of this exercise. It's OK that there are no words.)

* Are you motivated by carrots or sticks? If I'm holding the stick, then I can't relax and respond because I'm holding the stick. Noticing the stick leads to a dead end. Noticing the opportunity when getting hit by the stick leads to....

* Finish all statements about your zhan zhuang experiences with "That's weird." Why do this? Because a statement/explanation is produced by the ego and reinforces identification with the thought. When you say "that's weird", you question the basis of the thought and this creates an opportunity to explore other avenues.

(There's a place for being definite and for being not definite. I've learned that there's a difference between getting clear on feeling and getting clear on the concept of or "the talk" about feeling... That's weird.

Notice the shift?)

* I'm still too focused on "doing it right". I'm still too stiff when I practice stance. I follow the rules too rigidly: notice, relax, balance, structure. A good medicine for me now is to do silly, uncoordinated, goofy dancing to loosen my grip on "doing it right". When I goofy-dance, I "feel" silly and embarrassed but my body responds by naturally relaxing. Goofy-dancing loosens my mind's grip on my body and my whole system relaxes naturally without all the effort I normally apply.

(As I mentioned in previous posts, I discovered I cannot compartmentalize zhan zhuang practice from daily life. Whatever attitudes I demonstrate in daily life will naturally appear in my zhan zhuang practice. "Relax" and "let go" cannot be a kinesthetic phenomena isolated to zhan zhuang practice. "Goofy dancing" is a method to help put me in a "relax and let go" frame of mind-body.)

* When you notice a pattern, then you have an opportunity to break that pattern and try something different.

(If you dare.... )

* Question: In stance class, you always look me in the eye and ask where am I. And then I learned about my pictures. Bringing this to my attention, I'm now noticing differences in peoples' eyes. What's up with this?

Answer: The level of intensity emanating from the eyes directly corresponds to the amount of relax and expanding-ness in the body. The two cannot be separated. Relax is about expanding. Expanding is not pushing outward. "Pushing" implies using force. Relax and allow expanding.

* How do you know?

(This is a great question often heard in Wujifa class!

Another great Wujifa statement is "Show me." This typically follows the response to the "How do you know?" question. Here's a sample dialogue from a typical Wujifa class:

"I feel Qi flowing." How do you know? "Because x,y,z." Show me.

"I feel grounded." How do you know? Because x,y,z." Show me.

The "How do you know?" and the "Show me." I think really contribute to keeping internal skill development functional and demonstrable.

How do you know?)

* Be specific on the edge of what you can influence. Playing on the edge of your circle of influence will expand what you can influence.

* You can conceptualize and visualize 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4 and imagine connection but if you don't practice kinesthetically feeling connection through 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4, then you won't get it.

* The method is not about noticing "x" and doing nothing about it. Don't just notice stuff. Rather, notice "x" and then use 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4 to further refine "x" and in turn, then further refine your practicing 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4.

(The 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4 mentioned above refer to the Wujifa Zhan Zhuang alignment.)

* Question: In the last class you set me up and I felt a deep, lower belly relax. Over the past two weeks of practice, I lost that feeling, or have been unable to notice the same feeling again. How do I get back to that feeling again?

Answer: Whatever feeling you are noticing now in response to the method employed to help elicit that feeling is "the feeling". Think of "the feeling" as a point. As you refine and feel more and deeper, you can then look back at the various feelings you noticed. This is why it is good to keep a journal. When you look back, you notice that each feeling-point became a pointer to the next feeling. You notice the points line up to point to something. That "something" is the direction of progress.

For example, when you walk up a flight of steps, you use the same method to get from one step to the next step. With each step you notice that the view changes. You don't try to recreate the view from the previous step on the new step.

Similarly, with each "step" in stance practice, you notice changes in what you can feel. As you become more sensitive to a greater variety and depth of feeling, then what you are able to notice in yourself and others also changes. Your capability to notice and feel will change and deepen with practice over time.

(In Wujifa practice we are developing our ability to feel the internal kinesthetic sense of fascial connectedness. When I began this practice, I did not feel connection. In fact, I did not feel much of anything! Simply developing the ability to feel was not simple. Over time with practice, the feeling skill is honed and more areas of the body open to feeling. Slowly, glimpses of the connected feeling are emerging for me.)

* Question: You mentioned turning feeling into a method. How can feeling turn into a method?

Answer: The feeling can become a method if you keep going back to recreating and practicing that same feeling. If you stay stuck on whatever feeling you are noticing and feeling now, then you will not progress.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Developing Presence: Journal Notes #69
Next article in this series: - Check back next Monday after 10 a.m. U.S. EST.

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

New Insights on Old Zhan Zhuang Video

2011-12-13T21:03:00.004-05:00

Occasionally I like to re-watch old movies and videos. I'm often surprised with new insights. I recently re-watched Erle Montaigue's Advanced Qiqong Volume 2 (MTG 175) and discovered that I now understand what he was saying about zhan zhuang entirely differently than I did when I first watched it about ten years ago.

Advanced Qiqong Volume 2 discusses Three Circle Qi Gong or what looks like Zhan Zhuang. Here is a short clip:

This time around, I noticed that:

Relaxing Feels Like

He speaks of the feeling of relaxing/dropping as "feeling like" a chain dropping in a tube.

Ten years ago, I tried imagining this image happening in my body to force the "like" feeling but I couldn't make it happen.

Today, I relax into my legs and I understand that, yes, relaxing with Wujifa zhan zhuang structure could be described as feeling like a chain dropping in a tube.

Lesson learned: Trying to force someone else' "feels like" feeling will not result in the feeling they say it "feels like". Practicing relaxing results in a feeling that may be described as...

Zhan Zhuang Isn't Boring

He mentions that if you're bored with Zhan Zhuang, then you're not doing it correctly.

Ten years ago, I didn't understand zhan zhuang and found it boring! I only wanted to practice push-hands and light sparring to maintain my skill level.

Today, with a calmer mind and more body focus and presence, and a kind of re-direction of purpose, I've discovered that zhan zhuang is definitely not boring! Difficult and challenging, yes, but not boring.

Lesson learned: Getting clear on my purpose and finding the appropriate training method makes a huge difference.

Super Qi Powers

He mentions that people give up because they're looking for all the wrong things.

Ten years ago, I was looking to develop super Qi powers through stance.

Today, I'm finding more by not looking for anything in particular but by simply noticing what's there.

Lesson learned: I gain more when I practice the ordinary until it becomes extra-ordinary than practicing some special, advanced Qi-gong that my body is not yet ready to enjoy the benefits of.

Activate Acupuncture Points

He talks about feeling the acupuncture points activating.

Ten years ago, I wondered how he felt individual acupuncture points "activate" (What does an inactive acupuncture point feel like in comparison?) and I imagined activating my acupuncture points.

Today, I still can't feel specific acupuncture points and I really don't care. I feel what I feel and I notice what I notice. I am where I am and that's where I start.

Lesson learned: Words are too ambiguous. Show me the feeling in my body that you are talking about. Give me a simple exercise designed for my level to help me change and grow.

Relax and Widen Pelvis

He talks about feeling the pelvis relaxing and the lower back widening.

Ten years ago, I could feel this and thought I knew exactly what he meant.

Today, I feel sooooo much more and I wonder how much further this can go.

Lesson learned: There is no end to feeling, understanding and being aware. The only goal is the point I achieve when I quit training.

Tension Held in Chest

He talks about tension and holding up.

Ten years ago, I was so full of tension and holding and I didn't have an experience of drop and let go to compare to tension and holding up. I had only a conceptual understanding and no body-experience understanding.

Today, having experienced the feeling of dropping into my legs and what it took to get there. I understand much more about tension and holding up.

Lesson learned: It takes a lot of correct practice to get to the point of body-understanding. Reading or hearing "x" and literally thinking "I understand" is the wrong path. Practice, demonstrate, validate.

Forcefully "Allowing"

He talks about letting happen what will naturally happen and don't try to imitate or force the shaking.

Ten years ago, I very well may have forcefully "allowed" the shaking because that is what's "suppose" to happen.

Today, I have experienced how the shaking arises and diminishes naturally and I notice spots where I tend to block it and when I relax more then...

Lesson learned: This is coming around to teach me again. In my recent Wujifa class I tried forcing the feeling of fascial connection. Of course, I was justly reprimanded. Too much muscle! Relax more. There! That's it!

Stand and Breathe

He talks about just stand and breath. Let the body do what it does.

Ten years ago, this was a confusing "huh?" concept. But... But... But...

Today, I am discovering what this means.

Lesson learned: The highest level practices when stated simply confounds the mind. Stand and relax. Can you do it?

Further reading:
See my earlier blog post titled: Notice Differently where I re-read The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Milman and noticed passages that related to experiences I've had since reading it the first time.

What new insights have you had on old teachings, books, videos? How has your understanding changed as your practice has evolved?

Developing Presence: Journal Notes #69

2011-12-12T10:00:00.025-05:00

Notes from my July 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Note: I didn't record a lot of questions and answers this month. Instead, I was dealing with a lot of stuff to get me to stop running from feeling deeper and to remain present with feeling deeper. So my notes are kind of, well, note-y. I hope you get an idea of the nature of what I was working on.)

* You are where you are and that's where you start.

(A lot of people don't know where they are and mistakenly want to start at a higher level than they are capable of and either skip or ignore the immediate work they need to do to get them to that higher level. I've done this either through ignorance, not knowing or not being taught what the immediate step was, or through ego, believing that I, a mere novice, could do what the old masters describe.)

* When I "zone out" or "go into trance" this means I'm not staying connected to feeling, hence, not feeling. Being present, being here, now and not "tranced-out", is an important step to feeling connection.

(Back in July 2009, I blogged an article titled: Zhan Zhuang; Breaking the Stance Trance in which I wrote about this experience as I understood it then. Now, after two more years of working on this I understand and feel more deeply.)

* The process I experienced and moved through in the July 23rd class. Breaking stance trance.

(If none of this makes sense to you or seems a bit "mystical", all I can say is that after two years of working on this, I can now notice more easily when I'm blocking or open to feeling, for example, when I'm dealing with some every-day life "situation" that I don't want to feel or when I hit a newer, deeper level of connection in zhan zhuang practice that feels completely awesome. I still tend to block the flow but opening in class and training is becoming easier and less painful. Another level of sensitivity and feeling.)

* When I feel anxiety, I notice the opportunity to ahhhhhh (exhale).

* Question: How do I figure out this presence thing?

Answer: Instead of trying to figure it out in your head, try to figure it out in your body. Then instead of trying to figure it out, simply feel.

Question to me: How hard do you have to try to figure this out? (Instructor touches my shoulder.)
Me: Not hard at all. I just feel it.
Instructor: Exactly!

* I now notice when I'm out there or in here. I am noticing opportunities to be here.

* I feel the presence feeling and connection as a very soft feeling. I can get there and here myself.

* Making movies and pictures inhibit my progress and slows me down.

* Becoming aware of feeling overloaded vs feeling overwhelmed. I feel secure with overloaded but overwhelmed with feeling still freaks me out.

* What is the opportunity? Noticing the opportunity can be pretty good medicine.

* I get stuck in my pictures... until now....

* Are you noticing out there (space)? Can you notice feeling in here (body)?

* I'm beginning to feel presence my self. I feel anxiety when I bring my pictures closer.

* Where are you? Here? What do you feel? Bring your attention into your body. What is the opportunity? To bring feeling inside.

* Pictures of You by The Cure.

(The most amazing aspect of Wujifa class is when a song on the playlist coincides with and puts into words the mood or feeling or teaching at that moment. Wujifa class can be a magical place at times. Check out this song which I noted as being a song from one class' playlist that hit the point.)

(Part of the lyrics:
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that I almost believe that they're real.
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel.
.
.
.
There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
than to feel you deep in my heart.
There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you.)

* We discussed the pros and cons of various zhan zhuang stances. Many stance practices allow for the body's habitual twists and chronic contractions. The difference with the Wujifa zhan zhuang stance is that it is designed to identify where the twists and chronic contractions are as the body attempts to conform to the Wujifa structure.

* Question: Dan is doing San-ti, why can't I start doing San-ti too?

Answer: After you feel connection from doing zhan zhuang, then you can move into doing san-ti.

(Again, you are where you are and that's where you start. A lot of people, like I used to be, don't know where they are and mistakenly want to practice higher level practices than they are capable of and either skip or ignore the immediate work they need to do to get to that higher level,)

* I'm beginning to notice there is a difference in the feeling between following the rules of stance (1,2,3,4-1,2,3,4) and standing in a way that feels right.

(This last line was actually the last entry for July 2009. How interesting that I noted this AFTER I went through the above noted classes and got more connected in my body...)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Wujifa Kua Movement: Journal Notes #68
Next article in this series: - How Do You Know: Journal Notes #70

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Wujifa Kua Movement: Journal Notes #68

2011-12-05T09:50:00.006-05:00

Notes from my June 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: Why practice side-to-side?

Answer: The Wujifa side-to-side exercise is a foundation movement that is found in silk reeling, Tai-chi, Yi-chuan, etc... It is the transition exercise from stance to moving. It teaches you how to develop your kua.

(If you haven't seen the Wujifa side-to-side video, watch it now. This is one of those deceptively "simple" exercises that reveals its depth the more you practice it.)

* Question: Can practicing side-to-side help me develop fa-jing?

Answer: Fa-jing comes from adding power to side-to-side. Once you get the feeling of the shifting being driven by the kua opening and closing, then you can add power behind it. Lead with feeling. Relax quickly. Let the power follow the feeling.

(From my experience, in beginners, the kua opening and closing is driven by the muscular power of the legs pushing or pulling. Trying to do fa-jing at this stage is completely wrong because it builds in bad habits that you'll only have to unlearn later if you want to get the real thing.

It takes a lot of practice just to get to the point where:
you begin to demonstrate proper Wujifa zhan zhuang alignment,
you learn the feeling of how to sit down while standing in zhan zhuang
you learn how to open the lower back and round the dang (圆裆)
you begin to feel what you can identify as an opening and closing feeling between the leg and lower abdomen using leg driven muscle power,
you begin to feel some of the fascial stretch in the inguinal crease (kua) as it opens and closes from leg driven muscle power,
I'm not there yet. I'm still working on #5.
Some have said the fa-jing shake is like sneezing. To try to imitate a sneeze and call this fa-jing is also completely wrong. I just sneezed and the sneeze was not driven from my kua.

Fai-jing is driven from the kua. You develop fa-jing by practicing the advanced form of side-to-side. Trying to do it with muscle will take you down the wrong path. There's a reason fa-jing is a high level skill...)

* Question: How should I work on developing my kua?

Answer: Many people aren't able to demonstrate the full range of movement of the kua. The kua can open and close vertically and horizontally and all degrees and percentages of degrees in-between.

Beginners need to first work on developing the basic feeling in the vertical and horizontal movements. For example beginning side-to-side is nearly 100% horizontal opening and closing and 0% vertical opening and closing.

(I've seen demonstrations on how various percentages of horizontal and vertical opening and closing result in the body being moved different ways. Quite amazing!

The pelvis/hip area is a very complex area to relax and feel into and learn how to control. I watch Youtube videos of "masters" who have less kua movement than me. Why they call themselves masters is beyond me.)

* Question: Can I continue to punch on my heavy bag while learning side-to-side?

Answer: Developing the kua with side-to-side is building a new body movement. To develop the kua, you must discontinue all other forms of training. You can't build in a new kinesthetic pattern when you continue to reinforce old existing patterns of movement.

(This was one of the difficulties for me. Besides being a good workout, slugging the punching bag was an ego-gratifier. To step away from heavy bag to practicing shifting side-to-side meant I had to change my exercise and training regimen.)

* Question: I can't feel the stretch up through the front. How do I get that?

Answer: Feeling the stretch/connection up and down the back is the first level. You need to get this first. Feeling the stretch/connection up and down the abdomen is the next level. You're not there yet. Focus on maintaining the feeling of connection as you shift side-to-side.

* Question: We were talking about my predilection to use polarity, that is, to view life, including my Wujifa practice, in yin-yang terms like good-bad, this-that. What's wrong with polarity?

Answer: Most people who run polarity tend to get stuck in their own polarity and this tends to hold them back from making progress.

A functional way to use polarity can help you make progress. Hold onto "this" as a method to explore the feeling of "that". Once you feel and understand "that", then let go of "this" which pointed you to "that". Now, the old "that" becomes the new "this". This and that become the wrungs on a ladder.

Note: I cannot see the path ahead. I cannot see the goal or objective. I may say my goal is to develop "internal strength" but I won't know the steps I need to take until I encounter what I need to do. Therefore, all I can ever see is a possible next step. (If I can see that at all!) And I can't know if that is really the actual next step until after I have a result. When I look back, then I will see my path that lead to my goal. I will see the methods that allowed my advances. I will see the steps I took. No two practitioners engage the same methods in exactly the same way.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Feeling and Data: Journal Notes #67
Next article in this series: - Check back next Monday after 10 a.m. U.S. EST.

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Feeling and Data: Journal Notes #67

2011-11-28T10:00:00.033-05:00

Notes from my May 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: Why is it that when I ask you questions you never answer the question I asked but somehow your answer does answer the question in a bigger way than I could have imagined?

Answer: When a student asks a question, always look at what the body is doing first. The verbal content (data) is secondary. Read the body (feeling). The words the student asks may be filtered by the student's conceptual framework and may not be related to the adjustment the body needs.

* Question: I notice a lot of tension in my lower back. How do I get that to relax?

Answer: To help loosen the lower back, do the head hanging exercise.

Stand upright. Feet parallel under hips. Point toes in so toes and knees touch each other. Without bending at hip socket, slowly roll head and torso forward as far as possible. Let head and arms hang. Push butt up. When you come up, sit down and push up from heels and roll up. This will also contribute to developing your kua by relaxing the muscles in the back. Release these to get the butt to drop.

* Question: I can see now that you do the (Chen Xiaowang) zhan zhuang closing circles differently than I do. What's going on?

Answer: There are three levels of the closing circles as you shift side-to-side.
Beginner. Just circle the hands. Follow the path of your large intestine.
Novice. Do side-to-side with kua and just let the hands go up and down.
Intermediate. Do side-to-side and the up and down are really both down and down. (The up is the dan-tian rolling up, in and down. The net effect is a down.)

* Question: Not having a language for the internal kinesthetic feeling terrain sure makes it tough to learn using existing skill sets and compare notes with others. What's your take on this?

Answer: The value of having no words for new feelings is that this is a great place to play. Once you assign a word/concept, then a method arises. Remember, the method is not the truth...

(As a guy so deeply wedded to data knowledge, I'm slowly coming to appreciate the beauty and volatility of the kinesthetic transmission of this feeling-knowledge.)

* Question: I read lots of books and websites and many authors are using words that sound to me like they are describing the feeling of internal strength. How can I know if their descriptions are describing the same feeling I'm working on?

Answer: When people do a quick, informal demonstration, as in "Hey, show me what you're talking about." they reveal what has or has not been built into the body. Once you have full body internal connection, it's easy to see who has or doesn't have it. A lot of people don't really have full body connection and yet, they can talk-the-talk.

* Question: For people who hunch, like me, can't this be corrected simply by keeping the shoulders rolled back?

Answer: Rolling the shoulders back, like the military "attention" pose is a temporary and superficial fix. People who use this method may appear to correct their hunch but may in fact have a sophisticated hiding method and they still keep the weight in the shoulders and not sunk.

(From my own experience, I've stood a head taller than my classmates since kindergarten. To try to fit in and feel part of the group, I developed a hunch to feel shorter. Incorrect Tai chi instruction reinforced this bad posture.

When I got into Wujifa zhan zhuang, I discovered that an external postural "fix" of rolling the shoulders back does not address the underlying emotional issue that built and maintains the hunch. I've noticed this in other school brothers as well. One's height has nothing to do with hunching.

Rolling the shoulders back without resolving the underlying issue that built and maintains the hunch is like putting lipstick on a pig. No matter how much it looks like Miss Piggy, it's still a pig.

It takes a lot of effort over time to address the underlying emotional issues that contribute to and maintain a particular physical structure. Don't expect to resolve these subtler structural issues through tai chi form classes or seminars.)

* Question: How do I self-teach? For example, I notice my deltoids tilt forward. If I correct this by rolling them back, then I notice my head feels tilted forward. If I push my head back, then I notice my deltoids feel rotated forward, etc. I get stuck in a loop. How can I learn from this?

Answer: If you get in a loop like you describe, then you are probably applying a medicine to a tight area that is not letting go. In this case, change your focus. There's a difference between noticing something to fix (being self-critical) vs noticing opportunity.

* Question: How can I continue developing on my own?

Answer: See the next step only. Don't get stuck in wanting to work five to ten steps ahead. Know where you are. Notice the opportunity presented to you. You are where you are and that's where you start.

* Question: What's the best way to handle insights that come up during practice?

Answer: Insights are great but you need to use them as a basis for experimenting and building-in the results.

* Question: I'm still not clear on the difference between principles and methods.

Answer: See Steven Covey's "Principle Centered Leadership" and compare that to his "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".

Principles should hold true in all cases. If not, then it's a rule or method. The framework gives you the application.

* Question: So what's a simple way to understand the difference between data and feeling?

Answer: Stand up. Now, explain how you stood up. Standing up is the doing, the feeling. Talking about the feeling after the fact is the data.

Also, there are no words for the level of kinesthetic feeling we work at. If you assign words like "stretch" and you don't know the feeling we assigned this word to, and if you have associated a different feeling with that word, then when you hear or read "stretch" you think B when really we mean A.

How can you open every joint in your body? What is that feeling?

* Expand and contract are not opposites. Expand is not relax. Expand is part of structure. Expand is peng. Expand then relax with expansion. Always practice expanding. Practice eccentric movement.

(This is another example. You read these words. You interpret these words through your own interpretive filters. You "think" you know what I'm talking about. You may or may not be correct.

I go to Wujifa zhan zhuang class. I watch my instructor. I get adjustments. I feel certain kinesthetic feelings. I don't have words for these feelings. We use words in class the concepts of which approximate the feeling so we have a common language. I record these words and my body remembers the kinesthetic experience.

You sit at your computer and read these words. You did not attend class. You did not experience the kinesthetic feeling. The best you can do is guess what feeling I'm trying to convey. Feeling and data.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Connecting Intention and Body: Journal Notes #66
Next article in this series: - Wujifa Kua Movement: Journal Notes #68

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Connecting Intention and Body: Journal Notes #66

2011-11-21T10:08:00.003-05:00

Notes from my April 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: How can you know where my mind is just by looking at me?

Answer: When you see anybody/any body, you know where their mind is. For example, show me your stance. (I get up and casually demonstrate my stance.) Look at your feet. (My feet aren't really parallel according to Wujifa zhan zhuang structure.) Your mind is only paying attention to the level of detail you naturally demonstrate.

(Developing internal strength is also an exercise in focusing the mind, in developing the intention to pay attention to increasingly finer levels of detail. As a byproduct, as I refine my structure, that is, as I pay attention to finer and finer details, I then begin to see where others are but only to the level of where I am. I cannot see in others what I have not yet developed or let go of in myself.

From a teacher-student perspective, the level of detail of the adjustments your instructor makes to advanced students may be a indication of the level to which your instructor has developed him/herself and is willing to share. For example, in Wujifa zhan zhuang class, my instructor can give me adjustments that are not visibly perceptible to me; there is no "external" movement. These adjustments feel like a change of a millimeter or two - an adjustment that results in a muscle relaxing a bit more which results in more sinking and connection. At other times, the adjustment feels more like an adjustment of intention - "Extend through this finger" - which results in a feeling of improved connection. Very subtle stuff!

For a teacher to be able to help or guide a student develop this level of connection requires not only the teacher to have developed to that level but to also be able to connect with the student to guide the student to that level.

How rare it is to find a treasure such as this!)

* Question: How do I find, see, and exploit opportunity in stance? It seems like problems and opportunities are two sides of the same coin. You see the same thing but differently, right?

Answer: What do you feel? Don't go through the brain looking for some words. There are no words. The nerves are firing. You're getting unpatterned neural input. What is the sensory input you're feeling?

When you focus on a problem, you miss the opportunity of feeling something else elsewhere. For example, focusing on the problem of tight shoulders, you miss the opportunity to notice that your lower back is also tight and not relaxed.

* Question: Why don't you like using breathing imagery, for example, inhaling and feeling the body filling like a balloon?

Answer: It depends on the person. The feeling you describe can be achieved with tension. So this is not a good method for the tense person. However after you relax, then this could be an OK method. This method elicits only one kind of feeling.

* Question: A lot of times, stance practice is between difficult and just plain sucks. What's a good way to end these kinds of practice sessions?

Answer: If you end stance practice with "this sucks" then the next time you'll have less motivation because all you remember from the last time was "this sucks". So at the end of each stance session, finish with, "I really enjoyed today. I look forward to next time." The "I look forward to" creates a bridge.

* Question: When we do the closing circles after stance, is this dan-tian rotation?

Answer: Dan-tian rotation is an advanced practice. You do not get dan-tian rotation by thinking, imaging, forcing or in any way trying to rotate your dan-tian. The dan-tian rotates as a byproduct of doing dan-tian rotation exercises. You first must achieve a deep level of relaxation. Do the exercise and notice what you feel.

(I think of the analogy of a nut and bolt rusted together. If I try to force the nut to turn, it won't. If I focus on soaking it with oil, applying some heat, tapping here and there, then slowly, over time, the rust that binds these together loosens which will allow the nut to turn.

I remember when I first heard of rotating the dan-tian and I imitated the external mechanics I was seeing. My chronic muscular tension - the rust - prohibited any dan-tian movement whatsoever. And yet, I still thought I was rotating my dan-tian.

Beginning or amateur level practitioners who say they are rotating their dan-tians are probably fooling themselves. Believing you are doing a high-level practice when you haven't first "worked out the rust" is an example of not knowing where you are in your practice.

You are where you are and that's where you start.)

* Question: What's the whole "eating bitter" thing all about?

Answer: The whole point of "eating bitter" is that you come to enjoy and appreciate what the bitter experience will result in. The point is NOT to be proud of being able to "eat bitter" for the sake of it, nor to look for something bitter to eat.

(Some people who are proud of their ability to "eat bitter" may get stuck in dysfunctional practices, situations or relations because they've flipped "eating bitter" on its head and mislabeled it as a virtue: dedication, loyalty, or faithfulness.

It can take quite a bit of work to examine and figure out your own what's-really-going-on stuff. And then, to be able to accept that what you've been holding on to as a virtue may have been an illusion of sorts.

GongFu is hard work on many different levels but they're all connected!)

* Question: What's the relation between the kua and "tucking under"?

Answer: Tucking under results in the kua popping out (forward). It's all about the kua. Keep the kua closed in stance. In and down. Relax the lower back.

* Question: Where should I look while standing?

Answer: Some say to look into the distance and focus on something far away. But this may keep you focused out of your body and not feeling.

Some say to close your eyes. But this may result in daydreaming and getting lost in thought. Again, focused out of your body and not feeling.

Some say to look outward while looking inward. But relying on this paradox without providing a more substantial, functional instruction may also result in your focusing where ever your mind habitually wanders.

In Wujifa, where to look depends on the individual's patterns and habits.

(Sometimes, one of the above is the functional "medicine" for a student and sometimes not.

In public seminars or classes, even if the teacher has the ability to suggest a different "where to look" for each attendee, to do so may not be practical in this setting.

However, I would think that in ongoing classes with long-term, advanced students, if the teacher defaults to one of the above for everyone then this might suggest that the teacher cannot see or connect with individual student's patterns at deeper levels to recommend something specific to that person at that time.)

* Question: Many martial arts emphasize gazing at the hand. Why?

Answer: To develop the habit of connecting the intention going where the hand goes. Then after much practice, the hand goes where the intention goes.

(Remember, the method is not the truth. Once you get the feeling, then you no longer need to adhere to the method that elicited that feeling - go straight to the feeling! Connect intention and body through feeling.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Keep the Plates Spinning: Journal Notes #65
Next article in this series: Feeling and Data: Journal Notes #67

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Keep the Plates Spinning: Journal Notes #65

2011-11-14T10:15:00.006-05:00

Notes from my March 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Think of the circus act of the plates spinning on a stick. Keeping all the plates spinning keeps you stuck because there is an effort involved and a consequence if the plates stop spinning. Being a Polly Anna, "Oh, how wonderful! Look at all these spinning plates!" is dysfunctional. She doesn't see how she's stuck. Not seeing how she's stuck, she can't begin to imagine how to let go.

(Practicing Wujia zhan zhuang over a period of time helped me identify where I was "spinning plates", where I had holding patterns, both kinesthetically in terms of muscle tension and in terms of everyday life patterns.)

* Question: If you have a lot of plates spinning, do you let them all crash or take them down one at a time?

Answer: That's up to you. Kinesthetically, bodies tend to unwind slowly which is like taking a plate down one at a time though some changes can feel like a plate crashing.

* Question: We talk a lot about simply "noticing". What do I do with what I notice?

Answer: Noticing leads to application. Do something with what you notice. See the big picture. Look for small opportunities first all the while moving towards the bigger vision. Work on the small opportunities. Apply activity to opportunity. What you notice that is not going toward your vision, may need some effort. Do something.

(Many small and incremental changes over time lead to large results. Patience and perseverance is a key characteristic.

The guy who's spinning the plates thinks he's persevering. In this case, he should just let the plates crash. This is different from the guy who wants something else besides spinning plates. The feeling of the guy who's persevering in pursuing what he loves is very different from the guy who's persevering just to keep life together.

One uses patience and perseverance to get through something, the other uses it to stay locked in.

The whole point is to choose between whether you want to be driven by intention or by externals.)

* Question: So say I notice a tension here. I want to make that relax. Is this what you mean?

Answer: It's not about trying to force something to happen. This creates dysfunction. It's about relaxing and allowing.

* It's OK.

* I see you.

(Practicing Wujifa Zhan Zhuang over a period of time has a way of taking down the spinning plates so the audience then gets to shift focus from the spinning plates to see the real person who kept the plates spinning.)

* Question: I've had some experiences recently with feeling opening. Should I focus on finding opening or on connecting and grounding?

Answer: The goal in stance is to connect and ground. Opening is a by-product.

* Question: Why is stance so difficult? Why does stance take so much energy?

Answer: It takes energy to keep things closed. If you are connected and grounded, then the energy flows through easily. It's not about trying to open but about allowing yourself to relax and connect. The difficulty you notice is your resistance to letting go.

* Question: Why don't I allow myself to relax and connect?

Answer: Fears. Habits. Patterns. Stance is a small chunk of life. The fears you notice in stance are the same fears you have in everyday life. Build in new habits for energy to flow through.

* Question: Is intention functional?

Answer: How you choose to engage your intention is what determines whether your use of intention is functional or not.

* Question: How do I get "person x" to connect with me?

Answer: You can't force another person to connect with you. You must connect with yourself first and then you will know how to connect with another.

* It's best to be flexible to be able to shift between moving toward what you do want and away from what you don't want. A functional mix is about 80% Toward (what you want) and 20% Away (from what you don't want). However, many people you meet have a mix of 99% Away and 1% Toward.

* Question: What's an easy method for me to know what's Toward or Away?

Answer: What's your favorite meal? "Steak". Your answer was frank and natural. There was no judgement. If you notice judgement, then that's Away.

* Don't make the feeling into a method. Any practice when done routinely can become a method. In stance, find another area to play and notice what happens. If you routinely focus on relaxing the shoulders, then change it up and relax the belly and notice what happens in the shoulders. When one part moves, all parts (should) move and you should notice this too.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Zhan Zhuang Medicine: Journal Notes #64
Next article in this series: Connecting Intention and Body: Journal Notes #66

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Tai Chi Teacher Certification Pros and Cons

2011-11-09T23:00:00.002-05:00

What is the value of a certification to teach Tai chi? Let's look at some pros and cons of Tai Chi teacher certification.

I was recently asked to teach a Tai Chi class for a fitness program. In my interview with the program director and another Tai Chi expert from China, I demonstrated my old Tai Chi form which I amped up by incorporating my Wujifa skillset.

After my performance, the director asked me if I had any certifications. "Well, not with me." Luckily, the other interviewer, the Tai Chi expert, told her my Tai Chi was "professional level". And I got the job.

This experience raised a curious question for me. My skill is recognized as being professional level by an expert and yet I appeared questionable to the unknowing because I didn't have a certification.

As you may or may not know, the American Tai Chi and Qigong Association (ATCQA) offers independent, "third-party" certifications of Tai Chi teachers.

ATCQA Tai Chi Certification is not affiliated with any particular school, program, style or lineage. ATCQA provides independent accreditation of Tai Chi practitioners and schools.

Outside of the ATCQA, I'm not aware of any other independent third party certifying organizations. Email me if you know of any. I'm curious.

Without a standardized, independent certification system, comparing Tai Chi teaching certificates from any of the many Tai Chi and Kung Fu schools is like comparing apples and oranges. There's no basis for comparison. That said, I do think certificates from these schools or organizations serve a purpose of providing a level of credibility to the unknowing such as I encountered in that interview.

Once upon a time, I was teaching Tai Chi at an Adult Education class. The following semester I learned that one of my students who was a first time learner, was now teaching Tai Chi at another club. So surely certifications serve to protect both the teacher/school (No, that person is not certified to teach my material.) as well as protect the unknowing public from such learn-one, do-one, teach-one hucksters.

Unlike American public high schools and colleges where the entire school is certified or accredited by a third-party organization, when it comes to Tai chi schools, the only accreditation the school proper has is the certificate of the teacher from his/her teacher. To me, this is the same as no accreditation.

I recently saw one school's website which posted an extensive list of apparently every training certificate the teacher had accumulated. I think this is how certificates can be abused to mislead the unknowing. Breadth of attendance at seminars does not necessarily translate into depth of ability.

There are also many who claim to be part of a "lineage" which I do not consider to be a certification but rather a setting of an expectation. Advertising one's lineage may impress the unknowing, however, in itself, one's lineage is not an assessment of one's skill level. I used to belong to the camp that valued one's Tai Chi lineage until I woke up to this dark truth about the lineage claimers.

For me, the central question regarding Tai Chi teacher certification is, "Certified at what level to teach Tai Chi at what level?"

Even though a certified and lineaged Tai Chi teacher may have a long-standing, reputable and profitable Tai Chi school, and may have published books and videos on Tai Chi, and may have even won Tai Chi push hands and/or sparring competitions, and may have enough certificates to wallpaper a lavatory, this does not in itself mean that s/he can demonstrate or teach internal strength skills and full body connection which I consider to be the hallmark of real Tai Chi.

It happens that long-time certified teachers remain stuck at an amateur level and their advanced students remain stuck at the same level no matter how advanced they are in that teacher's system. On the other hand, a certified teacher may be "professional level" and provide advanced students higher level instruction and yet, according to the current ACTQA criteria, these two certified instructors could appear to be equal.

I applaud the efforts of the ATCQA and all involved to establish a baseline, third-party certification. However, a huge downside for me is that their certifying criteria (as of this writing) is based solely on counting hours in training or teaching and counting reference letters. There is absolutely no criteria involving an independent exam of academic knowledge nor assessment of skill level in specific skill sets.

I would like to see certification levels that get beyond counting hours and reference letters and gets into distinguishing functional skill levels such as:

Demonstrated skill in sinking/dropping.
Demonstrated skill in whole-body connection; internal strength.

I think by establishing certification levels based on functional skills would help distinguish teachers from masters and could provide a training path for those teachers who want to advance to master class certification.

However, there are probably issues to resolve like, finding the rare individual who has whole-body connection/internal strength and who would participate in assessing those interested in advanced certification.

And then too, there is probably little interest in establishing a certification level based on skill level because many "masters" may find themselves demoted to advanced teacher status.

What are your thoughts on the pros and cons of certifying Tai Chi teachers? What do you consider to be essential skill sets? How would you test and distinguish skill levels in these skill sets? I'd love to hear from you.

Zhan Zhuang Medicine: Journal Notes #64

2011-11-07T10:00:00.060-05:00

Notes from my February 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: What's the relation between "sung" and "peng" in zhan zhuang?

Answer: In Wujifa we say,"Relaxed is not limp". This is another way to say, maintain "peng". "Sung" is "peng" without connection. Relax first to get "sung" then find "peng". Once you get "peng" then you are not limp and you have connection.

(In the distant past when I read about "bottom heavy", "top light", "sung" and "peng", I developed concepts about what these were and I thought I manifested these kinesthetics based on my conceptual understanding. This is probably a typical process for beginners' first encounter with Tai Chi. However, as it turns out, I was wrong on all accounts.

My experience with training Wujifa zhan zhuang taught me that only through and first feeling the feeling of bottom heavy that in contrast and equal proportion I could say that the top felt light in comparison. (This was a radically different experience from my initial imagine hanging from a string - top light - and imagine roots growing out my feet - bottom heavy!)

"Peng" is like an On-Off switch. Either you have full-body connection or you don't. Once you have full-body connection, then you've put your foot through the door and then you can have variations of how well refined full-body connection can become.

The medicine I talk about later is to help refine connection.

As with top light, bottom heavy, it is only to the extent to which I feel "sung" that in contrast and equal proportion, I am able to feel "peng".

From my experience, I was not kinesthetically prepared to feel sung or peng until I first experienced bottom heavy.)

* Question: What do I need to do to improve or change my push hands style?

Answer: Push hands is a game of frame control. You have to learn to maintain your own frame. Adjust your frame through your arm vs. adjusting to my frame through my arm. You were taught and learned push hands all wrong. You learned that relaxed and yielding means being a limp noodle. What you built in needs to be retrained.

* Question: What's the relation between practicing presence and internal strength?

Answer: When do you notice stuff in your body? Now. So if you can be more present, then you can notice more in your body.

* I learned a lot of different forms and I got stuck on refining the aesthetics and applications of the form but I never developed the feeling of sinking and connectedness that I'm developing now and so I realize now that my forms lacked power. I now understand that it's better to train to get the feeling first.

* Question: I can feel across my shoulders and I can feel my lower back but I can't feel the space between my shoulders and my lower back. How can I connect the two?

Answer: First, get the hump out of the top just below where you're feeling. Then arch your back. You may first feel your butt arch out and lower back tighten. Then get the upper back straight and relax the lower back and drop the butt.

(Here's an example of a method or "medicine" for me based on my question, my structure and how best to work with me and my musculo-structural patterning to achieve the feeling I'm trying to figure out how to get.)

* Stood for 1 & 1/2 hours in class today! It's amazing how much longer I can stand at class where time seems to fly by as compared to standing at home where time seems to creep by.

(Here's one example of a stance adjustment I received in one class. Everyone in class gets a different kind of adjustment which works on the particular patterning s/he presents in their zhan zhuang. In other classes, I have received different adjustments or "medicines".

If you have been reading my blog and the Wujifa blog you have read about methods as a "medicine":

"Methods are much like a medicine and can assist or hinder one’s progress depending on the usage of various methods and when they are used."

The "medicine" I got in this Feb 23, 2009 class addressed a particular structural deficiency of mine, mainly, my tendency to hunch and what I would call being humble which could also be called a lack of having a proud or cocky spirit. So this particular "medicine" aimed to "raise my spirit" through a particular structural adjustment.

Once I got the feeling of the proud, cocky feeling, an aspect of the "raise the spirit" feeling, then I could structurally relax the chest and evoke the feeling pretty much at will. This is an example of what is meant by: The method is not the truth. Once you get the feeling, get rid of the method.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Goals and Questions: Journal Notes #63
Next article in this series: Keep the Plates Spinning: Journal Notes #65

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Goals and Questions: Journal Notes #63

2011-10-31T10:00:00.033-04:00

Notes from my January 2009 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* In the first Wujifa class of the new year, we did a goal achieving exercise. In this class we focused on noticing various feelings and feeling states. This was different from other "goal exercises" I remember doing in college and at work where the focus was on data: what's your goal and what are the steps you have to take to get there.

The method used in Wujifa class was to draw a picture of my goal on a piece of paper, then tape the picture to the wall, step several paces away from it, then turn and face my goal. How do you feel seeing your goal so far away? Now take a step closer. How do you feel now? Repeat these steps getting closer... closer... closer... then when within reach, grab it! Now how do you feel having reached your goal?

Then I did a variation of this exercise. I taped the picture to the wall and then stepped several paces away from it, then turned and faced my goal. This time however, classmates imposed obstacles on my "journey" to my goal. Notice your feeling when an obstacle comes between you and goal. Play with various methods to remove or overcome your obstacle, for example, ask for assistance (How do you feel when asking for help?), or use other methods available to you (How do you feel using new methods you may have never used before?).

What I learned from this exercise is that I habitually approach goals with the same feeling or from the same feeling state. When I watched my school brothers do this, I experienced and learned that others approach goal achieving and obstacle-overcoming with different feeling and from different feeling states which gave me some insights, for example, how locked-in I am to one way of doing things and how little I'm aware of or able to express my feeling. Also, when I encounter an obstacle, if the first couple attempts to surmount it don't work, I then quit my attempt to achieve it using a rationalization: "It doesn't matter.", "Who cares.", or "I guess I'm not meant to get it after all."

(Now, almost three years later, I had completely forgotten this exercise and what I wrote about that class. But have those lessons stuck with me? Sorry to say, but I don't think so. I'm running into a long-standing obstacle again, however, this time, my approach is different. I'm taking more "ownership" of the obstacle-overcoming method I'm working with this time which in itself is also difficult for me because the underlying feeling has become more tangible: fear! And I'm noticing how the tension between the wanting the goal and the fear shows up in my body as... Guess what? Muscular holding and tension: armoring!

The goal of letting go can involve so much more than simply noticing a tense muscle and relaxing it. Sometimes, letting go involves not holding back on saying or doing certain things. Initially, I didn't even know why I was holding but the more I work there, the more I learn how deeply ingrained family, society, cultural lessons created boundaries or patterns. What I discover when playing on the edge of those boundaries is a less obvious and more subtle form of fear.

What I'm noticing is that holding back to satisfy some idea, to not go through a fear is fueled by an underlying intention to control and hold. So I'm thinking now that real SUNG is fueled by a deeper underlying intention of letting go and not an underlying intention of control and holding. "Relax" is more a global state of "mind" than a localized, compartmentalized experience.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about. Take a quick look at this set of clips from the October 25th Dr. Oz show (an ABC network TV show); The Secrets Your Man Is Keeping. This entire five secret segment is about 20 minutes long.

If I am like many people, then I think many people may relax to a certain level that is within their "comfort zone". They never realize why they are only relaxing to a certain level; relaxing within the boundaries of their established patterns. They'll relax to the point they encounter the fear and then stop relaxing. To get to the deeper levels of SUNG I think requires more work than many people are willing to get into.

In the Wujifa class above, my "rationalization" was a way for me to avoid addressing and working through a fear that I couldn't even identify as a fear at that time. Of course, this is not a global attitude but rather an attitude isolated to specific areas of living.

Goals. Fears. Control. Holding. Letting go. Relaxing. Opening. Goals.)

* In another class, we explored the source feeling state of questions. (Wujifa classes are based on students' questions.)

Questions may be asked from a conceptual and mechanistic point of view which is largely devoid of the genuine feeling of curiosity. In this case, the question usually arises from a problem viewed as mechanistic in nature, for example when I ask, "I've been playing with getting the combined feelings of dropping, sliding knees forward, and bowing as one movement. How does this look? How can I get more weight in the legs?"

I frame the problem mechanically and even though the "feeling" word is involved, the question is based on and rooted in mechanics and concepts and is asked in a way that is devoid of feeling.

Instructor: Try this. Enter the state of genuine feeling of curiosity, the beginner's mind. Play with being a child encountering the world for the first time: What's that? Why? How come?

Me: OK. I'm curious... What do you mean by feeling more weight in the legs? What's that mean? How do I do that? How do I feel more weight in my legs?

Instructor: Can you feel the difference when you ask the question with a more genuine feeling of curiosity?

Me: Yes, I feel an internal shift between these two states, the latter feeling more alive and present than the former.

(I'm noticing now that I'm alternating between being holding/controlling and being more open/authentic. So maybe this is a phase for me. I notice that when I pull back into my controlling/holding patterns, that I'm comparatively dull and mechanical and I can't notice these subtleties in others. However, when I'm in my more open/authentic un-pattern, then it's much easier for me to notice these subtleties in others.

As I've said in other posts, I can only notice in others to the level at which I've developed in myself, which for me means, letting go even more...)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Mind-full-ness and Zoning Out: Journal Notes #62
Next article in this series: Zhan Zhuang Medicine: Journal Notes #64

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Mind-full-ness and Zoning Out: Journal Notes #62

2011-10-24T10:00:00.018-04:00

Notes from my December 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* When I am injured either physically (sprained ankle) or emotionally (some life event), my body responds similarly to both types of events. In the first case, "scar tissue" develops. In the second case, "armoring" develops. However, I notice that I respond differently to each. In the first case, I become more mindful of my body. I notice a function and an impaired function. In the second case, I'm completely unaware of the changes in functionality especially if the "injury" occurs slowly over time. Yet both "scar tissue" and "armoring" alter the original, free-flowing (qi) feeling and over time these injuries become me and are completely hidden from my attention. I think these blocked areas become part of the "me" that is paying attention to "me".

(Part of the more subtle and refined work in stance is to discover and feel these areas that are "hidden" and not readily and easily able to be dis-covered and felt. When I encounter scar tissue, I go to my Rolfer and he massages out the fascial adhesions which helps restore functionality. Encountering armor is a whole different story. It's more difficult for me to work through the armors and I can get stuck on one area for a long time; first denying there is an armor, second, accepting what's there, third deciding what to do, and fourth, acting.

Standing is easy. Real training is hard. Mastery is, well, stay tuned...)

* I'm learning how my unconscious life strategy is to compartmentalize life. For example, in case "A", I will strictly follow the rules. In case "B", I will playfully bend the rules. In case "C", another. This approach lacks wholeness. If I feel crappy in one compartment, then I'll move to another compartment to feel better. I'm not noticing a unifying, underlying principle.

* When I get adjustments in class, the person adjusting me requests feedback by asking, "How does that feel?" I'm still at a loss to describe what I'm feeling. It's like I don't have words for a feeling I never felt before and my brain simply freezes, or shuts down in the attempt to describe it.

* Notice the feeling behind the words. The words are the data. The real stuff is in the feeling.

(When making adjustments, "what" the practitioner says is less important than "how" s/he says it. The data is largely immaterial. What is more important is to listen for the emotional feeling charging the words. The feeling expressed is a good indicator of whether you are getting into touching an armor or not and the nature of the armor. Remember, scar tissue and armor are two sides of the same coin. Both are holding patterns that are not relaxed and need to be let go.

I think this is why real zhan zhuang is so tough and so few people take it to this level. It's like I heard long ago... Many people come to the table, a few will nibble around the edges, sample this, sample that, and fewer still actually partake of the entire meal. I didn't understand this when I heard it. I understand this completely differently now.)

* Question: My response to honest authentic feeling during stance is to zone out - to essentially disembody myself, to psychically disconnect. I know this doesn't serve me when I'm suppose to be focused on developing my feeling-ability. So why do I do this? Why do I "zone out"?

Answer: Zoning out in stance is a form of psychic armor to not feel too much too soon. Zoning out cuts off consciousness from feeling. Zoning out is akin to dead post stance. When you zone out, then you don't have to own the feeling.

* Question: I'm playing with the feeling of what I see in the stance picture; the feeling of sinking down and back and "launching" up and forward. But I freak out after a couple minutes and the monkey mind says, "That's enough." and I quit feeling. What's going on?

Answer: Sounds like you're about to make a breakthrough. Push through it.

(My pattern is I tend to hold back and need to be pushed. Others push ahead and need to be restrained. Different patterns. )

* One kind of "peripheral vision" is to focus on the feeling of generalizing your attention. See the periphery and notice the associated feeling. Then stay with the feeling and focus the eyes.

* I'm noticing that when I massage/relax the tension in my neck, that my lower back relaxes a little more.

* How does this contribute to you? How does any of this serve you? Can you find how something here applies and anchor it back into you and your practice?

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Beyond the Monkey Mind: Journal Notes #61
Next article in this series: Goals and Questions: Journal Notes #63

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Beyond the Monkey Mind: Journal Notes #61

2011-10-17T10:00:00.024-04:00

Notes from my November 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: I think I'm finding layers of monkey mind. Beneath the voice-in-the-head, I'm noticing a constant churning of feeling/emotion. Have you noticed this in yourself?

Answer: Finding layers is the monkey mind at work. Remember the story of the Taoist monk who goes into the jungle to meditate... While sitting in meditation, a monkey begins throwing sticks, then fruit, then turds at the monk. The monk gets frustrated and wants to kill the monkey but isn't able to catch it. Then he decides to ignore the monkey and as a result, he becomes robotic in his practice, shutting himself off from his surrounding environment.

The monkey mind can be a distraction AND it can be a teacher and provide insights. There are no layers. The monkey mind is the small intention. Emotions, the "feel like having or doing", are the large intention. Harmonize and align the small intention and the large intention.

When the monkey mind feels threatened it will "armor" the body, meaning, the muscles will tense which inhibits the free flow of feeling and qi.

* Question: I can't find that open feeling in stance when I practice at home. But I get it when you adjust my posture here in class. What's the main point that would help me find it?

Answer: This is the paradox: You have to let go of your armoring that you can't notice. People can't notice their own armors. Letting go is also difficult because of the way you armor. As soon as you build a charge in one area, then you shift an armor to not feel that charge. In your case, and this is common, your shoulders are soft on the surface but you hide your tension below the surface in the deeper layers of muscle which even you can feel with your fingers are hard as steel.

* Mike, notice how you use your language. Your words reveal your underlying attitude. The tone of voice reveals the underlying emotion. In your case, it sounds like you are coming from lack: "I can't feel..." and "How can I get...?". What happens if you change your language? Remember how you played at the 20/20 seminar a few years ago...

* Ambiguity and generality allow deeper insights to show up. Let it be OK for something to show up. This creates space. Judgment cuts off space.

* Question: We've talked about how thankfulness, appreciation, and gratitude all contribute to creating an opening feeling. But I equate being thankful with getting something I wanted. How can I be thankful for getting something I didn't ask for like noticing something in stance?

Answer: There is external and internal thankfulness. External is for things and situations. Internal is for noticing and feeling. How can I be thankful....

* Question: I still don't understand what the "open" feeling has to do with internal strength. What's the relation between the open-present feeling and internal strength?

Answer: A baby is open and in growing up, slowly shuts down/armors. Stance and bio-work aim to dissolve and release the armoring to reclaim that original open feeling. Once you are open, then you harness intention to practice extending and expanding. Internal strength is in the extending and not in contracting which is armor. It's difficult to extend when the body is locked in contraction. Open allows the Qi to flow, allows "Peng" in all directions.

* Question: In push-hands, how can I connect with another person without losing my grounding?

Answer: Be aware of your internal. Notice their external. Do this until "we" show up. Move back and forth between the two.

* Over the past two weeks of practice I noticed a few different feeling "states":

Present: Here, now, connected.
Here but cutoff, not connected.
Spaced out, not connected, trance-like.

Question: I still spend a lot of stance practice time kind of "out there". How can I resolve this?

Answer: You see how stance is the same way you experience your body on a daily basis. To avoid stance trance, look down at your heart. Keep the head up but roll the eyes down. When your eyes wander up, you're spacing out and losing presence. When the eyes roll up and the gaze seems distant, this can indicate the mind is making pictures, imagining something, and is generally cut off from the body. When the eyes stare straight forward, without that spark or twinkle of life, this is trance. Consciously placing the focus of the eyes at a point on the body helps maintain and build connection to the body.

(I've learned different practices over the years regarding where to focus with the eyes. What I've learned is that the above was a medicine for me at that time. I've heard my Wujifa teacher tell different students specific things to do with their eyes. There are many places the eyes can be focused. It depends who you are and what you're working with at the time.)

* Question: I notice that I tend to space out when confronted with a feeling kind of question where I don't have an established academic answer. What's up with this?

Answer: Your ability to answer initially from feeling is armored. Your pattern is to go to data. You're becoming aware of where you are armored.

* Question: Is there a way to use breathing to calm down and relax in stance?

Answer: Breathe slowly and naturally without forcing slow and natural. Breath in five counts and out five counts. Slow deep breathing induces alpha brain-waves which help relax the body, and in turn, your breathing naturally slows and relaxes as your body relaxes.

* I notice when I feel my elbows relax, then my torso relaxes. That's interesting.

* Feeling is a fruit of practice. Don't strive to achieve yesterday's fruit. Always look for the newer, fresher, riper fruit.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Internal vs External Martial Arts: Journal Notes #60
Next article in this series: Mind-full-ness and Zoning Out: Journal Notes #62

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Internal vs External Martial Arts: Journal Notes #60

2011-10-10T09:50:00.002-04:00

Notes from my October 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang.. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: I've heard you mention that a lot of Tai-chi is done externally. But Tai-chi is an internal martial art. So what do you mean by internal and external?

Answer: Practices such as Tai-chi, Bagua and Xing-yi are known as internal martial arts but in fact, these are most often learned and practiced the same as all other external martial arts.

Comparison of Internal (Wujifa) and External Practices
Internal	External
You form your own mold	You force yourself into someone else's mold
Change yourself from the inside	Change yourself from the outside
Practice cannot be isolated to the level of physical activity	Practice is isolated to the level of physical activity
Practice involves changing unexpected and unforeseen personality traits	Practice may develop expected personality traits like calm, confidence, assertiveness
Principle oriented	Technique oriented
Grounds and relaxes you over time	Burns you out over time
Techniques are demonstrated to point out possibilities of applying principles	Techniques are taught as an end in itself
Techniques are diffused by changing intention/position	Technique "B" is used to counter technique "A"
Fascial and tendon strength oriented	Muscular strength oriented
Speed and strength developed from being loose and pliable (relaxed) yet connected	Speed and strength developed from muscular reflexes
You make your own discoveries. You own the discovery.	You wear others' discoveries.
You own the periodic table. You learn to combine elements.	You develop the results of others' combinations of the periodic table.
Instructors point out what you are not yet able to notice . You learn from yourself.	Instructors teach you what they know. You learn from the teacher.

(I've learned that it's not the name that makes a practice "internal" or external" but rather HOW any practice is taught and developed.

I've also come to realize that a practice is only "Internal" when it can be identified with ALL items in the "Internal" column. If some items from both the "Internal" and "External" columns are identified, then the practice is in fact "External".

As I look at this now, this could be a topic to further expand and clarify.)

* Question: You have mentioned sitting zhan zhuang and lying zhan zhuang. How do I do these?

Answer: Follow the same principles as standing zhan zhuang

* Question: What does relaxing have to do with the feeling of lengthening?

Answer The typical body is held in contraction. Relaxing creates lengthening. However, forcing a feeling of elongation without relaxing is illusory and temporary. Relax!

(Three years later, although I've changed a lot, I notice at deeper levels that I still have the tendency to want to muscularly force the elongation feeling instead of simply relaxing, letting go and noticing the elongation feeling.)

* Question: When I do any of the squatting moves like "Snake Creeps Down" or "Golden Chicken", I notice that my torso doesn't stay so vertical like I see others. I bend over a lot to keep my balance. If I didn't do that, then I'd fall backwards on my butt. Can you see what's going on in my body?

Answer: To get low, to correctly perform "snake creeps down", you need flexibility in ankles and hips. You need to release holding patterns in hips, knees, and ankles. You may also be holding in front or back of shin/calf.

One practice is to sit against a wall with the balls of your feet on a thick phone book or block of wood and then drop and roll out your butt. Cross your arms over your knees.

Don't focus on going physically lower because you will cheat to satisfy your ego. The priority is on noticing holding patterns and letting go which, when done correctly, will initially feel like going lower internally even if there is no visible external movement. Look for small, incremental changes over time.

(And I should add to this note, begin by aligning yourself using the 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4 points of Wujifa Zhan Zhuang alignment and only squat as far as you can while maintaining that structure. When you notice yourself starting to break structure, then that's where you need to work on letting go and relaxing. How do you figure out what and where you need to relax and let go? That's your internal gongfu.)

* Question: What's the relation between fascial stretch and Qi flow?

Answer A: Dixie cup and string. When there's no stretch, then there's no Qi flow. Need just the right amount of stretch.

(This analogy is referencing the elementary school science lesson where two paper cups are attached by a string and when the two cups are pulled to stretch the string just the right amount, then a person can speak into one cup and the other person can hear the voice in the other cup.)

Answer B: A little hose with lots of pressure can only spray so far. Getting more relax has the effect of creating a bigger hose. Initially, the energy doesn't fill the newly expanded hose but eventually it does. You won't notice energy flow soon after relaxing to a new level but as the energy increases to accommodate the larger hose size, then you notice energy flowing again. And repeat... Remember, noticing energy flow is a byproduct of practice. Focus on relaxing and enlarging the hose.

(One of my earlier stumbling blocks was in wanting to "feel the magic" and getting stuck on that. I had the idea that feeling energy flow was a one time "Off-On" proposition and that "cultivating Qi" was a way to turn "on" the feeling.

Now I think the whole cultivating Qi thing is not so much about turning on a feeling or responding to a lack, but rather, and more functionally, it's more about relaxing the antagonistic and chronic muscular tensions that block or restrict the free flow of energy that already exists as well as honing the intention.

Following the hose analogy, if my focus is to feel energy flow, then I'll be stuck at that small hose level when the point is to continuously relax to develop a bigger hose.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Feels Like Nothing: Journal Notes #59
Next article in this series: Beyond the Monkey Mind: Journal Notes #61

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Feels Like Nothing: Journal Notes #59

2011-10-03T10:00:00.033-04:00

Notes from my September 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: What does open feel like?

Answer: Open feels open. Open is its own feeling. It's similar to happy or joy but without a reason to be happy or joyful.

* Question: Whenever I get adjusted to just that right spot, like where I can ground a push without effort, it feels like I'm not using any muscular strength at all. Is that right to think that internal strength/connectedness feels like nothing?

Answer: We tend to match to stress and muscular tension and when we don't feel stress or tension, then we think we're not feeling anything. We never really re-learned how relaxed and open feels. We knew this feeling before we shut down to it. We subsequently learned to think of relax as being an activity and not as a combined emotional-kinesthetic quality. In those instances where you feel "nothing", try labeling that feeling as "relaxed and open".

* I had another amazing stance experience in class. I had an overwhelming feeling of being, present, connected and the struggle was to maintain this feeling, like, how much presence or openness can I tolerate? Very different feeling from the worried, "How long can my legs hold up?"

* Question: How am I ever going to remember all the detailed adjustments I need to get to that place where I feel open and present?

Answer: Instead of self-correcting with rules, trust and play.

(Three years later, I am still admonished to have a more playful attitude during practice; to "play" more. Be more open to being playful and not so serious.

This is another example of how one's everyday personality influences one's stance practice. Some people need to work more and others need to be more playful and others need... )

* Be open to being confused because in confusion you will learn something.

(This has been a difficult one for me because I don't like being confused. I like definite questions and definite answers. Ambiguity drives me crazy... though I am slowly coming to tolerate it... and understand the "why" of it.)

* Internal martial arts are about connections and developing, building connections, connectedness. Connect on different levels:

Feeling of connectedness within body - developing a functional structure.
Connecting with others through feeling.
Connecting to Be, Here, Now. Checked-in and not checked-out.

* I did a little more Bio work where I'm stretched backward over a specially padded stool. I could relax some, but my body would not fully go with the stretching and opening. As I stretched, I'd hit a spot where I resisted and tightened, then relaxed some more then resisted and tightened and repeated this cycle. Open and pull-back.

(I've noticed that this cycle of open and pull back plays out not only in a specific isolated exercise but also in my practice overall over time.)

* If you get it once, then you got it. It's in there. So even if you lose it, you know it will come back.

(Finding an instructor who can work with you to guide you to that experience is priceless! You may need to go through several instructors to get to the real deal. Ultimately, the work such as it was which led me to this "open and relaxed" feeling is only just beginning. Making real everyday life changes to integrate this particular stance experience into everyday life is apparently the key to really "getting it". It's taking me a while to understand and work through this stuff.)

* Three powerful words: "Noticing changes everything."

* Take the judgment out of noticing. Simply notice. Have the attitude of, "What a cool thing to notice!" and leave it at that.

* That which is noticing is not the same as the anger, frustration, and tension being noticed. The more time you spend noticing, the more "that" grows and reveals itself.

* Regarding the first Wujifa triangle, whichever two you are working on at whatever percent will reveal the third to that same percent.

* When teaching, pace yourself to the other's reality. Establish a kinesthetic repoire and then lead where you want them to go.

* Part of "calm down" is to breathe, ah... yes.... jiggle, shake it off.

* We were introduced to an exercise called the non-meditation. Simply sit and repeat this slowly as if sitting and talking with or enjoying time with a friend, "I ... don't ... understand ... yet ... I'm ... open." This is how meditation is supposed to be done. There is no goal. The mistake most meditators make is they think that they are working toward a goal. They frame their practice as "meditation" and fall into the trap of "These are the methods I should follow. This is how meditation is suppose to feel. These are the results I should get." etc...

(I ... don't ... understand ... yet ... I'm ... open... )

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Opening to Learn More: Journal Notes #58
Next article in this series: Internal vs External Martial Arts: Journal Notes #60

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Opening to Learn More: Journal Notes #58

2011-09-26T10:12:00.002-04:00

Notes from my August 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang.. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: After that amazing July 6 class, I went on vacation. I felt a joy in the silent tranquility of the woods that I can't remember ever experiencing before. Then when I returned home, I felt home to be very barren and distant. Why did I feel such an extraordinary difference this time?

Answer: Your openness allowed you to soak in the experience. You anchored yourself to the feeling in the woods and compared that to the feeling at home in the suburbs. When you're open, you notice. Use this same openness in noticing in your body. Soak it up.

* Question: I thought I had attained "the feeling" in the preceding July 6 Wujifa class and thought I had "something". So during a family get-together in early August, I pushed with my brother, a big construction-type guy, thinking I could demonstrate my new found "magic" but I couldn't push him. Why not?

Answer: Show me how he was standing.

Me: Like this. Back leg at 45 degree angle, body leaning slightly forward.

Answer: That's why. He was bracing. The brace is the strongest structure. Pushing into a brace is not the way to verify your internal connectedness.

Me: But I noticed my legs loading...

Answer: Show me what you did. OK. That's good but you are using contraction in your arms and not eccentric expansion.

Note: Then Rick adjusted my stance and arms and pushed and I easily withstood the push without feeling effort in arms.

Me: Wow! Very cool and... Argh! So frustrating!

Answer: Feeling frustrated is closing to opportunity. Stay open.

* Question: What do you mean "closing to opportunities"? How do I recognize opportunities in zhan zhuang stance practice?

Answer: A lot of analytical, data-type guys like yourself, work in the past. Data comes from what is passed. So to balance that, develop a sense of future. Anchor life events in the future and experience them arriving and passing. Practice completing the following phrase ten minutes/day: I'm looking forward to ______ . It's not important what you write, but that you write to develop those neural pathways, a sense of possibilities in the future.

* Question: Is this why I'm not making quicker progress? I'm not seeing opportunities to develop?

Answer: Opportunities are only in the future. Your approach has been to compare new experiences to past feelings, to match the present to the past, to force new experiences into an old box. This strategy/method works with a "teacher" who spoon feeds "students" but this method does not breed independence and self responsibility.

It is difficult to recognize opportunities and make discoveries without taking responsibility for your own growth. Are you noticing to put a new experience in a box to show the teacher? Are you noticing for an opportunity to discover to move out of the box to become your own teacher?

* Question: Why might someone avoid practicing zhan zhuang?

Answer: There are a couple reasons: The body may need to rest. Give it a rest when needed. Honor the body. And then there's the more common reasons of avoidance, fear, laziness, lack of focus.

* Question: Why don't you do regular Ta chi style push-hands?

Answer: Typical push hands forms have their place. However, paradoxically, they also keep you stuck at a certain level. You can't develop the internals from the way push hands is typically taught with large external movements.

* Question: So... can you develop internal connectedness from push hands and if so, how?

Answer: Reduce all movement to the smallest possible point of contact and play there. The "movement" then becomes about applying intention pressure on the point of contact or off the point of contact. We call this "point, off-point". It looks like two people standing still in an initial push-hands posture. There is no externally observable movement. The play occurs inside the body with micro-adjustments to pressure involving noticing and resolving breaks and sticky points in yourself to develop a better connection to ground and extending your feeling to notice and exploit breaks in "the other person".

* Question: So, are there ways to train point and off-point?

Answer: There are two roads in Wujifa push-hands:
Teach and learn all possible points.
Play with relaxed awareness.

* Question: With side-to-side, does the leg push or pull?

Answer: How many ways can you discover opening and closing the kua? Yes, both and neither. Stop trying to muscle it.

* Question: You guys have talked about teaching before. How do you approach teaching?

Answer: Distinguish between beginners and advanced and the kind of adjustments to suggest. For example, in a class of 10 or so, it's enough to stick with adjusting 1,2,3,4 ; 1,2,3,4. Give simple adjustments that give a sensation that awaken the person to their kinesthetics. Help the student discover for him/herself.

If you teach the data and you don't know the feeling, then students won't get the feeling. This is common.

If you teach the feeling and don't ground it kinesthetically, then students equate this with being spiritual, lofty, mystical. This too is common.

You need to teach both. Keep the feeling grounded. Many teachers don't have both and can't teach both.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Stance Is Life and Life Is Stance: Journal Notes #57
Next article in this series: Feels Like Nothing: Journal Notes #59

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

A Functional Understanding of Ti-Yong for Martial Arts and Wujifa

2011-09-24T22:00:00.006-04:00

If you don’t understand how your martial arts or Wujifa practice is functionally represented in the Ti-Yong (体用) structure, then you may have what we would call a mindless, monkey-see, monkey-do practice.

If you go to class week after week without knowing the relation between Ti-Yong and what you are learning, then don't be surprised if you ‘wake up’ one day and realize you went through the motions for five or ten years and didn’t achieve your original objective! I should know! I've been there! And someone you know may also be in this same boat!

And so, the goal of this article is to show you how to gain control of your own practice and gain deeper insights through the functional application of the Ti-Yong structure.

Specifically, we will look at the art of Wujifa through Ti-Yong to not only give you more clarity about Wujifa but to also give you an example of how you can apply this structure to your own practice.

But we can’t accomplish this goal if you simply read this article and say, “Oh, how interesting.” and move on. No! This material is meant to be chewed on and thought through. Keep these questions in mind as you read:

What are the elements of my martial arts practice?
How do these elements fit in the Ti-Yong structure?

Before continuing, take a moment and make a mental note of your answers to question 1 above. Got a few? Good. Don't worry about question 2 yet, we'll get to it.

Ti-Yong: A Little Background

Before we go any further, what exactly is Ti-Yong? A literal translation of Ti (体) is “body; form; style; system” and Yong (用) is translated as “use”. When talking about Ti and Yong together, the interpretation for Ti becomes “Essence or Substance”, and Yong gets interpreted as “Function or Practical Use”.

And so, functionally speaking, Ti-Yong is a structure that can be used to discover the Essence and Function or Substance and Use of something.

If you've read other articles about Ti-Yong, then you know that no one else explains how to apply this ancient Chinese structure to your martial arts practice! And if you've never heard of Ti-Yong before, I've provided a sample reading list at the end of this article if you want some superfluous data.

Let's be clear that Ti - Yong (tǐ ; 体 - yòng 用) is not the same as Yin - Yang (yīn ; 阴 – yáng ; 阳). Whereas Yin-Yang describes paired “oppositional” elements, Ti-Yong may describe for example the essence of Yin and how Yin functions or the essence of Yang and how Yang functions.

While the primary purpose of the use of ti-yong is in making distinctions, such distinctions are always made within the framework of an overall unity, and are not oppositional or disjunctive in character. ... Another way of putting this is to say that the ti and yong aspects of anything must by definition, be mutually contained, or "interpenetrated."

In my understanding, “interpenetrate” means to mutually penetrate, where each element is either comprised of or composes the other and when seen together, you get a deeper understanding of the whole. Such a deeper understanding is not attained when exclusively examining oppositional pairs of elements from a Yin-Yang perspective.

Many people tend to view their practice through a Yin-Yang view. What does this mean? For example, consider the few elements you identified from question #1 above. If you see these as distinct and you cannot readily identify how these elements interpenetrate each other, then you might be trapped in a Yin-Yang perspective.

How do you begin to see your practice through a Ti-Yong view? Well, that's what we're going to discuss here; how various and apparently “distinct” elements can be placed in the Ti-Yong structure to clarify their functional interpenetration.

Once you grasp how Ti-Yong (体用) structure can be functionally applied, then you have a very effective tool to evaluate and monitor whether your martial arts training is in-sync with your personal goals or not.

Ti-Yong Applied to Wujifa

The following chart shows you one way Wujifa elements can be applied in Ti-Yong structure. In addition to gaining greater clarity on Wujifa, you also begin to see from this example where and how elements of your practice fit in a functional Ti-Yong structure.

The Four Most Common Wujifa Elements
Ti ; 体	Yong ; 用	Personal Functional Application
Principles 原则 (yuán zé)	Rules 规则 (guī zé)	Principles can give rise to rules. A collection of rules “can” point to principles. (Not all rules will point you to principles but a principle will always point you to functional rules.)
Purpose 目的 (mù dì)	Practice 实践 (shí jiàn)	The purpose determines the practice. The collection of exercises and methods aims to help you understand the practice.
Truth 真理 (zhēn lǐ)	Method 办法 (bàn fǎ)	A functional method is a personally tailored exercise. The correct practice of the method can help reveal the essence that lies beyond the method. The truth is an “a-ha” moment. Something can be true at one level but not true at the next level.
Feeling 感觉 (gǎn jué)	Exercises 训练 (xùn liàn)	An exercise with a purpose employed to evoke a particular kinesthetic feeling or experience.

As you look at the chart above you see I've organized it by "layers"; Feeling-Exercise, Truth-Method, etc. In reality, each “layer” is also interpenetrated by any other “layer”. As you dig deeper into your own understanding, you begin to see how Principle and Purpose show up in Method and Exercise and vice-versa. The entire system functionally interpenetrates.

But for ease of explanation and to get you started, we will discuss each “layer” separately. Let's begin with the bottom “layer".

Ti-Yong: Feeling and Exercises

Beginners in Wujifa typically start with standard warm-up exercises. These exercises may look like commonly seen physical education exercises however in Wujifa, the exercises are performed to elicit a particular functional kinesthetic experience or feeling; a feeling of connectedness.

For example, the common “hip swivel” exercise when done as the Wujifa Hip Swivel exercise is done a particular way with the intention of noticing the feeling of connectedness from head to toe through fascial linking or what we call fascial stretch. The instructor looks for and points out breaks in that connection.

What are kinesthetic "breaks"?

Each individual has his/her own unique patterning of chronic muscular tension, muscular flaccidity, injury, scar tissue, etc. A “break” is a point or area of the body where one of these conditions prevents or disrupts the sense of connectedness. Some practitioners talk about “sticky points”. These begin as “breaks” that the practitioner is made aware of either through self-discovery or through the instructor pointing them out and the practitioner is working on resolving but does not yet feel a clear connection through.

As they continue practicing the same simple exercise, over time they become more conscious of the feeling of their patterns and their breaks and sticky points at deeper and finer levels.

Ti-Yong: Method and Truth

There are many different Wujifa exercises people can do. Even though beginners may each do the same exercises, for example, the Wujifa Hip Swivel exercise, any two bodies will not do the same exercise exactly the same way. The instructor will suggest ways for the practitioner to improve his/her performance of the exercise, hence, the exercise will become that individual’s personal method.

How are methods used?

Now, there are different ways that methods can be applied or used. A method can be used for discovering the feeling, or a method can be used for supporting and developing the feeling.

Some practitioners think that the feeling of connectedness will somehow spontaneously appear if they practice the method diligently enough and long enough. These people tend to “mindlessly” go through the motions of the method and don’t actively engage the method. As we talked about before, they turn the practice into the mindless monkey practice.

Other practitioners convince themselves that they are stuck. They will say, “What do I do next?” or “What should I do now?” These can be valid questions and the response may lead to further progress. However, sometimes their underlying or implied message is, “I don't really want to take ownership of my own training. Just tell me what to do.”

And even other practitioners encounter the intended feeling and then discard the feeling and fall back on and seek continued refuge in the method. This is not at all uncommon for people who may experience a new level of feeling for the first time which can sometimes feel uncomfortable, strange or different which they assume means “wrong” without getting verification.

Experiencing new levels of feeling can be intense and may threaten or in some way disrupt the practitioner’s usual level of feeling, which in fact may be more a level of lack-of-feeling. The challenge for the Wujifa teacher in this situation is to figure out how bring the practitioner back to the feeling in a way that allows integration of this kinesthetic feeling at a new level.

Because the new feeling has not become part of the repertoire of the daily kinesthetic experience, the newly discovered feeling tends to sporadically appear and disappear. The practitioner therefore can use the method to continually rediscover and help build-in the feeling. As the practitioner matures and grows in the practice, he/she learns how to use the method to help support and develop the feeling even further.

Through perseverance and practice, slowly the new feeling(s) gets built in. At some point, the practitioner will evoke or discover the feeling(s) on his/her own without the immediate assistance of a teacher. This “a-ha” moment reveals a deeper understanding of how one is able to find that feeling. This feeling-understanding becomes the Truth part of the Method-Truth "layer" in the chart above. The practitioner now has a deeper experiential and functional understanding of, “The method is not the truth. Once you get the feeling, get rid of the method.”

Success always makes obsolete the very behavior that achieved it. It always creates new realities. Peter Drucker

Once you "get it" and begin to nurture and grow the feeling, then in a reversal of the pattern of development so far, the feeling actually contributes to refining the method used to nurturing and growing itself.

As the essence of the feeling develops, this suggests or elicits a deeper practical application of a method to discover something deeper in the feeling, something more like the essence of feeling. Once you “get” the essence of feeling, you then leave that method and then your own personal deeper method may arise.

Advanced practitioners use the feeling to refine the feeling. If we break this down, the feeling refines the practitioner for the purpose of eliminating the method as a "separate" entity so there is only feeling refining feeling. A common Wujifa feeling that is refined is that of fascial connections and movement.

At this phase, the practitioner then develops a clearer understanding of what is involved in a practice and the purpose of their practice.

Ti-Yong: Purpose and Practice

In the beginning, the purpose determines the practice. With the guidance of an instructor, the collection of exercises and methods is your practice. As your understanding grows, your purpose changes and so does your practice.

A common question at Wujifa class is, “What is your purpose?” When asking this question to newcomers to Wujifa, the response is usually a dead silence. Sometimes re-asking the question as, “What do you want?” will then elicit a response such as, “I want to develop internal strength.”

I think there are a few reasons why “Purpose” is so hard to identify for so many people. For example, they’ve always been told what to do and rarely decide for themselves what to do. Another common reason is the fear of making mistakes or being wrong. In other cases, they feel a need to defend years of doing something differently and knowing they need to make a change deep inside. Sometimes people think they need a big, glorious purpose rather than having a more do-able purpose that is functional in the moment. These are just a few examples.

The question is not asking, “What is your overall purpose in life?” rather it is a way of asking, Why are you here in Wujifa class? What do you want to learn? What’s your reason for coming here, for training? What’s your purpose here and now?

Here’s a functional example of purpose and practice intertwining. Your purpose is to stand in zhan zhuang for 30 minutes. In your practice journal you record the results of your practice. When the results of your practice align with the intention of your purpose, then you know that your practice is on target.

Taking the same situation where your purpose is to stand in zhan zhuang for 30 minutes however, during your practice of standing 30 minutes you also practice getting the “burn” in your thighs. Is your practice in alignment with your purpose? No. Has your purpose changed? Yes. Now your purpose may be to feel the burn in your thighs for 15 minutes during a 30 minute stance practice session and you practice to achieve that purpose.

Defining or establishing a purpose helps you monitor if your practice is fulfilling your purpose. Now you are in the driver’s seat. You're not paying someone to take you on a carousel ride.

Ti-Yong: Principles and Rules

Principles can give rise to and point to “functional rules". By "functional rules" we mean rules that are well grounded in the principle of that method. We can say that a collection of functional rules can point to a principle. We need to remember that un-functional rules will not necessarily point to a principle. A good way of confirming the functionality of the rule you are using is to verify or test if it points to a principle.

An easy way to understand the functional relation between principles and rules could be borrowed from a concept in the martial arts regarding a collection of movements and forms. Some people may think of forms as simply a collection of various movements. Others may think of a form as a collection of techniques/applications. In Wujifa we look at forms as a function of intention and connection, dancing in harmony with the spirit of Ti-Yong.

You can spend years or decades learning various styles and forms and techniques and maybe even picking up a few black belts along the way. For some of these people, the rules become, "In this style we do things this way". However, underlying all these forms, techniques and applications are fundamental principles of movement and body mechanics. Some more advanced practitioners understand this.

When it comes to developing internal connectedness, the underlying principle is moving with a form of relaxed strength and being grounded. However, telling a beginner to do this may be far beyond his/her ability and so the beginner is given structurally based rules to follow, for example, stand in the Wujifa zhan zhuang alignment of 1,2,3,4 ;1,2,3,4.

Following these rules of structure over time will help the beginner notice the feeling of fascial pathways. Why? Because they arose from the principles of Wujifa Zhan Zhuang and point to the development of the principle of connection. The structure of the body in 1,2,3,4;1,2,3,4 when relaxed but not limp reveals the feeling of fascial stretch which the practitioner develops and links to help connect the body as a whole. At the point of developing full body connection, rules or methods like 1,2,3,4 can start to be bent to the extent of the skill of the practitioner, for example when pushing hands, as long as full body connection is maintained.

Conclusion

By looking at Wujifa through the eyes of the Ti-Yong structure as well as considering your own practice in this regard, hopefully you now have greater clarity into the whole Wujifa program as well as greater clarity into your own martial arts practice.

Here are some points to remember:

Once you experience the Ti (体) essence, you don't need to continue relying on a particular Yong (用) function that helped you notice the Ti (体).

Yong can be thought of as a necessary evil to help understand Ti. Think of Yong as a medicine that helps you get past an illness but if taken incorrectly can become a poison.

In reality, it’s better to not abuse Yong (用) and be very careful with its purpose. It’s too easy to develop a reliance or dependence on Yong as a medicine without seeking the underlying Ti (体).

Develop the Ti (体) that you experienced and it will continue to show up and begin to interpenetrate all your Yong (用).

Once you get the feeling, once you “get a feel for it”, then the methods that led you to that feeling are no longer needed. New and deeper truths and your own personal methods may be discovered.

As you develop a deeper understanding of your practice through a functional application of Ti-Yong, then you can begin to make real progress! I think this is what is meant by “taking ownership” or “taking responsibility” or “making it your own”. You evolve from a monkey-see, monkey-do, technical copy-cat into an artist.

You can take your practice to another level now. Learn and understand how your practice fits into a functional Ti-Yong (体用) structure. Stop feeding the mindless monkey!

Stance Is Life and Life Is Stance: Journal Notes #57

2011-09-19T10:00:00.047-04:00

Notes from my July 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* In today's July 6 Wujifa class, a beautiful sunny afternoon on the school's front porch, I hung around after the other students had left and I got some private stance instruction. After many subtle structural adjustments and coaching by my instructor, I experienced the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced in stance practice! It wasn't about weight sinking into my legs. It wasn't about feeling more kinesthetic connectedness. It was a completely different feeling. A very intense feeling! I don't know what to call it. Maybe it was Qi flowing but I call it a feeling of "presence". With each little adjustment the feeling increased. I was repeatedly saying, "I don't know how much presence I can tolerate!" With coaching, I stayed with it, awed and overwhelmed by the experience. Feels like my birthday into feeling.

* Question: After that amazing experience a couple weeks ago, I've really been enjoying standing for the sake of standing. An hour passes like mere minutes. I don't have any questions, mechanical, data or otherwise. After that experience, I don't even know what questions I should be asking. Where do I go with this?

Answer: Go stand. Focus attention on a far away point. Find a leaf on a tree then keep your awareness on feeling. The error is to put attention on an issue. Attention can draw in awareness. Keep a global awareness. Notice where you're holding, contracting, and not relaxing, then relax.

* Question: How do I replicate that feeling? How do I get it again?

Answer: There is no single "it" to "get". Consider the growth of a mustard seed. You don't look at the seed each week and say, "This is what a mustard seed is." You don't compartmentalize to that point in time and say, "This is what a mustard seed is." Once the seed starts growing, and you continue nurturing its growth, it is constantly changing.

Me: OK but that was so amazing, how do I make myself get that again?

Answer: It's not about forcing yourself. Don't label what you notice. Don't force a feeling into a concept.

Me: So what? Just let that pass as a really cool experience? Then what?

Answer: In stance, look for opening and in opening find connections. Instead of saying, "How do I replicate a previous feeling?", it's better to say, "How can I notice new areas and levels of feeling?" It's about staying focused and enjoying the confusion that comes with not labeling feelings and with not trying to go back to what you labeled.

Me: But if I had "it" and lost "it" that's bad. Shouldn't I always have "it" once I got "it"?

Answer: Getting the feeling and losing it is better than getting it and never losing it. In the latter case, if you ever lost it, you wouldn't know how to get it back. If you go through a cycle of your instructor helping you get it, then you lose it, and again, getting and losing, then you slowly learn how to get it on your own.

Me: But if I'm going to teach, shouldn't I really have it?

Answer: Those who struggle to get it make better teachers than those who get it naturally. The naturals don't know how to explain how to get it since it came so easy to them.

Me: So what's the best way to think about these kinds of experiences?

Answer: Whatever shows up during stance practice is a gift; the results of your watering the root, of nurturing life. It's the spirit of you showing up.

* Question: What's the difference between Connecting vs. Awareness?

Answer: You can be aware of your surroundings but you want to connect with your surroundings as well.

* Question: I'm still confused, how does noticing and feeling lead to internal strength?

Answer: Internal strength is the result of a particular application of intention. Focus noticing and feeling on finding and developing connection and expansion.

* Question: What's the relation between stance practice and everyday life and how does dead post stance figure into this?

Answer: Stance practice is where you take time to notice how deadened or alive you are and where you can take time to work on becoming more alive. If you are a dead post in some other area of your life, meaning where you are not fully present, where you are not being you, where you subjugate yourself to someone else, where you lead their idea of how you should live by adopting their values or foregoing your desires, where you live by rules instead of principles, then your stance is not fully alive either, your stance will have areas of numbness, flaccidity, or rigidity. You cannot compartmentalize your life. Stance is life. Life is stance.

(This is the darnedest thing to become aware of! As my Wujifa instructor points out areas of my musculature that are numb, flaccid or rigid, I begin to notice and distinguish these different muscular qualities which were previously invisible to me. Similarly, in my everyday life there are associated patterns of numbness and flaccidity and rigidity which contribute to forming who "I" am and which are equally invisible to me because those patterns are "me".

For me, making changes to enliven that numbness, strengthen that flaccidity, and relax that rigidity is comparatively easy when it comes to working on my musculature. However, it is more difficult for me (means I'm afraid) to work on changing similar patterns in my everyday life. I want to make changes and progress in stance AND yet hold onto and not change my everyday patterns. Resisting changing an everyday life pattern shows up as a pattern of resisting change and progress in stance practice. Attitudes from everyday life show up in stance training. Attitudes that are exhibited in stance training point to patterns in everyday life.)

* Question: What's the relation between hips and ankles?

Answer: Lack of flexibility in the hips can be traced to a lack of flexibility in the ankles. Do these three exercises to help open the ankles and stretch the calves.
Stand with balls of feet on a block of wood and heels on ground. Bend the knees.
Lay flat on back, legs perpendicular to the ground, straight up in air, then either wrap a strap over the balls of the feet and pull down or have someone push down on the balls of your feet.
Do the standard runner's stretch where you "push" on a wall.

* Question: How do I know if I have tension in my jaw?

Answer: To release tension in jaw, hold a wine cork between your teeth for 15 minutes. If this becomes intolerable after a minute or two, then you may have chronic tension in your jaw muscles.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Teaching Internal Strength: Journal Notes #56
Next article in this series: Opening to Learn More: Journal Notes #58

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Survey of Tai Chi Chuan in the United States

2011-09-13T16:00:00.002-04:00

You are invited to complete the online survey: Survey Measuring the Spread of Tai Chi in the United States. Your participation in this landmark survey should take less than 5-10 minutes to complete. This survey was opened on July 10, 2011 and will end on Dec 29, 2011.

This survey was designed by Mr. Jie Zhang as part of his Ph.D. research at the Beijing Sport University (北京体育大学). His major area of focus is Chinese Traditional Martial Arts: Theory and Practice.

I met Mr. Zhang this past summer at the University of Michigan where he is a scholar in residence. During his one year stay in the U.S., he is visiting martial arts schools and classes across the country interviewing masters, teachers and students.

If he receives over 1,000 unique survey responses from students and teachers in the USA, he may submit a summary article of the survey results to T'ai Chi Magazine for possible publication. Could be very interesting!

Be part of this project! Time is limited!

And... Let's help him spread the word to all the U.S. Tai Chi teachers and students! Share this survey link with friends through Twitter, email, Facebook, your website.

Take this Tai Chi survey now: Survey Measuring the Spread of Tai Chi in the United States. Be sure to click the "Submit - Finish Survey" button at the bottom of the survey when you finish.

Teaching Internal Strength: Journal Notes #56

2011-09-12T10:00:00.046-04:00

Notes from my June 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* The trick to teaching a functional connectedness is to get the student to feel, to embody, to be wholly present feeling in the body. To this end, Wujifa is inspired by bio-energetic exercises that recalibrate the focus of attention out of the head and into the body.

* The mistake many "soft" martial arts instructors teach is that the internal styles don't use muscle. Of course you use muscle or you couldn't stand or move. The point however is one of focus. Don't focus on the mechanical muscle movement of forms, techniques or applications. Don't focus on the feeling of a properly executed technique or application. Rather, focus on the feeling of your own kinesthetic connectedness while remaining present in your body. Don't fractionate, disassociate, split-off, space-out or go mystical.

* Some teachers teach the method of alternating tightening and relaxing the muscles to develop a sense of kinesthetic feeling. The problem with this method is that people get stuck in feeling tension and can't make the shift to feeling when relaxed.

(Wujifa training focuses of feeling connectedness when relaxed. For me, this has been difficult but the result is immediate without the transitional trap.)

* Teachers tend to teach the path they took, the way they learned. However, the path a person takes and subsequently teaches is not the right path for everyone. There is no one-size-fits-all path or training method. A teacher must be free and clear of tensions enough to be able to see each student's structure and then teach according to what the student presents. The way each student's body unwinds and the individual methods employed to aid that unwinding becomes that student's path and the teaching method for that individual student.

(From my experience, the Wujifa method of teaching reaches a level of personal involvement I have not experienced with other internal martial arts teachers. It's as if perceiving and responding to a student's unique physical and attitudinal patterns is the level at which functional suggestions can arise for individually tailored methods of training.

I think that many teachers haven't done enough work on themselves to really free their bodies of chronic tensional patterns and so they can't see the deeper tensional patterns in their students to be able to help their students notice to relax their tensional patterns.

While teachers who "learn one, do one, teach one" may be able to transmit gross muscle movements, I don't think that teachers who rely on this method are capable of helping students relax and develop feeling connectedness at deeper muscular levels.

I think this provides another perspective on the old question: How do you find a good internal strength teacher?)

* The only secret is what the student hasn't yet noticed in his/her own body. A teacher can only point out what the student isn't noticing. And so, a teacher has no secrets to reveal but is more a revealer of secrets.

* You may understand this intellectually but you don't "get it" until you feel it in your body.

* Focus on building the foundation (stance) and the rest of the building builds itself.

* The lessons seem contradictory to the thinking mind. After you feel it, then the contradictions resolve themselves in clarity and you realize that the contradiction was the best way to describe the feeling.

* People collect books to show others what they know. Those that know can read and see if the author knows what s/he professes knowing. The unknowing student reads with the hope of learning something... which they won't. The feeling cannot be learned by reading about it.

* Question: What does Chen Xiao-wang mean when he says, "When one part moves, all parts move."?

Answer: Another way to think about this is, when one part doesn't move, then some other part isn't moving either. You've got to get your body open and free of tensions to experience the feeling he describes.

* Did some bio-exercises in class today. One exercise had me laying on my back over a specially padded stool and stretching my arms over my head. I felt the front of chest opening and after that let go some, I felt the muscles on the inside, anterior of my spine stretching. I did this and some other exercises and seemed to be doing fine but then I "hit a wall". I just wouldn't allow myself to relax and open more. I think it's good that I'm noticing more at a feeling level. I'm not self-identifying with the tension, the rigidity even though that rigidity still took control of "me" in the end. I believe this is part of the process of opening, of letting go. Appreciate this. I want the joyful feeling of opening and I'm also afraid to completely let go of the rigidity me.

(For me, feeling comfortable and relaxing and feeling fear and holding on repeats over and over as each layer is peeled away; using the onion skin analogy. It's a personal process and many personality variables come into play.

If this really is a process and everyone on "the path" is engaging this process, then I think even accomplished internal masters must have their sticky points but because they are comparatively more relaxed and open than their students, their students don't notice where and what these are unless the teacher is open and honest about what she/he is working on.)

* Question: How does my side-to-side look?

Answer: You've still using "medicine" from an earlier time. You're focusing on stretching and opening the back. Your back is open enough now so stop using that medicine. Now, focus on the kua. You're learning to get the feeling of stretch on closing. Don't lean. Keep the top light, delicate, feel deeply into the kua. Feel the belly and leg come together. Focus on that feeling. Also, you still tend to stick the head forward. And when you pull the head back, the shoulders pull forward. Move the head and shoulders back in one move.

* Question: I've been enjoying standing the last two weeks. I've been feeling a vibrating in my torso various times, for example, as I fall asleep, upon waking, and occasionally throughout the day. How do I extend that vibrating into my arms and legs?

Answer: Notice that your question comes from a very different place than all your previous questions. You've made great progress in opening in the last few months.

Me: Yeah, I can feel but it took me so long.

Answer: Everyone is different. It's just how your body is unwinding. Like a knotted up wad of string. You work a long time on one knot and then suddenly the whole bunch of knots come undone.

Vibrating is good. This is the fruit. The Chinese would say the Qi is sinking into the dan tian. The body is coming alive.

Me: So is this what is meant by "vibrant health"?

Answer: All bodies vibrate. People usually don't feel it because of all their armoring.

Me: So how do I nurture this vibrating feeling?

Answer: Notice and be congruent with your bigger schema.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Backlash: Journal Notes #55
Next article in this series: Stance Is Life and Life Is Stance: Journal Notes #57

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Backlash: Journal Notes #55

2011-09-05T10:00:00.080-04:00

Notes from my May 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: Sometimes when practicing zhan zhuang, I get muscle spasms in my lower back. Why is this happening? How can I prevent this from happening?

Answer: You recently had a breakthrough. You shifted from living a rigid, analytical, rule-based life to living with more feeling and connection. But there is an internal battle between the new, free and feeling Mike versus the analytical, live rigidly by rules Mike. You're experiencing a whiplash effect between relaxing and letting and wanting to hold on. If you attach to a rule (an exercise) to fix the problem, this only re-enforces the old habit. Stay with the feeling.

(So much of my blog focuses on developing kinesthetic feeling because my primary "mode of operation" was and largely continues to be living life from what the data says rather than living life from feeling kinesthetically.

In spite of having had moments of overwhelming kinesthetic feeling which point the way, I continue to hold on to and not let go of my more deeply held habits and patterns.

There is no difference between muscular patterning and behavioral patterning. Each is a representation of the other. The development of deeper relaxation and connection requires feeling and letting go of muscular-behavorial patterns. I know this as data and I'm still afraid to do this.)

* Note: One of the "Baba Roshi" stories... The monk who got so upset that he wasn't getting enlightened when all his fellow monks were so he went to a brothel and in the act experienced enlightenment. Point being, he let go of the rules and lived fully in the moment.

* Question: What is a functional understanding of karma?

Answer: Karma is what happened yesterday. Yesterday is your past life.Today is a new day to create a new life, new karma, or resolve yesterday's karma. The coolest thing about stance is feeling connecting in the present moment.

* Question: Regarding Ego, how do I know if my quiet noticing is a quieting of the Ego or noticing from that space outside my Ego?

Answer: Don't be concerned with analytical distinctions of ego vs. non-ego. Ego is one of those ambiguous terms like Qi. It doesn't matter if it's ego or something else that is being still, the point is to experience stillness. Go to the feeling. Calm down...

* Question: I'm working on relaxing my feet. Is my weight dropping through my feet correctly?

Answer: Relax is not limp. You don't want a limp foot. We wear shoes not made for feet. Gravity and the lack of proper exercise results in the arch "falling". Using arch supports is a crutch. It's better to work on re-developing the arch. For example, exercise moving the ball of the foot toward the heel to get an arch with the correct intention.

* Question: What can I do to get more flexible and maintain connection?

Answer: For internal strength, you don't need a lot of flexibility. Being hyper-flexible can work against you. It's best to have a proper level of flexibility in the ankles and hips. Stretch your calves and hamstrings. Open the lower back. Being able to do a proper squat is all the flexibility you need.

* Question: What can I do to add value to the group?

Answer: Experiment, explore, share, write, post.

* Note: Force is a method used to create a feeling. Focus on the feeling, not the method/force used to create the feeling.

* Note: Invite an experience and be open to it. Standing develops intention. Relaxing helps opening. Don't get stuck on one-itis; "This is the one."

* Note: Don't rush it and it will happen faster.

* Note: Three paradoxes of internal strength:

Connected gives the appearance of locked - but connected is not locked.
Relaxed gives the appearance of limp - but relax is not limp.
Ease gives the appearance of easy - but ease is not easy.

* Question: What's the feeling of the chest dropping?

Answer: Take a big breath and raise the chest and then exhale and drop the chest. Get the feeling of the chest rising and dropping. Don't make the mistake of getting attached to the breath. Breathing is a method to get a feeling.

* Question: How would I transition from doing the "side-to-side" exercise to punching?

Answer: It's a process that takes a couple years after you have a good feeling of stance.
1. Feel the kua open and close and feel the back open (months).
2. Notice the feeling of twisting in the arms (at your side) under the skin (months).
3. Slowly (months) go with the twisting feeling.
4. Slowly (months) raise the arms to punching position.
5. Increase the speed of shifting, of opening and closing the kua (months).
6. Coordinate shifting with punching (months).

(My school brother is making real nice progress developing a connected punch. A real inspiration! However, without watching how someone goes through this process, or having gone through it yourself, then you will likely not understand these words. What should be clear is that developing a connected punch takes time and effort.)

* Question: What about push hands drills?

Answer: What is commonly taught as "push-hands" is all technique based.

When you distill out the principle of push-hands you find you only need to train:
1. Point (match each other) and
2. Off point (mismatch each other).

(From my years of practicing "push-hands", I would liken this experience to a K-12 level education. I have not seen anyone else practice "point off-point" push-hands which I would liken to a Ph.D. level education.

In point off-point push-hands, which begins similar to push-hands with both players in contact with each other, neither person makes what are normally considered to be "observable movements". All the action is inside as each training partner helps identify tense areas in the other through applying an appropriate level of pressure to help the other make subtle postural adjustments, to relax tense areas which improves internal connectedness to ground.

From this perspective, what is popularly known as "push-hands" may be considered a gross external practice.)

* Question: I can feel the burn in one leg but not the other. How come?

Answer: Your weight is not dropping because you're holding in the torso. Relax. Get the feeling of the side of the torso lengthening.

* Note: The training for internal strength can be summed up in one word. Relax. However, you need someone to notice what you cannot notice in yourself. You need a good training partner. This is what a teacher really does. Helps you notice so you can develop your own ability to notice.

(The Wujifa exercises provide a template or pattern against which the teacher compares your patterned movement. In pointing out how you can improve doing the exercise, you also notice and become more aware of your own patterns.

From my experience, one pattern that gets built in through traditional K-12 and college coursework is to put responsibility on the teacher to teach me. But to develop the ability to notice, feel and make progress developing internal strength requires almost an opposite approach. This lesson can take a while to learn in itself.)

* Question: How about using mirrors for practice.

Answer: It's OK to stand before a mirror initially for the visual cue. Then practice with eyes closed. Then practice with eyes open without mirror. Closed eyes practice helps develop the looking inside to help focus attention inside not distracted by external visual stimuli. This too is a method. Once you get the feeling, then practice with eyes open.

(I've found that when I practice with my eyes closed it's easier to "drift off" into La-La Land. Keeping the eyes open and having that visual stimuli helps keep me present.)

* Question: Sometimes in stance my arms feel like floating. Is it OK to go with the feeling?

Answer: In stance, don't zone out to La-La Land. If your arms are down and feel like floating up, don't do it. Rather, raise them with purpose and intention. But be careful with this. Sometimes raising the arms is a way to cheat, a way to pull the weight out of the legs into the chest. Be aware of what's going on in your body when you feel the "urge" to raise your arms.

* Note: A couple notes on stance practice in class today.

Started very rigid. Too much trying to stand. Too much following the rules. Rick helped me lighten up by giggling, poking, laughing which helped me shift. Just stand. Don't "do stance". You learned the rules, now forget the rules. Relax. Enjoy.
Wow! Feel heavy below, light above. Waves of pleasure, bliss. Waves of sadness and crying. Felt more completely in my own body than ever before.
(From what I've read and seen online, people don't talk emotions that may come up during stance practice. I find this odd since I've seen in others and experienced myself emotional responses in the process of relaxing and letting go. I've even heard other high-level masters speak privately of emotional reactions during stance practice.

The purpose of stance is to feel and relax and build connection. The purpose is not to evoke emotional reactions. Sometimes there may be spontaneous emotional reactions like laughing or crying or fright or calm during workouts. These and other reactions are simply part of the process.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Don't Do Stance, Just Stand: Journal Notes #54
Next article in this series: Teaching Internal Strength: Journal Notes #56

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Don't Do Stance, Just Stand: Journal Notes #54

2011-08-29T10:00:00.048-04:00

Notes from my April 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: How does stance relate to everyday life?

Answer: Mr. 20/20 says, "Play where it doesn't matter." Stance work is playing where it doesn't matter. The result shows up in everyday life as a natural powerful you.

* Question: Stance work for developing internal strength seems to be more than simply developing a physical skill. What's really going on here?

Answer: What we do here is analogous to sword making. Take crappy old slag, put it in the fire, pound on it, refine it, repeat over and over beating out the impurities.

(The crappy old slag is me, the beginner. The fire is zhan zhuang and other specific exercises. The pounding is the structural adjustments and the daily training. The impurities are the muscular tensions, blockages, sticky points, habitual patterns. It is this process of repeating the same simple activities over and over that refines the crappy old slag into a fine sword.)

* Question: I'm seeing so much more in stance now. How to keep track of it all?

Answer: Look at an aquarium. What do you see? Americans see components: fish, seaweed, rocks. Chinese see a piece of the ocean. They see an extract, a representation. Shift your focus off the components to the whole.

(I'm learning just how ingrained my component view really is! Even though I've experienced 'the feeling' both through adjustments and "on my own" with coaching, I am reluctantly working on developing 'the feeling'. Why do I say "reluctantly" when that's what I've said I want? Read on... )

* Question: I've been practicing stance a really long time. Maybe I'm a slow learner? How long should it take?

Answer: You want to hold onto your patterns. We talked about this years ago. You're holding yourself back. If you were more open to change, it takes a couple years to develop the sense of feel.

* Question: I'm finding I get tired in stance. I'm noticing now there's so much more tension. What's going on?

Answer: The energy you devote to critical thinking is draining you. Yes, as you feel more, you will notice more, but you do not have to think more. Relax the thinking. Focus on balance and relax and relax all of you while maintaining structure.

* Question: So then, what's the right way to do stance?

Answer: Don't do stance and all its rules, just stand.

* Note: We had a long discussion about Allowing vs. Controlling. For example:

D: If I open my hand, I'm controlling that.
R: Yes, but if you are reaching for a glass of water, you allow your hand to open. It's a matter of intention.

(Unfortunately, this is the only note I have on this discussion. For me, the whole concept of "letting go" and "allowing" contradicted my concepts about learning and making progress which centered on "grasping" and "controlling".

I've learned that the intention to feel connectedness is like reaching for the glass of water. The feeling of connectedness is not something that can be learned and acquired through the normal means of learning, but rather is something that shows up when I learn how to allow myself to let go and notice and feel. The intention of Intention.)

* Question: When I do side-to-side, am I pushing from the weighted leg or pulling from the empty leg to shift the weight?

Answer: Neither. Your focus is wrong. You're using force. Remember, when doing side to side, turn on the hip and ankle. Keep the knee neutral. Demonstration:
The intention on closing the kua will pull you from full side to empty side.
The intention on opening the kua will push from full side to empty side.

(To read this probably makes no logical sense. But when you see how this is done, then it is completely clear. The "seeing" of course is the caveat - you must have relaxed your own body enough to have developed the "vision" to see tension and holding in others. Learning how to power the shifting from the kua is completely different from "muscularly" forcing the shift as many people do.

I still can't do it right but at least now I know how I'm doing it wrong.)

* Question: So it looks like moving from the kua involves more than simply creating an inguinal crease by whatever means?

Answer: In Wujifa, the inguinal crease extends much further than is typically thought of. In Wujifa, the kua extends from around the perineum to the area a little beyond between the top outside ridge of the pelvic iliac crest and the greater trochanter.

After the beginner starts to get some awareness and movement in that area, she/he will notice the kua as what is normally thought of as the inguinal crease. As the person progress, she/he will notice the feeling of the fold go much deeper and longer. An intermediate person will notice that vertical and horizontal movements can occur independently when opening or closing each kua. A more advanced person will notice a twining or spiraling effect through multiple fascial connections throughout the hip joint and then it is no longer thought of in terms of a "crease" or "kua" folding. The idea of "kua" is there as a method to help people develop internal connection and can be let go of once that is understood.

* Question: I had a strong emotional feeling arise which I blocked from expressing. I felt it come up from the belly and went to my voice but I held back verbally expressing this feeling. I then felt it move to head where I ran an internal dialogue and then it moved into my shoulders as stress.

Answer: This is probably one of your patterns you are just now noticing. Here's some ways to work with this. (We then worked on this but too much happened that I couldn't remember it all to write it down.)

* Question: What is silk reeling?

Answer: Silk reeling is the feeling of fascia moving.

(Silk reeling is not the popularized pattern drills called "silk reeling". My understanding is that silk reeling exercises are meant to be simple patterns that when performed correctly, can help develop the feeling of connectedness, which initially shows up as a feeling of "twining".

I've found that the popularized "Silk Reeling" exercises are too complicated to be of any functional utility. They are too much like extracts of the Tai Chi form. By having an exercise that looks like Tai Chi, my tendency was to play silk reeling like I played my Tai Chi forms. And I completely missed the purpose of the exercise!

As one who has attended silk reeling seminars, and with the hindsight I now have, I think seminars that focus on doling out multiple silk reeling forms do not benefit the beginner.

Wujifa has other, even less complicated exercises that in my opinion, helps the beginner focus the mind better on the purpose of the exercise.

A more logical progression for someone wanting to develop internal strength might be to start with Wujifa exercises to first get a feel for the feeling of connectedness and then work on maintaining that feeling as you shift into something like the popularized silk reeling exercises.)

* Note: The Bagua Golden Chicken exercise. Focus on feeling the twining under under the skin as you do this.

* Note: When testing your internal strength, if you feel strong muscularly then you are doing it wrong, not using internal strength. So one key when practicing is to look for areas where you feel you are relying on muscle and relax that. Relaxing will build better connection. A good training partner is indispensable for developing internal connectedness.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Contradictions: Journal Notes #53
Next article in this series: Backlash: Journal Notes #55

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Contradictions: Journal Notes #53

2011-08-22T09:57:00.004-04:00

Notes from my March 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: Why teach by contradictions?

Answer: Because what we want to describe cannot be described. If we said "x", then the mind would gravitate to it's definition or concept of "x" which would be wrong. So it is more correct to say it is not this nor that like the Buddhist teaching of No. No. No. No. No. Eventually the mind exhausts its logical conceptual efforts and the answer/feeling becomes clear and then you understand that the feeling cannot be described and you wonder why you didn't "get it" sooner. This is the process of your natural unwinding.

(And if you're really wedded to your logical thought processes like me, it could take a long time to unwind. This is where dogged perseverance will help you to eventually get it.)

* Question: In the last class, you explained the differences between mystical, functional and mechanical. Where can I get more information and examples of functional thinking?

Answer: Functional thinking is a term coined by the late psychologist Wilhelm Reich. A good definition of functionalism might be: Look for differences and among those differences find similarities.

* Question: I've been experiencing "sleepy eyes" recently. Like I just don't want to open my eyes. It's easier to keep them closed. Any ideas? Have you ever experienced this yourself?

Answer: It may be due to season changes from winter/kidney to spring/liver. It may be due to energetically switching from being data-ish to being more functional. Wanting to keep the eyes closed could represent wanting to avoid what you are opening to seeing.

* Notes on teaching:

The teacher must calibrate to each student and not simply make the same gross muscular adjustment to each student so the students all look the same. Each student is different, has a different structuring, responds to kinesthetic suggestions differently.

One method will not work with everyone. Also, methods can change and do change to adjust to you as you change and mature in the practice. A method is really just a way to get you to the next step and is largely dependent on what your body is/is not doing.

With each adjustment, ask, "How does that feel?" Get feedback. Also, prompting for feedback anchors the feeling for the student.

Audio (speaking/listening) and kinesthetic (touching) works great in making stance adjustments.

(Adjustments to zhan zhuang posture may start out at the gross muscular level in the beginner like keeping the heels and toes on parallel lines, but at advanced levels, adjustments get into the milli-micro-meter range where from one perspective it doesn't even feel like there was an adjustment but at another level, that little adjustment, which can feel more like an adjustment in the application of intention, results in a huge shift in the level of connectedness.)

* Question: What's wrong with wanting to label a feeling, even conceptually as "this" or "that" feeling? This is what I do so I can recreate "that" feeling at home when I practice.

Answer: Stop labeling. The moment you name or label, then you lose presence, feeling, and connection. For example when you believe you know what a tree is, because you have a concept of a tree, then you dismiss the experience and reality of that unique tree. No two trees are exactly the same. The feeling is never exactly the same.

If you try to compare a new feeling/experience to a previous experience, if you try to categorize the new based on the previous, if you try to define or name the new using established concepts, you will get confused. What you are aiming for is completely different from what you think you are aiming for. Get the feeling of what you experience now and invent a new language.

* Question: I learn here, I make progress here as do my classmates. Where can I verify where I am in my progress outside of class?

Answer: It's best to enter competitions to seek validation. If you go to others' workshops or seminars, the danger is that each teacher has his own system and whatever you do will not be correct in that system.

For example, the terms grounding, centering, rooting, etc... each martial art or qi-gong school can use the same words but could have different meanings that are true in their system. Comparing and trying to synthesize terms from different disciplines can confuse rather than contribute to your practice.

* Question: My shin bone muscle hurts. What's going on?

Answer: I stood and Dan and Rick worked on adjusting my posture which helped bring more of my awareness to more details of how and where I was dropping my weight on the inside vs outside of my heel. They also noticed a counter-twist across my calf and thigh the torque of which I was noticing across my shin bone.

(This is one of many examples of what happens in the body in the process of letting go. As one area relaxes or lets go, if a corresponding area is still tense or tight, then "problems" arise. It's then that you begin to notice other areas that need to relax as well.

I've discovered that this process of incrementally letting go has reached into the core of my personality - how locked in I am vs. how willing I am to really let go. Looking back, it was easy to mimic the gross motor mechanics of learning forms and techniques. As it turns out, that was the low level stuff. Now, getting into the finer and more subtle levels where intention intersects micro-kinesthetic response and behavior, well, this can bring up some interesting insights.)

* Question: In the Tai-chi classics, it says to round the back. Does that refer to not having the scapulas wing out?

Answer: The scapula is not important to focus on. The focus point is on relaxing and dropping the chest. The shoulder adjustment (rolling the shoulder back) is to help open the chest. The other half of that classic says sink the chest. When people do this, they roll the shoulders forward and hunch which is wrong.

(For me, my particular problem was that I hunched. My scapulas did not wing out. There were other students in class that did have their scapulas wing out. For them, the scapula was important to focus on.)

* Question: Does the burning sensation in the legs ever go away?

Answer: It can and you can bring it back at anytime.

* Question: Will the feeling of weight in the legs continue to grow as I continue to relax the upper more at more finer layers or not?

Answer: Feeling the weight in the legs is a method. It is one of the basic "sub-feelings". You can leave it and come back to it any time.

(The main feeling we are looking for is the feeling of connectedness.)

* Question: If I tilt my pelvis back slightly, I feel the entire back "activated". If I tilt my pelvis forward slightly, I feel the entire front "activated". Should I practice and develop this now that I've notice it, now that I've become aware of this feeling?

Answer: What you're noticing in the front and back are external feelings. Go deeper internally. Just relax. Stop using so much force. Stop trying to "muscle it". Drop through the center. Relax is primary. What is important is when and how these show up in training. Using these feelings will become important later in combat stance.

* Question: You always ask about purpose, "What's your purpose?" Why is this so important?

Answer: The more clearly you understand your purpose, then the more clearly you will understand how to use the methods and which methods you can use to get you there.

* Question: The first Wujifa triangle has: Structure, Relax, Balance. What if I only focused on one? What's the result?

Answer:
Structure alone leads to brace.
Balance alone leads to teetering.
Relax alone leads to the limp noodle.

* Question: How do I get stronger legs doing high stances like we do? Shouldn't we also do lower stances?

Answer: People don't use their hip as a hip joint. The purpose of lower stance is to open the hip but people think that lower stance is itself the purpose or they think the purpose is to develop strong legs. You will develop strong legs in high stance when you open the hips and unlock the held tension in the upper body. To help open the hips you can do stretches like downward dog and the cat stretch.

* Question: Yi Quan is a newer art. Why are there different "schools" already?

Answer: When a person discovers what worked for him/her based on his/her character structure and particular muscular patterns, and then teaches that, you see how many schools arise. Schools form around methods. The method is not the truth.

* Question: Regarding making adjustments to Dan's combat stance... You always say to start adjustments with the feet. Why are you starting with the arms?

Answer: In combat stance, if you set up the legs first, they may burn out before you get the arms set up. So set up the arms first, get that feeling and practice then drop into the legs.

* Question: Shouldn't the head be like hanging from a string like this (demonstrating)? How's this look?

Answer: In raising the head, do not push up from the neck. Keep the neck relaxed. Push up from the feet. Use the whole body to raise the head.

(Again, because I tended to hunch, the method of pushing up from the feet helped to straighten out my hunching without focusing on "Don't hunch!" With other classmates who did not hunch, it was raise the head by "pushing up" from the neck. The method depends on the structure being addressed.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Follow the Feeling: Journal Notes #52
Next article in this series: Don't Do Stance, Just Stand: Journal Notes #54

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Chinese Martial Arts Without The Qi

2011-08-21T00:18:00.002-04:00

As I was reading the book "A Brief History of Qi", I realized a broader and deeper "a-ha" understanding of Qi. I realized that:

There is no single, one-size-fits-all English translation for Qi.
Trying to figure out and understand or feel Qi is a waste of time.
I don't need to "get" qi to excel in Chinese martial arts.

Let me explain.

First, I both liked and didn't like "A Brief History of Qi". What I liked was it was an attempt to explain Qi in broader terms of its linguistic, historical and cultural nativity. (Many other books I've read merely offer a simple, ungrounded translation.) What I didn't like was its complete lack of adherence to academic standards: no footnotes, no citations. There is a one page bibliography.

Second, I found the book seemed to "go deeper" in the chapters on literature, philosophy, and art but "got shallow" in the chapters on qi-gong and martial arts. This may be due to my having read a lot about qi-gong and martial arts and not so much about literature and art. So, with this in mind...

Qi is an element of the Chinese worldview. References to Qi appear in philosophy, literature, calligraphy, art, medicine, exercise and martial arts as well as in daily life and colloquial sayings. There are many contexts in which this word is used and so, the word has many nuances of meaning.

Trying to compress a fundamental and widely used element of an entire cultural worldview into a single foreign word or phrase (that also carries its own cultural meanings), results in an abysmal gap in understanding and quaint and erroneous translations. Life force, spiritual energy, energy, air, or breath may be somewhat correct in one context but ridiculously wrong in another.

Here's a for instance...

Consider our English word, "weather" which in Chinese is, tiān qì ( 天氣 or 天气 ) which translates as sky or heaven (tiān;天) and xxx (qì;气)

Chinese think of weather as Sky"Qi". This combination of "sky" and "qi" understands "Qi" at play in the sky. An American understanding of the word "weather" may think in terms of warm and cold fronts or high and low pressure systems. We don't have it in our cultural worldview to think of weather as sky "qi".

And when I asked my Chinese source if Chinese think of tiān qì as the "breath of heaven" (honest to God, this is one translation I saw), she wrinkled up her nose and said, "No. Breath (qì xī ; 氣息 or 气息) has nothing to do with weather."

And the list of Chinese words that include the word "qi" goes on and on and on...

In the New World Encyclopedia entry for "Qi", the section titled, "Similar Concepts in Other Cultures" prefaces the list with the following (italics added for emphasis):

The concept of a life-energy inherent in all living beings seems to be a fairly universal archetype, and appears in numerous religious and metaphysical systems. As always, these similarities represent points of correspondence (not identity) and should be thoughtfully evaluated in their own contexts before using them as a basis for any essentialistic conclusions.

The Chinese include Qi in their worldview and Americans do not and that's OK. It is a huge chasm in worldviews and that's OK. In my opinion at this time, this is one chasm that does not need to be bridged and for us enthusiasts of the Chinese martial arts, we are better off not laboring to figure out our own understanding of Qi.

We do not need to learn the Qi aspect of the Chinese worldview to develop higher level skills. I say this from experience of wasting years in this pursuit.

We do however need to look at the body functionally. What are the Chinese martial art masters physically doing? How do you understand and explain that physical function in your own worldview? How do you replicate that physical skill in your own body?

For an example of a system that has a functional understanding of the internal strength skill set and uses plain American English to explain how to develop this skill set, I encourage you to visit the Wujifa.com site and read through the articles at the Wujifa Liangong Blog.

So the next time someone asks, "What is qi?", tell 'em, "Qi is qi."

Happy practicing everyone!

Follow the Feeling: Journal Notes #52

2011-08-15T10:00:00.043-04:00

Notes from my February 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang.. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Note: In one class this month after adjustments, I noticed a very different kind of feeling through the soles of my feet, ankles and up through my legs when the arch was either collapsed or pulled up. I have no words to describe this feeling so how can I say I had "x" feeling? It's as if I want to force a feeling into a word and if a word does not exist to describe it, then it's almost like the feeling doesn't exist.

(The way I see it, a problematic aspect of "internal" work is the lack of a concise language that describes the various kinesthetic feelings or phases one progresses through from beginner to master.

A word like "feeling" is so vague and ambiguous that a beginner and master and everyone in-between can use the same word and be talking about completely different kinesthetic experiences.

The only way to really know the skill level of someone who talks-the-talk is to touch hands with them for a few seconds.)

* Note: Two of our sensory systems function in a very limited bandwidth of the entire energy spectrum. Hearing (auditory) is limited to the 20 Hz to 20,000 Hz range. Seeing (visual) is limited to the spectrum of "visible" light, about 380 mm/s (violet color) to 750 mm/s (red color). Oddly, the sensory system of touch/feeling (kinesthetic) has no defined frequency range.

* Note: Allow each sensory facility to be used for its function. Don't try to force a sensory function to be used in a way it was not designed for. If you haven't developed your kinesthetic to the same level as visual and auditory, you may try to use your strength instead of developing your weakness. Think of feeling your internal kinesthetics as a new playground to explore.

* "Listen" to your body. It's wisdom is superior to any thought you may think. Learn its "language". Feel.

* Question: Have you met any of the teachers featured in the book "Nei Jia Quan: Internal Martial Arts Teachers of Tai Ji Quan, Xing Yi Quan, and Ba Gua Zhang" (2004)?

Answer: Not directly but possibly their students. Mike Sigman helped popularized a functional understanding of what internal strength means. Many of these teachers may be riding on his coat-tails. You should visit any of his remaining web sites and old email strings (from the 1990s). You'll see he was saying all this then.

* Note: In my early Tai chi days, I recall Tai chi teachers saying, "Move as if moving through water." But if I have chronic tensions I have not let go of and I am not relaxed, then imagining alone will not yield the desired result.

(Imagining doesn't make the chronic muscular tension go away. If anything, developing an imaginary 'sense' of moving through a viscous fluid further embedded my tensions because I layered another pattern over an existing pattern. I got stuck on imagining how I was moving and didn't feel how I was actually moving.

It wasn't until I took a more functional approach to letting go of chronic muscular tensions (through Rolfing and stance) that I began to notice on rare occasions a feeling that could be described as like moving through water.

I think different masters have different ways to try to describe the quality of the feeling.

I learned it's better to focus on doing seemingly unrelated yet functional exercises which ultimately result in that movement quality "naturally" showing up rather than pretending that movement quality.)

* Note: You can however use imagination as an isolated "medicine" to introduce the feeling of intention. For example, with your arms relaxed and hanging at your side, "Imagine your fingers are extending down without muscularly extending the fingers." The purpose is not to extend the fingers but to stretch the tightness out of the arm.

* Mind-body is all about where you set the dividing line. For example:

Mike's brain - Spinal column - nerves - finger - skin - table - Dan's skin - finger - nerves - spinal column - brain. When Mike's mind has a thought to tap the table and Dan feels the tap through his finger on the same table, where does Mike's mind and body end and Dan's body and mind begin?

* Note: Attention is noticing. Intention is expanding. Need to balance these two in stance. An imbalance leads to "stance dance".

(I have heard: Stance practice should be 50% noticing, 50% peng.)

* Question: You say, "The method is not the truth. Once you get the feeling, get rid of the method." So when I ask, "What is the feeling?" that question is self limiting because my practice today opens opportunities to feel more and deeper tomorrow. So there is no single be-all-and-end-all goal, no single, "the feeling". Rather, the saying should be more like, "Once you begin feeling, follow that feeling." Is this thought process on the right track?

Answer: Yes. You finally got it! Big breakthrough!

(When I read this old note now and the excitement I penned, I remember how much and how long I was struggling with trying to understand "The method is not the truth" phrase. This re-phrasing made so much more sense to me and was the key to my understanding what this phrase was pointing to.

I think the main thing I got stuck on was that I just couldn't understand how various exercises were "methods" and what methods had to do with feeling and what feeling had to do with developing internal strength. It was all very confusing for a very long time.

Thankfully, I have greater clarity now; more clear on the process and more clear on what my current "road blocks" are to further development and why I maintain these road blocks.)

* (Read these together)
Old Question: Isn't "the feeling" another word for "global awareness"?
Old Answer: No.
New Question: Isn't "the feeling" another word for "global awareness"?
New Answer: Yes.

(Even though the words of the question were the same, my teacher knew that my original understanding of "global awareness" was an intellectualization and not an attempt to describe a functional kinesthetic feeling and so answering "Yes" at that time would have led me in the wrong direction.

This is a good example demonstrating how knowing where your students are and speaking to where they are provides more valuable guidance rather than simply speaking the truth as you know it where you are as a teacher.)

* Question: Are all stances the same?

Answer: Yes, all stances will help you stand.

* Question: Are internal and external stances the same?

Answer: They look the same but are done differently.

(As I understand it, the difference is in how the mind is engaged, for what purpose and what is or is not happening under the skin.)

* Question: Is there an evolution to stance practice?

Answer: Yes, get the basic relax first in zhan zhuang. Then move into combat stances.

* Question: Some famous teachers (I've seen on the internet videos) mention changing stance every five minutes. Why? This doesn't seem to give you enough time to get into it.

Answer: These teachers may be catering to Americans.

(At the time I asked this question, I actually thought the "famous teacher" knew something better or more than my "not famous teacher". Looking back I understand this answer so much clearer now.

The American tendency toward action as I know it, is a stumbling block in this practice. If you want to make money teaching stance, then to get paying students, you have to keep them entertained. What better entertainment than changing positions every five minutes!

If you want to make real progress, you're better to only stand in Wujifa Zhan Zhuang for extended periods of time. The more illogical and boring the better!)

* Note on mystical, functional, mechanical:

Mystical - Places responsibility outside of self.
Functional - Looks for similarities, unifying principles.
Mechanical - Loses sight of the whole picture. Sees only the details.

* Note: Shoulders are tougher than elbows. Kuas are tougher than knees. "Tougher" means difficult to feel into, difficult to change established habitual patterns.

(Yes indeed. Shoulders and kua are difficult to feel into and to change!)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Noticing To Help You Notice: Journal Notes #51
Next article in this series: Contradictions: Journal Notes #53

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Noticing To Help You Notice: Journal Notes #51

2011-08-08T10:00:00.062-04:00

Notes from my January 2008 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: What is the biggest problem in learning zhan zhuang?

Answer: The biggest problem is that people want to force relax, to make the body go where it is not ready to go. Just relax where you are and allow the "let go" to grow naturally.

* Question: What are you looking for when you make adjustments?

Answer: When adjusting stance, you need to give an adjustment the person can get into their brain to be able to reproduce in their practice. If an adjustment makes no sense, then it can't be reproduced.

For example, if the goal is to open the chest but the shoulder is locked, then moving the elbow back will move the shoulder back which opens the chest. You can remember and reproduce "move the elbow back" but you wouldn't remember or be able to reproduce the intricate adjustments I make to help open the chest.

Use this method until the shoulder opens and can move back on its own.

* Question: Is breath work an internal or external practice?

Answer: To an external stylist, breathing is an internal practice. To an internal stylist, breathing is an external practice in relation to the rest of his practice.

* Question: If the goal to stand for one hour a day is met, then what?

Answer: Then appreciate the choice and enjoy the space or set new goals within that time or, notice, play with, experiment. The best place to play is strong noticing.

* Question: What's feeling got to do with mystical, functional and mechanistic?

Answer:

Mysticism: Everything is One. Lost in the feeling of Oneness.
Functional: Awake to various feelings. Can distinguish different feelings.
Mechanistic: Not feeling. Focused on data and information.

* Note: Today, bio work for a school brother - repeated loud, long ahhhh, kind of like yelling. We can hear when his throat pinches the yell and when it is open but he can't hear the subtle difference. By physically noticing for him and pointing out the differences, he began to feel what we heard. This creates a growth opportunity because now he knows something other than his normal everyday pattern.

* Note: Corrections are noticing for the person. The instructor's noticing helps you notice so you can begin to notice for yourself to begin to make your own corrections. Encourage people to work on their own, see what they find and bring it back, contribute.

* Note: I was amazed at a comment Dan made which was something like: If I can feel tension or relaxation in one part of my body, then I know I can feel it in other parts.

* Question: Is what I'm feeling in my shoulders/chest when I relax, is that tension or is it more like a stretched rubber band tension kind of feeling?

Answer: Think of hot peppers. Black, Jalapeno, Red, Thai, Green, Italian. All different flavors of hot yet they are all peppers. You are now noticing pepper but you don't yet have the language to describe the different flavors. Get a feel for the flavors.

Say these two sentences emphasizing the italicized word in each:

You know how peppers taste.
You know how peppers taste.

When you emphasize "peppers", then your underlying intention is likely data driven.

When you emphasize "taste", then your underlying intention is likely sense-feeling driven.

Notice the different feeling in each way of saying the same sentence. Putting the emphasis on "taste" introduces so much more sensuality - sense feeling.

* Here's an exercise to help you notice the difference between a mechanical approach and a feeling approach:

Write the word "feeling" ten times.
Spell the word "feeling" ten times.
Draw each letter in the word "feeling" ten times.
Now express different feelings in writing or drawing the entire word as an expression of that feeling. Play with the letters and the word and feel the feeling writing the word you are creating painting that feeling.

#1 is your normal, everyday mode.
#2 focuses more on the mechanical/data aspect of writing.
#3 focuses even more on the details of the mechanical/data aspect of writing.

Going from one to three helps you gain insight into the detail, however, you also lose the feeling of the word.

#4 shifts focus from the mechanical details to an emphasis on playing/experimenting with different feelings.

Now compare the result of #1 with #4. What has changed?

(I'm really good at doing Step #2 and Step #3 but where I get stuck is Step #4. This is also my pattern in learning zhan zhuang. I crave the data details and in so doing, miss the feeling.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: You Can't Force Relax: Journal Notes #50
Next article in this series: Follow the Feeling: Journal Notes #52

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

You Can't Force Relax: Journal Notes #50

2011-08-01T10:00:00.090-04:00

Notes from my December 2007 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. My notes skip from August to December. There were no entries for September, October, November. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: Sometimes I feel like I'm not making any progress. You know? It's not like when I'm learning new forms or applications and I can see the progress. What's happening?

Answer: Plateaus. We all get them. Feels like no progress, no changes. This can be a place to relax after hard progress and in relaxing, preparation for what is ahead. Keep practicing.

* Question: If the key is to relax, how can I make myself relax faster?

Answer: You can't force relax. You can't make yourself relax. Just relax and the body will relax at it's own pace. Enjoy the journey of watching your body change.

(I found that the wanting to rush it, force it, make it happen actually creates more tension. The wanting has to be balanced with relax.

An analogy of trying to relax might be driving to Disneyland. If I drive as fast as the car will go and never stop, I probably won't get there. If I drive the posted speed limit and take rests along the way, I'll probably arrive there safely, enjoy the trip and maybe even learn something I can share with other drivers. In both cases, I have the intention to drive to Disneyland.

Maintain the intention and relax.)

* Note: The problem with this work is that I tend to use stiffness and tension to try to achieve the result that can only be achieved through relaxing.

(This tendency or pattern continues to show up as I work at deeper and more subtle layers. I'll practice something on my own between classes. I think I've got this great feeling of connectedness going and when I demonstrate it at class for validation, then I'm told I'm using too much tension and not enough relax.
I think this pattern is a function of the way I process sense information. I tend to filter sense information as "data". I've got to see and understand what I'm seeing before I notice the feeling in myself. This pattern makes the data seem counter-intuitive, contradictory, a frustrating puzzle. But once I notice and understand the feeling, then the data is completely intuitive and understandable.

This pattern contributes to slow my progress because I do in my body what my data is telling me how to do it. However, this pattern also gives me great data to share as I work through figuring out the feeling from a data perspective.
That said, and from what I understand, others can filter or process sense information more directly kinesthetically. They may feel-notice what the master's body is doing and feel-notice their body is not doing the same. They then set their body to work to figure out how to get the same kinesthetic feeling they feeling-noticed. This way of processing sense information can get quicker results but may generate less data in the process of developing the result.
From what I currently understand, how one processes sense information is more a habituated pattern than a voluntary decision... at least in the beginning. It may take a while for your teacher or you to discover your pattern. And then how to work it to your advantage.)

* Question: Is the feeling like this or more like this (demonstrating)?

Answer: Your language reveals your thought process which reveals your lack of connection to feeling. When you use polarity (yin-yang, either-or), you avoid committing to a position other than your either-or and in so doing, you create limitations. In your example, "Is it this or that?" the answer might be, "Maybe it is neither or both or something else." So your thinking is restricted and not open to possibility.

* Question: I know you had me write poetry for a while as an exercise to break out of data-mode. Was this another reason?

Answer: Writing poetry helps to develop the feeling "channel". Feeling will allow writing of poetry.

* Question: What's the big deal about my shoulders being rolled forward a little bit?

Answer: If shoulders (deltoids) are rolled/tilted forward, are not vertical, this is due to tension in front, an imbalance. Strategy is to seek balance. To resolve this, big inhale and lift the chest military style which will roll the shoulders back, then, exhale and drop the chest without moving the shoulders.

(From my personal experience and from what I've seen in class, it can be tricky and may take a long time to get the desired results of this seemingly simple exercise!

Sometimes the muscles are so stuck that on the exhale and dropping the chest, the shoulders can't stay back in place and roll forward with the chest dropping.

Sometimes the back muscles engage to forcefully hold the shoulders back in place on the exhale but after a few breaths, the back muscles give out the shoulders roll forward again.

Sometimes, there is so much tension in the upper back and shoulders that this prevents the shoulders from rolling back as far as they need to go.

Sometimes the desired results of this exercise can only be achieved after lengthy attention and practice and/or therapeutic intervention.)

* Question: What is functional thinking?

Answer: Functional thinking looks for connections, unifying principles. It's O.K. to look at a problem but don't get stuck there.

* Question: How do you read books about internal gong fu written by others?

Answer: There are two ways to interpret the writings of other masters:
The author/master knows the "secret" and you put a lot of authority on him for this.

Read what the author writes and say, "I think this means...." and then seek validation for what you think it means.
(I remember John brought a writing to Wujifa class one time (maybe the last August class?) and we went through it line by line interpreting what we thought that author meant.

This was an interesting exercise because I think we all learned there are different ways to describe the same internal phenomena and your level of understanding at the time can mislead your interpretation of what the author is describing.

I wish these masters would write books journaling their progress from their first day of class. I think this would provide much better guidance to beginning and intermediate practitioners who read their works.

You can't begin working at the level the master achieved which made him publishable!)

* Question: Why do you adjust our hands in stance?

Answer: The position of the fingers and hand opens or closes certain channels for certain purposes.

* Question: Sometimes I feel more 'push up' when I practice sitting stance. Why?

Answer: If you feel more uplift in sitting than in standing, this is likely due to breaks in the feeling through the legs. The upward energy is not going through the legs.

* Note: If you ain't got inguinal crease, you ain't got crap! If you can't feel and engage the inguinal crease, then the movement of the arms in "silk reeling" means nothing.

(I think what this note means is that the inguinal crease is a function of the femur heads rolling forward which is a function of having achieved a basic level of relaxation of the lower back. Due to the strategic location of the lower back - connecting the legs and the upper torso - if this area is still locked with chronic tension, then there is no "connection" between the legs and upper torso and so there is no "silk" to "reel". Relaxing and opening the lower back allows both the inguinal crease and a feeling of "twining" to show up which is part of silk reeling.

When I used muscular force instead of relax to create the inguinal crease, 1. I was doing it wrong. 2. I couldn't get as deep a "crease" as I could get through relax. 3. I couldn't feel as deeply as I could through relax. and 4. My lower back did not open and I did not feel the "twining" feeling, the "reeling silk" feeling.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Appreciation and Thankfulness: Journal Notes #49
Next article in this series: Noticing To Help You Notice: Journal Notes #51

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Tai Chi Memories: Bob Klein and the Long Island School of Tai Chi Chuan

2011-07-26T14:37:00.007-04:00

The Long Island School of Tai Chi Chuan formed my first experience in learning Tai Chi Chuan as a martial art. I was a formal student of Bob Klein's from the fall of 1984 to the summer of 1988 when I moved away for my first trip to China.

In the fall of 1984, during my sophomore year at college, SUNY Stony Brook, I saw a flyer in the student Union for the Long Island School of Tai Chi Chuan which advertised Tai chi as a martial art. (For the back-story see my article: My First Tai Chi: Sophia Delza Wu Style.)

When I called inquiring about classes, I was invited to an upcoming school party. And so... my first experience with this school was participating in a "Taoist Forest Wine Ceremony".

The "Taoist Forest Wine Ceremony" involved all adults in attendance, which was maybe about 30 people that day. We sat in a large circle on the lawn outside the school, each with a glass of wine. We took turns going around the circle saying something we were thankful for. This was followed by a hearty "Ho!" and everyone taking a sip of wine. This continued until all the glasses and bottles were empty and everyone was overflowing with thankfulness! And as I learned later, this was a fair introduction to the temperament of the school: easy-going and prone to laughter.

Kungfu Magazine.com has an e-zine article, a kind of mini- Tai chi autobiography by Bob Klein titled: Animal Fighting and Animal Chi-Gung. I suggest you read this so you gain an insight into the influences on Bob's approach to Tai Chi Chuan. Bob's primary Tai Chi teacher was Grandmaster William C.C. Chen.

When I started classes, Bob gave me a booklet he wrote titled, "May I Have Your Attention, Please". (Does anyone still have a copy of this?) Then his first major book came out, Movements of Magic: The Spirit of Tai-Chi Chuan (1984). He began filming his first videos during the time I was there. His "Zookineses" was there is spirit but was not yet named nor codified.

Once each summer, Bob would bring out a six foot boa constrictor or two to push-hands class and we'd practice "pushing hands" with the boa, feeling the fine, wave-like muscular movements of this big snake.

Feel how human muscular movement is coarser than the snake's. How can you apply the strength and power of the snake's movements in push hands?

I remember during these sessions that we'd also practice snake staring. Getting nose to nose, eye to eye with a boa is an amazing experience even if it was "tame" and used to human contact!

One experience I vividly remember during one of these sessions was asking Bob, "Am I seeing a deeper wisdom in the snake or is the snake reflecting my own deeper wisdom back to me?" The answer he gave was, "You'll have to figure that out yourself." Working with large snakes in this way is an experience that has stuck with me.

Bob used to encourage us to watch and imitate animal movements. I spent a lot of time in the woods behind my dormitory practicing forms and observing the small animals. I even made a few trips to the Bronx Zoo. Most interesting was observing monkeys playing with momentum as they'd swing from branch to branch, up and down, and around and around. My girlfriend at that time had cats which I enjoyed observing and learning from. I would then try to bring the movement qualities of these different animals into my form, push-hands and sparring.

Bob wasn't one for teaching or drilling individual mechanical techniques or applications like I remember from Judo class or Chin-na seminars at the Tai Chi Farm. Rather, I remember the focus was on learning a way to move and blend and flow.

Regarding sparring, as Bob says, he learned fighting from William and then flavored that with animal movement. I wish I could find an old clip of William sparring to be able to compare apples to apples.

Bob tended to keep the temperament of sparring classes light-hearted, more game-like than competitive or war-like. Occasionally tempers flared but we worked through it. Sparring was like an extension of free-style push-hands but with boxing gloves. In sparring, like push hands, he emphasized looking for gaps and openings, appearing and disappearing, striking where the opponent wasn't paying attention; avoiding or brushing aside incoming punches and kicks while simultaneously delivering a punch or kick.

Here are a couple clips of William C.C. Chen instructing push hands. I learned these exact same exercises and body movements in Bob's classes.

I remember Bob teaching us these exact same push hands lessons of yielding.

Now, this first clip is from Bob's video, Chinese Kickboxing, 1987, which is now a two DVD set. Bob is instructing Joe and Rick. I was operating the camera. Notice the same push hands principles at work in these sparring exercises. A walk down memory lane for me...

This following clip was filmed after I left the school. However, this clip shows (in slow motion) what our beginning sparring classes looked like. Taken from the DVD "Internal Energy in the Martial Arts".

We were a great bunch of steady, long-term students all of whom I really enjoyed! Here's a photo of our "core group" in 1988. We all played forms, push-hands and sparring together. Where are they now?

Many of us also participated in various activities outside of school as well. We attended the summer Tai-chi Farm festivals in up-state New York. We went in to William's school for a T.T. Liang workshop. We did fire walks and multiple sweat lodges with Bill Elwell (Native American Indian Sacred Purification Sweat Lodge Ceremony) in some very scenic settings.

By the time I left the school I had learned the 60 movement Yang form as pictured in the 1983 book: William C.C. Chen's Tai Chi Chuan. I also learned fixed step push-hands forms, fixed step free-style push-hands, free style sparring and a Tai Chi sword form. In addition, I learned spear, staff, monkey, and mantis forms from a relative of William's whom Bob invited out from New York City on Saturday afternoons.

Toward the end of my time on Long Island, I spent some time hanging out with Ralph and Frank outside of class. On occasion, we'd polish off a half bottle of Tequila and spend hours practicing push hands which at times got really fast. Sometimes we'd stop and laugh in amazement at how our bodies responded before the mind had time to process what was happening, "Wow! Did you see that?" I was pretty impressed with the skills I had developed!

Later after leaving the school, I encountered players from many schools including other Tai-chi styles, Xing-yi, Ba-gua, Yi-Chuan and also my now longtime teacher and friend, Rick, who I've watched develop the Wujifa system. Through meeting and practicing with other people from other disciplines, I slowly came to realize that I had more to learn about internal strength and internal connectedness.

Getting back to the "Taoist Forest Wine Ceremony".... I am thankful for the unique experiences and all I learned from Bob and my classmates at the Long Island School of Tai Chi Chuan, particularly, I'm thankful I learned how to tap into an element that has imbued my Tai Chi with a qualitative smoothness and flow that I notice is lacking in many other Tai Chi players.

Snakes, cats, and monkeys...

Appreciation and Thankfulness: Journal Notes #49

2011-07-25T10:16:00.001-04:00

Notes from my August 2007 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: How do I develop "peng"?

Answer: Relax. If you try to express peng too early, then you will not be doing it internally but rather, externally. As you relax more, peng will naturally develop as the body opens.

* Question: It still takes me a while to get "set up" to sink and push up. How am I doing?

Answer: Hitting ground and peng in stance must become second nature, not something you work into. Get this as second nature first, then you can start the 24-7 practice.

* Question: Lots of people talk about opening the Bubbling Well point. I've never felt this. How can I get this feeling?

Answer: Stand, pull up toes and balls of feet. Balance on heels. Then relax down and feel. This opens the K-1 Bubbling Well using the relax principle.

* Question: What's the difference between relaxing and relaxing in formal zhan zhuang practice?

Answer: Formal stance practice engages the whole body. If you're sitting either at work, in a car, or watching TV and you're noticing tension and relaxing, you're probably only focusing on here and there, and not on the whole body and how the whole body responds to relaxing one area.

* Question: What's wrong with "Qi" and "Energy work"?

Answer: People get hung up on "Qi" and "Energy work". Focus on practicing body alignment and connection. People want the 440 volt copper lines when they don't even have the power to pass voltage through a wet cotton thread.

* Question: You've mentioned "24-7 practice". What is this?

Answer: 24-7 means practicing 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, not just the 2-3 hours a day practice. It is not about relaxing a localized spot or area. Rather, 24-7 focuses on further developing the connections and moving through everyday life with connectedness. But you need to get the feeling first.

(I remember this discussion. Even though I may periodically throughout the day "check-in" with my structure or be mindful of practicing sink and push-up while standing at the kitchen sink etc., this is not the same as 24-7 practice.)

* Question: I went to an "integrated medicine" doctor and his analysis showed that I'm Yang energy depleted; Kidneys and Heart are weak. How to build Yang energy?

Answer: Stance is the king of Qi gongs. Relaxing and opening the back benefits the kidneys. Relaxing and opening and dropping the chest benefits the heart. Other exercises: Eight Pieces of Brocade. Swing arms side to side to slap kidneys. Squats (opens back).

* Question: How do I develop connecting with the other person in push hands?

Answer: You must connect within yourself first. Then simply extend the same feeling.

(In my first few years of push hands, I thought I was connecting with the other person because I could sense and feel where the push was coming from and yield to or disappear from where the incoming push was going. And I got to where I could do this very well, very quickly with another player on my level.

As I played with more advanced players, I could still sense where the push was coming from but I could not longer yield to or escape the push. Similarly, I somehow "lost" the ability to push these more advanced players, not because they yielded but because they were simply grounding my push. They had better internal connectedness than I had.)

* Question: How do you know how your practice is going?

Answer: Hang out with, go see, compare your skill to...

* Question: How can 1,2,3,4 be a practice of depth?

Answer: 1,2,3,4 is the method. However, the method has many layers and levels. For example, feet parallel for a beginner means how the feet look to the beginner. A next level might also consider how the weight is distributed on the feet. Is the weight distributed parallel? A next level might also consider how the "energy" is moving through the foot. Are the feet parallel energetically?

(Regarding "feet parallel", I've now experienced each of these layers. I've seen how my feet can be physically aligned on parallel lines but somehow "internally" they can be un-parallel and adjusted to be truly parallel. Quite amazing!)

* Question: You always say "Let go", "Relax". I don't feel like I'm doing this very well. How do I "Let go"?

Answer: Your legs are weak. You need to develop more leg strength.

(And how do you develop leg strength? By letting go and relaxing as best you can and feeling the burn in your quadracep muscles. I've learned that "letting go" is not a one time event but rather a slow, evolving process of changing the entire body.

A little relax leads to a little drop which leads to a little increased leg strength which allows a little more relax which allows a little more drop which leads to a little more increased leg strength, which allows...)

* Focus on growing the apple tree and you'll get apples. (Don't focus on how to make an apple.)

Alignment = tree
Connection = sap
Peng = apple

(An interesting side note. One of my school brothers is learning some nice stuff. When he focuses on punching, he doesn't notice where he's breaking the feeling of connection. When he takes focus off of punching and notices and feels the connection, then the power of his punch increases. It's quite amazing to witness! When he shifts focus to the tree and sap, then he gets a better apple.)

* Saying, "Isn't that interesting" is the internal practice of keeping focused.

(I think this note came from a discussion about what to do during stance when the "monkey mind" starts reminding me of this and that. Recognize the thought with a dismissive "Isn't that interesting." and refocus on the body.)

* Question: What should I practice? There are so many exercises. There's so much to learn.

Answer: Follow through on original intention. Stick to one simple principle. Don't bounce around like the pinball ball.

* (Read the below group of notes about thankfulness and appreciation as notes from one discussion.)

* Question: When I do stance I can feel like a forcing down. Is that relax or force?

Answer: Appreciate. Allow. Trust the process. Nurture. Trust instead of forcing the process.

* Two different frames of the same experience:

I get this nice stretch on this side but can't get the same on this other side. Hmm... I wonder how I can get this same feeling on this other side...
Argh! I can't get this feeling! This is so frustrating!

* Thankfulness. Focus on the relaxation you do have and not on the tension spots or frustration at what you don't have.

* Be thankful when nothing happens. Something doesn't have to happen.

* An appreciative tone of voice creates a feeling of nurturing and trust.

* The more you appreciate them, the more they will appreciate for you. (In reference to noticing and appreciating tensions and pains in the body.) Never ignore and don't feed the "it hurts".

(A big part of my mechanistic problem-solving, trouble-shooting lifestyle was finding the problem and then fixing it. If I couldn't find it or fix it, I'd get frustrated. I certainly never appreciated nor was thankful for problems nor approached problems as learning opportunities! This find-n-fix approach didn't work well for me when I applied it in my zhan zhuang practice. The above notes are a portion of a longer-term project to change my approach. I think this is one example of what people say that practicing zhan zhuang can change your life.)

* Many teachers make the mistake of teaching where they are at when they should teach where the student is at. Beginners need very practical advice. An advanced answer is not wrong but it will be misinterpreted by the beginner. Sometimes it's better to tell a "lie" that is true to the level of understanding of the student. Then, when the student can grasp the more advanced answer, then tell the truth.

(From my experience, beginners reading books written by masters about their master-level experience just messes up the beginner. While a master can read and understand a book by another master, the beginner doesn't even know what s/he is reading nor is aware that the novice level of understanding will completely distort and misinterpret the master-level practice.)

For example, the practice of small circulation may be a master level exercise but I don't think this is a functional exercise for the beginner who doesn't even have a rudimentary level of relax and open and feeling of kinesthetic connectedness.)

* After you feel the fascial connection, then you can start bending the rules/methods which have grounded you to this point.

(I think this is an example of lies and truth. In truth, you don't have to maintain your structure (as in the Wujifa 1,2,3,4 ; 1,2,3,4) to maintain connection and peng. I've seen my instructor contort his body into some pretty messed up positions and he still maintains connection and cannot be pushed. However, telling this truth to a beginner will not help his/her development. So it's better to "lie", to say what is true at the level of understanding of the student because this will best serve the student where s/he is at that time.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: No Shortcuts: Journal Notes #48
Next article in this series: You Can't Force Relax: Journal Notes #50

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

No Shortcuts: Journal Notes #48

2011-07-18T10:00:00.075-04:00

Notes from my July 2007 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: I'm frustrated that this is taking so long. Is there a way to speed up the process?

Answer: Don't force it. Allow yourself to shift and grow. Don't try to rush your development. Don't look for shortcuts. There aren't any. Stick with the basics. Stand and relax and notice.

* Why can't I just get a single "big shift" to get "the feeling" and be done with it?

Answer: Small adjustments in the body have big results. Think of two laser pointers differing by only a fraction of an inch at the source are miles apart at some distant point. Small shifts now can result in big changes later.

(The old saying, "Rome wasn't built in a day." applies here. I had at least a couple issues going on then: 1. I was looking for a special feeling, "the feeling" which blinded me to 2. I wasn't able to notice the incremental results that the many small adjustments were having on my body over time.

Were I able to relax even my attachment to the idea of needing to get "the feeling", and simply notice the day-to-day kinesthetic changes, I might have progressed a little quicker and I probably would have never asked these questions.

This is another example of how questions can reveal where someone is in their training and development.)

* Question: I've noticed a wide variety of kinesthetic sensations over the years and you say these are mere road signs. Are any of these useful for anything or should I just ignore them all?

Answer: The useful sensations will help you notice where tensions are. (Tension = stuck point.)

(The "road sign" analogy helped me get a functional perspective on the various "Qi feelings" so I will repeat it here.

Early in my practice I learned that feeling kinesthetic feelings of tingling or warmth when doing the Tai chi form or various Qi gong exercises were an indication of having a high level practice and so were a goal to achieve in and of itself. (Achieving this fed my ego. I felt special.)

When I got into the School of Cultivation and Practice, I learned that these kinesthetic feelings are not the destination but are merely road signs that I am on the journey. (I didn't feel so special anymore).

The road sign analogy is driving from Chicago to Disneyland. When you see the sign, "Disneyland 1000 miles", you don't stop and say you've reached your destination. When you see the sign, "Disneyland 500 miles", you don't stop and say you've reached your destination. When you see the sign, "Disneyland 10 miles", you don't stop and say you've reached your destination. The road signs are not the destination.

The various and changing "Qi feelings" are like these various and changing road signs. Just as the destination is not the road sign, so too, the destination is not "Qi feelings". The destination is Disneyland; the feeling of connectedness. "Qi feelings" are indications the body is opening and relaxing.

Opening and relaxing are the pre-requisite or pre-condition kinesthetics . "Qi feelings" are signposts indicating the internal environment is slowly changing. With diligent practice over time, opening and relaxing yields the opportunity for the discovery of feelings of connectedness. Discovering and strengthening these connections (with specific exercises) then develops into the kinesthetic quality known as internal strength. Finally, one's level of internal strength then depends on how deeply and how far one goes with this process.

Well, such is my understanding of the process at this point in my practice.)

* I've learned that the deeper I can feel into my own body, the deeper I can perceive into another person's body.

(The more I grow in being able to relax and feel, the more the martial application of relax and feel makes sense to me. For example, when I walk on the street, I can see some people who carry tension high in their shoulders. It is obvious to me that this person is not "sunk", rooted, grounded. And should an altercation ensue, I would probably have the better chance of unbalancing, uprooting that person. And if I can see this with my level of skill, imagine what grand masters can see!)

* Question: Isn't "noticing" the same thing as "being aware"? Isn't this just semantics?

Answer: Noticing means to be aware without judging. Some people tend to judge what they will be aware of. This is a good thing to be aware of and that is not. So be aware of this and ignore that. Also, "awareness" has become a loaded word. Simply notice what is there.

* Question: What is "sitting stance"? Is this something different from zhan zhuang?

Answer: In sitting stance, follow the same principles as zhan zhuang; sink your weight, push down with your feet and push up your head.

* If you shoot at the target but keep missing, you can make quicker progress if you shoot off target and come back rather than continually recalibrating.

(Sometimes in Wujifa class I get too serious; trying too hard. In these times, I'm instructed to do something silly and seemingly meaningless like shake all over or dance or make funny faces, and then go back to stance. This kind of pattern interrupt is like shooting off target. Then when I go back to practice, it's easier to hit the target; kind of like clicking the reset button.)

* I continue to have two different emotional feelings about practicing zhan zhuang:

I have to practice. I better practice.
I want to practice. I love to practice.

* Question: Talking about the Wujifa Relax, Structure, Balance triangle, aren't balance and relax kind of the same thing; when I'm balanced then I can relax and when I relax then I'm balanced?

Answer: Balance is a true-er form of relax. For example, in many people the thumb pulls up because it's too tense on the top side and too limp on the bottom side. In this case, it can be too difficult to find balance by simply saying, "Relax the top." so it's better to add tension on the limp side to pull the tight side. This is the balance of forces. With this method over time, the tight side will relax some and the limp side will tone up some. Now the two sides are more balanced but still some tension is involved. Now find balance where both sides relax equally in balance.

* Most people get stuck in one identity and lose flexibility. Putting on an identity opens doors to discovery.

* Question: What do you mean by "the trap"?

Answer: The trap is not being open to possibilities. So be open to possibilities.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Levels of Noticing: Journal Notes #47
Next article in this series: Appreciation and Thankfulness: Journal Notes #49

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Levels of Noticing: Journal Notes #47

2011-07-11T10:00:00.050-04:00

Notes from my May and June 2007 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: Why do the adjustments (to my zhan zhuang stance) that I receive week after week in class feel the same to me? Is nothing changing?

Answer: You're only able to notice at the level you can notice. Notice deeper then you'll notice the adjustments are not the same.

(What I was noticing was the external form of the adjustments. Because I couldn't notice nor track the more subtle kinesthetic changes occurring in my own body week to week, all I noticed was the external method. In fact, the adjustments worked with my body as it was at that time and so each adjustment was never truly the same.

I have learned that I can continue to receive the "same" adjustment over years of practice and as a result, develop a recognizable level of internal skill. The "same" adjustment continues to guide me to deeper and deeper levels of noticing and refinement.

Practice the ordinary until it becomes extra-ordinary. Practice the ordinary some more until it becomes extraordinary. What appears extraordinary to others is ordinary to me.

For example, in a recent Wujifa class, I received an adjustment and was told, "Ah, there's connection. How's that feel?" Well, I've had this kind of experience before and to me, the Holy Grail of internal strength, the feeling of whole body connectedness, feels like, well, nothing special. Quite ordinary.

Even though my body can now produce a recognizable level of connectedness, and I can somehow unconsciously do this, I'm currently having a difficult time conceptually identifying this "special" feeling in myself.

As I reflect on what I'm writing here, I see I'm still working through thinking that the feeling of connectedness should feel like "A" and I'm looking for "A" when I train but the feeling is really "B" and because "B" doesn't feel "special" to me, I mis-train. So here is another level of meaning of "Practice the ordinary." Noticing another level of ego getting in the way.)

* Question: How can I feel up and down my back in silk reeling?

Answer: Demonstration. Drop into legs and stretch the spine.

* Question: Is there a switch-over point in getting "the feeling"? Like, one day I don't have "the feeling" and then the next day, I have "the feeling"?

Answer: No. Developing the feeling is a smooth transition.

* (The following is a short conversation that occurred in a Wujifa class which carries a lot of information... depending on your level of noticing...)

Dan: (Demonstrating stance) I feel stuck here (pointing to a spot on his shoulder). How do I un-stick that?

Me: Wow! How did you come up with that kind of question? How can you feel so you recognize a feeling of stuck-ness? How does stuck feel?

Dan: I notice where I relax, then notice where I'm not relaxing.

Rick: A different perspective that Dan hadn't considered is feeling how the entire scapula moves and how the lack of noticing that contributed to the only thing he did notice.

(OK. So here is why this short conversation is so important to me:

This represents typical Wujifa class conversations between the different levels of students - different in the levels at which they notice or don't notice their own internal kinesthetics.

This conversation clearly shows where I was in my practice. Dan's question was internally, kinesthetically based whereas my questions were more external, method based questions.

As time passed and my practice and questions shifted to be more kinesthetically based, I became more able to notice where other people were in their practice by the questions they asked. I've seen remarkable changes in Wujifa practitioners' bodies and in the corresponding types of questions they ask.

This old lesson is contributing to my practice today: Where am I relaxed? Where am I not relaxed, stuck? What is the "bigger picture" that I'm not noticing that is contributing to the only thing I can notice?

The more advanced the practitioner, the more that s/he can notice in the less practiced student.)

* If you're not honest with yourself, you'll never find the way out.

(This little sentence can easily be read "philosophically" and dismissed. However, reading it functionally, I think it becomes a companion to the saying, "You are where you are and that's where you start.")

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Shifts Happen: Journal Notes #46
Next article in this series: No Shortcuts: Journal Notes #48

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Tai-Chi Memories: My Meeting with Gabriel Chin

2011-07-08T17:34:00.002-04:00

In the mid-1990's, after I returned to Michigan from my first trip to China, and before I began training with The School of Cultivation and Practice, I periodically joined Gabriel Chin's group and also practiced push-hands with a couple of his students.

On one occasion, after a practice session, Gabriel invited a few of us students, Bruce, another fellow whose name I don't remember now, and myself, to his home. While there Gabriel answered our questions about Tai-chi, Qi and Qigong.

The most memorable experience of this visit was when he demonstrated the difference between limp, muscle and Qi.

He held out his hand and said, "Squeeze my hand. This is limp." I squeezed and his hand compressed in mine. He then said, "Squeeze my hand. This is strength." I squeezed and his hand felt hard, not compressing, but more like a firm hand-shake. He then said, "Squeeze my hand. This is Qi." I squeezed but could not. It felt like his hand had filled with something. It appeared relaxed but was not limp. It was solid but not hard. It was more like a gel balloon where the harder I squeezed, the less I could squeeze.

Each of us took our turns squeezing his "three hands" and needless to say, we were awed and inspired to ask more questions. At this writing, I can't remember what those questions or answers were but the memory of his openness to sharing and teaching has stuck with me.

I've not yet been able to do what he demonstrated to us that day. I am where I am and that's OK. Maybe one day that quality will show up as a by-product of my practice.

* * * * * * * *

If you'd like to learn more about Gabriel Chin, check out the following resources:

Nei Jia Quan: Internal Martial Arts Teachers of Tai Ji Quan, Xing Yi Quan, and Ba Gua Zhang [Paperback], Jess O'Brien (Editor) 2004. See Chapter 2, "Gabriel Chin".

Gabriel Chin T'ai Chi DVD

Gabriel Ching Chin, who for decades held open-air T'ai Chi sessions on the University of Michigan campus, died Monday, March 28, 2005 at age of 84. Chin led the sessions at the Cube in front of the U-M Administration Building several times a week in all kinds of weather, canceling only for rainstorms. This class is free in the absolute sense anyone can join in, he said in 1994. There's no charge, no roll call and no uniform. He also was a poet, singer, a fine cook and an interpreter of Chinese. Read the entire article...

Free tai chi classes become a Sunday morning tradition
By Seth Gordon, The Ann Arbor News, July 03, 2008

Situated in front of the University of Michigan's Administration Building in Regents' Plaza may not seem like a martial arts dojo.
But for more than 30 years, Ann Arbor residents have gathered near the spinning cube on Sunday mornings to learn and practice tai chi.
The tradition was started by Gabriel Chin and handed down to 36-year-old Scio Township resident Chad Eisner, who took over leading the sessions a few years before Chin's death in 2005. ....
"One of the things (Chin) accentuated to me was he could show me stuff - do this, do that - but it's my practice so I have to make it my own," Eisner said. "Everybody has to take care of their own practice. I can tell you as much as I know, but I can't do it for you. You have to make it your own." Read the entire article...

I recently contacted Chad, and as of July 2011, you can still join in the free Tai chi practice on Sunday morning, 9:00 a.m. at "the Cube" on the University of Michigan's central campus.

Shifts Happen: Journal Notes #46

2011-07-04T10:00:00.027-04:00

Notes from my April 2007 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: Are there levels to learning Zhan Zhuang Qi Gong and if so, what are they?

Answer: Developing internal strength through zhan zhuang is very simple, just stand and relax, but many people can't work at this high a level.
Highest level: Stand and relax.
Next level: Stand, notice where you are holding, and relax.
Next level: Stand, follow rules (1,2,3,4; 1,2,3,4), notice where you're holding, and relax.
Next level: Stand, follow rules (1,2,3,4; 1,2,3,4), teacher points out where you're holding, you notice what teacher points out to you, and relax.

(When I first started Wujifa Zhan Zhuang, I certainly did "advance" through each level. However, even though my practice now is more at a "higher" level, when I'm at Wujifa class, then I welcome practicing at the "lowest" level. So these levels are not necessarily something to advance through and never revisit but rather are something to advance through and then go back and revisit and refine... of course, at a different level...)

* Question: How should I use, "Where the mind goes, the Qi follows."?

Answer: If you focus on the shoulder, the Qi will get stuck in the shoulder. If you focus on dropping the elbow, this will open the shoulder.

* Question: How can I develop a feeling of the connection through my back?

Answer: Practice the head-dropping exercise. For this, you need to isolate the hip joint - do not rotate on the hip joint. Roll from the top vertebra etc and only go as far as your tension allows you to go. The point is to feel the fascial stretch. It is not a competition to see how far you can go. Let the head hang. Then slowly roll back up.

(This is trickier than it looks and you might do it wrong if you try it just from this explanation. The first "trick" is to not move the hips. When I first tried this, I couldn't feel into my hips enough to know when I was or wasn't moving them. My teacher had to point this out. Once I stabilized my hips, I actually bent over a lot less. This left me feeling like I wasn't doing anything which is another "trick" - doing the actual exercise and not the exercise to satisfy the ego.

Another "trick" is feeling the connectedness of the stretch. It took me a long time to notice the connectedness feeling EVEN WHEN my instructor said he could see me doing it! Remember, relax is not limp! It's not go limp and stretch. There's another quality involved.

I think this is another great example of how a seemingly simple exercise can actually be part of and lead to a high level practice.)

* This month, I attended my first John Wingert (Mr. 20/20) seminar called, "Reformat Your Hard Drive - Live Your Vision Weekend", April 21-22, 2007 at his home in western Pennsylvania. I attended with Rick and Dan from the Wujifa school.

(These are my "data" notes that I later wrote in my training journal for this month. Sadly, I did not save my original notes. While the overall effect was a "shift", I did not record the feeling experience of that weekend. The beauty and application of this kind of experience to zhan zhuang training for me is in its eliciting a "shift", getting me "unstuck", kind of like Rolfing for "the mind" which creates openings and opportunities to notice where I couldn't notice before.)

This seminar focused on patterning. Noticing and changing patterning.

Everyone has their own unconscious patterning; their way of doing things. The way you perceive the world generates stories. Stories generate problems. Problems entice you to create solutions. So you wind up finding solutions to problems created by stories but you never get to changing the underlying patterning.

Patterning leads to Stories which leads to Problems which leads to Solutions. People tend to get stuck in the Problem-Solution loop.

(A note about stories from another perspective. Stories create a sense of continuity and hence, a sense of emotional safety. New experiences either fit or don't fit the story. If a new experience does not fit the story, we tend to reject the experience to maintain the story (and the sense of safety) rather than modify the story to incorporate the new experience.)

Focus on the process. The content is irrelevant.

If what you are doing is not giving you the desired results, then do anything else.

There's very little difference between real and imagined memory. Use your personal history (your story) as a resource instead of as a limitation. The only thing that happened is I made a set of perceptions about an event and those perceptions were formed by earlier perceptions, which were formed by earlier perceptions, etc... So pick any event that occurred, look at the "raw" event, strip away the perceptions around that event, and imagine new perceptions. Create a new story, a new personal history. Be open to more choices. Made up memories can change just as easily as arbitrarily assigned perceptions.

Shifts happen.

* Question: At the John Wingert Seminar, he mentioned I would benefit from being in contrary or ambiguous situations. What are these?

Answer: Things that you don't want to do and may be afraid to do. Put yourself "out there". Declare a different identity. Wear a button with words on it. Do silk reeling in the park where everyone can see you. Basically, step out of your routine, out of your rut, out of your comfort/confinement zone. Do something contrary or ambiguous for what you consider "normal" or "acceptable" for your story.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Getting Up and Down: Journal Notes #45
Next article in this series: Levels of Noticing: Journal Notes #47

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Getting Up and Down: Journal Notes #45

2011-06-27T10:00:00.051-04:00

Notes from my March 2007 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

*Question: I think I've got a better feeling of sink and push-up. Am I doing it right? Please verify.

Answer: Yes. Better. Continue 1,2,3,4 ; 1,2,3,4 and practice noticing all together at the same time instead of individually as you have been doing. Get the up-and-down feeling and keep that feeling as you sink further and adjust.

* Question: When I practice side-to-side, I noticed I can get the push up feeling even from the empty leg. What's the best way to practice? Should I be pushing up only from the weighted leg or also from the empty leg? Should the Yin leg really be empty of everything?

Answer: For where you are now, practice the up-and-down feeling on the weighted leg and practice the push-up on the empty leg. Using the Yin-Yang concept is a useful distinction for you at this level. But functionally, when you maintain push-up from both feet regardless of which has the weight, then you really are no longer playing Yin and Yang. When you are no longer Yin-Yang, then you are Wuji.

* Question: I haven't seen (on-line) any other zhan zhuang teachers talk about structure like you do. What's the reason for the Wujifa 1,2,3,4 ; 1,2,3,4?

Answer: The reason for 1,2,3,4 is to maximize a natural relaxing. For example, if the heels are wider than the shoulders, then the inner thigh muscles tighten, the gluteal muscles tighten and the femur heads roll back. To a beginner, there is so much chronic tension that this tightening is largely imperceptible but there nonetheless. Only with practiced relaxing can you begin to notice these more subtle differences.

Learning to stand in a zhan zhuang position using 1,2,3,4 ; 1,2,3,4 can show us how and where we are holding. The more you relax and let go in yourself, the more you can see holding and letting go in others.

(This note came out of a self-demonstration. I remember being told to stand with my feet a little wider than shoulder width and while in this posture, it was pointed out to me which muscles were engaged in this structure and how those same muscles relaxed in the 1,2,3,4 structure. Very interesting!)

* Question: What do you mean that Tai-chi has only two movements: Expand and Contract?

Answer: Seek elongation in all movement. Most people who come to practice Tai-chi are chronically contracted. Rather than learning forms in their contracted state, their first practice should focus on learning relax, expand, elongate. After you learn relax, expand, elongate, then you will understand contract. Then you will experience for yourself that Tai-chi moves are variations of these two kinesthetic feelings.

Question: How can I practice walking with opening and closing the kua in my daily life?

Answer: Don't jump ahead to what you're not ready for. Stick to exploring one thing very deeply then you will discover the answer to the question you are asking.

(See? I was just getting a feel for the up-and-down and I wanted to go do something else. A big part of training for me is keeping me focused on where I'm at.)

* Question: So, I've learned I could never have gotten any of this from reading books and watching video tutorials. So what's the use of books and videos if I really can't learn this from books and videos?

Answer: Those who do not know will try to learn from someone else' notes. Once you know, then you learn from yourself, refine yourself. After you are learning from yourself, then when you read someone else' notes, you will know who is authentically describing the feeling and who is just mouthing words to fool those who do not know.

* At the Wujifa school there is a little battery operated Yoda who sometimes wakes up and provides words of wisdom. Today's Yoda quote was: "Do or Do Not. There is no try."

From the 1977 Star Wars scene where Yoda is training Luke in using the Force:

Luke: We'll never get it out now.
Yoda: So certain are you. Always with you, it cannot be done. Do you nothing that I say?
Luke: Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different.
Yoda: No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.
Luke: Alright, I'll give it a try.
Yoda: No! Try not! Do, or do not. There is no try.

(There's a couple gems in this little scene.

I've come to learn that "try" is an excuse to allow for and may even set up the opportunity for failure. "I tried to stand for an hour but I just couldn't - it was too hard. But I tried."

I can now feel that there is a difference in the underlying intention of try vs. do. "I'm going to try to stand an hour." vs. "I'm going to stand an hour." The more I practice, the more clear intention becomes to me.

What I've learned about unlearning... This can refer to undoing habits or patterns of thinking and moving. The biggest obstacle to my learning internal strength through the Wujifa system has been all the other stuff I previously learned. I had to do a lot of "unlearning". Sometimes, I learn what I unlearned but it's not what I learned - kind of the same words, but a totally different understanding.)

* Question: What does a good training program look like?

Answer: At this point in your practice, Mike, your standard training should be:
One hour stance in the morning.
One hour stance in the evening.
One hour side-to-side and silk reeling.

(As I write the post, I'm feeling like I'm the worst student at the Wujifa school. If I really, really followed the training regimen laid out four years ago, I could be so much further along than I am!

As I've probably mentioned before, my pattern, which is not uncommon, is to pull back after I breakthrough to even more feeling. I take two steps forward and one step back. At some point though, I will need to grow past even this pattern.)

* Question: I've noticed how speech patterns can be kind of "locked-in" like a chronic muscular tension. How do you change a speech pattern?

Answer: Most people are stuck in one pattern. It can be difficult to notice your own speech patterns and replace them with other patterns. Anything can be framed any way. To begin playing with this, use a coin toss to frame any event as positive or negative.

* Establish a strong intention of what you want. Pick one thing. Keep a notebook. Don't get distracted.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Match and Mismatch: Journal Notes #44
Next article in this series: Shifts Happen: Journal Notes #46

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Match and Mismatch: Journal Notes #44

2011-06-20T10:00:00.066-04:00

Notes from my February 2007 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: I've noticed in recent months that you've been adjusting my structure differently than in the past. Is this a different level of 1,2,3,4?

Answer: 1,2,3,4 is always the same. Now you're feeling and adjusting at deeper levels. As you relax and open the hips, you're getting more movement in the hips and relying less on the knees and ankles as a virtual hip joint. So the adjustments are in response to how your body is changing.

(In the most recent Wujifa class I attended, I noticed there were even fewer and less frequent adjustments to my physical structure. Rather, the more frequent "adjustment" was my instructor asking me, "OK, where are you now?"

For me, the increasing levels of feeling, of being present in my body is so overwhelming that "I" disconnect "psychologically". This is an armor that also shows up in other areas of my life. I tend to externalize and rationalize certain emotions rather than fully engage and experience them internally in the present moment. Stance practice is a great place to notice this and a safe place to work on integrating these aspects.

In my own stance practice, I am able to notice when I'm already disconnected and then when I reconnect but I'm not yet able to notice the moment when I disconnect or at a more subtle level, what prompts "me" to disconnect. This is one area I continue working on.)

* Regarding the way people sort or process information, here's how I understand "Match and Mismatch".

According to NLP, people run different meta-programs. What I'm calling "Match" is what traditional NLP calls "Sameness sorting", people who look for similarities. In "Difference sorting", people look for differences. Mismatch is a third type of sorting sometimes called "Same-ness/Difference sorting."

When I run "Match", I dismiss the uniqueness and value of a new experience by categorizing it as being the same as a similar previous experience. By claiming sameness, there's nothing new to discover in the current experience. Notice. Analyze. Match. Done. Next.

(I've discovered that I tend to run "match". While useful in some situations, when it comes to stance, this is another way I use to disconnect from the present moment; it's the same as 'X', so I don't really have to be here now. My tendency to do this is also a factor in why it is taking me so long to develop internal strength.

That said, "Match" is not bad when it comes to taking care of "To Do" lists. However, if it's the only meta-program I run, then it can become a sticky point.)

* Question: Don't I want to run "match" in stance, for example, always find and go to the "sunk" or "drop" feeling?

Answer: In stance, always run mismatch. Your stance is never the same from one session to the next. If you can notice at a fine enough level, even your feeling of drop changes each time you practice. Your body changes with every practice session. And in between practice sessions, your body also changes. It's a false mental construct to think you can duplicate the exact same feeling as last time.

* Question: How to work with counter moving forces? When I sink and push up, these cancel each other. How do I do both completely and simultaneously?

Answer: This is a phase you're going through. Once you notice down, you assume up must be the opposite. You assume both are distinct because you're working in a Yin-Yang paradigm. When you feel both as one feeling, then you'll have jumped out of the Yin-Yang paradigm and tasted the Wujifa paradigm.

(The sinking feeling is my noticing my muscles relaxing which creates a stretching kind of feeling as gravity pulls my softer, relaxed muscles down off my skeleton which by comparison, does not move. Pushing up from the heels is a trick to help notice the feeling of the skeletal structure, so I don't develop a collapsed structure. Remember, relaxed is not limp. Relaxing simultaneously creates a sinking and pushing up feeling, however, only focusing on the sinking, I can't feel the raising/pushing up feeling. Noticing both arising together...)

* When I practice at home, I can't hit that "sweet spot" that I'm guided to while in class. The place I get to in class then becomes my goal to try to repeat during the week in my own practice.

(In Wujifa class, I will receive adjustments that can take me five steps ahead of what I'm capable of producing on my own. It's like I'm shown what lies ahead. And then in my own practice, I try to recreate that kinesthetic memory, which I can't really do because "me" or "my body" really isn't ready to sustain that level yet.

For example, in a recent Wujifa class, I got to a point in stance, with minimal adjustments, that yielded a similar feeling of "intense presence" and connectedness that I felt about three years ago with a lot of adjustments. Three years ago, the feeling completely overwhelmed me; "blew my mind". This time it was a little more familiar and comfortable except that I couldn't stay with it.)

* Question: Is the Dan Tian feeling I got last time something to strive for?

Answer: No. The feeling of the Dan Tian will arise naturally through your regular practice.

(Here's another example of my tendency to want to match my present practice experience to an experience in the past. In this case, by inquiring about whether I should force myself to find a feeling based on where my body was yesterday, last week, last month...

It's easy for me to get stuck trying to force a feeling I heard or read about, or have some mental concept about, or I get stuck on trying to recreate a feeling I once experienced. For me, it's more challenging to stay present, work at the level I'm at and notice how the feeling keeps changing and evolving.)

* Question: Is the feeling of connection more kinesthetic or more a general awareness?

Answer: You're asking from a Yin-Yang perspective. Jump out of this.

(Again, I was looking to try to match the feeling I didn't yet feel to some concept or other feeling I once had instead of being present in training and noticing, and trying to describe whatever feeling I'm noticing. When I tried describing recently what I was feeling, I was told, "What you're trying to describe is the feeling of connectedness.")

* The body remembers the energetic experience but the memory assigns different meaning to that over time. Strip away the meaning you've assigned and get to the feeling experience.

(For me, another problem with "match" is that I tend to match to concepts and meanings assigned to kinesthetics and so my trying to match to a kinesthetic feeling will usually be mistaken. "Match" always works with the past. I make the most progress when I am present.)

* The terms "open" and "closed" depend on which art names the feeling. The point is to be able to feel and do both and not get caught up arguing semantics.

* The clearer the purpose, the better the teacher will be.

* We read a children's story in class: Hou Yi Learns Archery. What I got from this story is that a teacher can teach you the skills but cannot give you the experience in applying those skills. You have to gain experience on your own.

* Question: What's the difference between bracing and internal strength? Pushing against two people, one using brace and one using internal strength, both feel the same to me.

Answer: Bracing means to line up the structure so it is rigid and strong in one direction. The problem with this is that if you are pushed (take a force) from off-point of the brace, then you are weak and have to re-adjust the brace to that direction. True internal strength is more like an egg in that it has strength in all directions. The entire structure can take pressure from any direction.

(From my experience, bracing is the easier internal skill to master. However strong bracing is, brace is not the real internal strength. The more I practice, the clearer the distinction becomes as my instructor points out to me when I am using brace and when I'm using the real internal strength. I tend to fall back and rely on brace when the incoming force overwhelms what my fledgling and weak internal strength can ground.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Circle of Influence: Journal Notes #43
Next article in this series: Getting Up and Down: Journal Notes #45

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Circle of Influence: Journal Notes #43

2011-06-13T10:00:00.055-04:00

Notes from my January 2007 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: What's the best way to use curiosity? Is it OK to follow curiosity wherever it may lead me or is it better to stick with a disciplined plan?

Answer: In your case, Mike, where your approach has been, "I've got a problem to fix. Where's the problem?" then yes, following curiosity is a step to the playfulness that leads to progress.

(This theme of "playfulness" in practice will be revisited in upcoming entries. What I've learned is that I tend to approach zhan zhuang practice too seriously, with too much focus on identifying a problem and fixing it (relaxing the tension). My approach was: "Tell me the steps to develop internal strength. I'll practice those steps. I'll develop internal strength." Well, I discovered that it doesn't exactly work that way. This attitude in and of itself has a kind of rigidity and tension to it. So I've struggled with how much focus, curiosity, playfulness is enough and in what measure and balance.

As we were discussing at a recent Wujifa class, it's the difference between a technician, a craftsman and an artist. I'm at the craftsman level - with my Wujifa Zhan Zhuang practice - but to really "get" internal strength, I need to jump to the artist level.)

* Question: I've noticed up and down and have been playing with that. Any suggestions on what to do with this, on how to develop this?

Answer: What you're calling "down" is sinking or dropping the Qi. So that's a big step. One problem with your "down" is that your "up" looks dead. You need to keep the top alive. Don't hold down. Don't push down. If down then allow up. When down, then push up with the feet and legs. Play with down/sunk lowering legs then raising up. As you've discovered, the up comes after the down.

* Question: I've been relaxing my lower back which feels like a pushing out as opposed to the usual tightness and this has created pain. but not bad pain. I've been able to extend this feeling up my back as well. Am I hurting myself or is this part of the process?

Answer: You're using strength (force) as a "medicine" to feel the fascial connections. This is OK in the short term to get the feeling of fascial connection but don't get stuck on or addicted to the method of using strength. Remember, the method is not the truth. Once you get the feeling, get rid of the method.

(This is such a good point! Using force/strength/muscular tension to get an isolated feeling of connectedness is like the finger pointing at the moon because using strength violates the principle of relax. If you can feel connectedness with force, look for a "similar" feeling when relaxed. And remember, relax is not limp. The relaxed connected feeling will be different from the forced connected feeling. Different elements are at play with each method.)

* Question: What can I do to help loosen the ocular block?

Answer: Play with moving the forehead: raise and lower the eyebrows, smile and frown with the forehead. Practice expressing emotions with your face.

(An "ocular block" is a physical manifestation of chronic muscular tension or flaccidity around the eyes. An ocular block functions much like horse blinders by limiting one's field of vision. It is commonly noticed by no or limited movement in facial expressions around the eyes as opposed to every spoken word being accompanied by an emotional facial expression. (Some arts don't care about ocular blocks, in fact, some arts strive to block facial emotional expression and not notice. Think of the "poker face" as an example.) In Wujifa, simply noticing muscular tensions and developing fascial connections will lead to noticing subtleties such as noting muscular tensions around the eyes, jaw, etc...)

* I've come to understand that the various Qigong exercises are designed to work on specific problem areas, to open chronic tightness in specific areas. To the extent that each person has their own unique pattern of chronic tightness, a teacher must understand the purpose of a Qigong exercise and "prescribe" that exercise to that individual. It is not the best practice to "carte blanche" have an entire class or group all do the same Qigong exercises, unless of course, the individuals in the class all have some degree of the same problem.

(My understanding then wasn't quite complete or accurate. There are general Qigongs, for example, Eight Pieces of Brocade, Five Rites, etc., which benefit almost everyone and then there are specific Qigongs designed to be applied as "medicines".

In Wujifa, practitioners are given specific exercises to overcome certain problems, for example, a person who has a problem with the chest collapsing or hunching will do the "Atlas Holds Up the World" posture which rolls the shoulders back and opens the chest.)

* Question: Why don't we practice "Holding the Ball" like I see most other zhan zhuang styles?

Answer: Regarding the various zhan zhuang styles where the arms are held up at shoulder level, most of these positions are for advanced practitioners. If the beginner tries these, he'll focus too much on and develop too much tension in the shoulders when the primary focus should be on relaxing and sinking the weight.

Beginners should practice zhan zhuang with the arms hanging down at the side (elbows near the floating rib) with only forearms held up, parallel to the floor with wrists and hands relaxed. This takes the focus off the shoulders to allow the mind to focus on relaxing and dropping the weight into the legs.

(I, Mike's ego, struggled with this 'form' of zhan zhuang for a long time. If I'm "Holding The Ball", then I can brag about doing something special, "I'm practicing Holding the Ball Qigong". The problem is that the focus is misplaced on doing something special instead of on relaxing. This particular stance felt really dumb and mundane to my ego that wanted "special". I had to learn this lesson.)

* Question: What is the relation between the persuasion or hypnotism arts like NLP and the martial arts?

Answer: Remember the original Star Wars movie from 1977? See the YouTube clip: "These are not the droids you are looking for. ... The Force can have a strong influence on the weak minded."

(I completely did not understand this Star Wars scene and asked about this old journal entry at a recent Wujifa class. I think I have a clearer understanding now. Look for a separate, upcoming post about this particular scene.)

* My questions have tended to be outside the range of where I'm currently capable of practicing. And so I was introduced to a concept from Steven Covey's The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, namely, The Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern. I've been putting my attention on concerns that I cannot currently influence. It would be better for me to put my attention on what I can influence and grow my "Circle of Influence" until it reaches my "Circle of Concern".

(If you haven't seen the book, here's a adaptation which illustrates this concept. Yeah, it can be tough to admit to yourself, "You are where you are and that's where you start." My thinker thought I was at a high level but my body was actually at a beginner level. I think I didn't start making any real progress until I got in sync with where my body was; recognizing my circle of influence.)

* The first 1,2,3,4 - the poles - is a method for the beginner to help begin to feel and to pay attention to structure. (See the Wujifa Zhan Zhuang Alignment article.) The feeling of the poles is a feeling of alignment. If you told the beginner to feel and connect, this truth would get diluted because it's too much to feel. So you use a visual image as a reference point to set up a feeling, a structure that develops without the student being aware of it at a deeper feeling level.

* Question: I noticed that I can feel my lower back and my neck but not so much inbetween. What's up with that? Is this normal?

Answer: Yes. The stages of developing feeling in the back go like this (see drawing):

* Some say a Wujifa teacher gives each student a piece of the puzzle so the students must work together to understand or see the whole. Rather, a good Wujifa teacher will give each student what that student needs for his/her purpose. So of course, each student will have a different understanding which may help the other student at some point.

* Saying, "The method is not the truth, once you get the feeling, get rid of the method." implies that the method is a lie. So, teach lies that point to the truth. The finger is not the moon.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Changing My Diet: Journal Notes #42
Next article in this series: Match and Mismatch: Journal Notes #44

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Regrets of the Dying and Zhan Zhuang Practice

2011-06-10T08:43:00.011-04:00

In the middle of doing my Wujifa Zhan Zhuang standing practice the other morning, the morning radio DJs ran down a list of the Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware.

How do these regrets speak to me? To me, the theme of these regrets revolves around feeling and connecting.

I came from a place where I was pretty emotionally shut down and disengaged. My desire to develop internal strength led me to practice Wujifa zhan zhuang which has pushed me to feel (feeling kinesthetics, feeling emotions), and to connect (connecting kinesthetically, connecting emotionally).

Here is an excerpt from her article:

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I didn't work so hard.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Read the entire article which includes her comments under each item.

I resonated more with items 1, 3, and 5 than with 2 and 4. How about you?

I'm glad I heard about this list now as I was certainly on the road to having these same regrets. It's been a difficult road for me to walk this road of feeling and connecting but I'm finding life is more interesting and in a different way as I slowly change from being zombie-like to being more alive.

Feel and connect!

Happy practicing everyone!

Changing My Diet: Journal Notes #42

2011-06-06T10:18:00.008-04:00

Notes from my November-December 2006 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang.. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

(There were no notes for October 2006 and very few notes for November and December, so these months' notes are combined here.)

* Question: Does my diet, what I eat, contribute in any way to developing internal strength?
Answer: Eating habits determine energy level. For example, eating a raw, live-food diet yields the highest energy levels. Eating habits can contribute to improvements in stance but following any particular diet is not required.

(I think what's interesting about eating habits is noticing how my body feels when I change my habit. For example, when I gave up sugar, I had strong cravings for sugar - I call it sugar withdrawal. When I was growing and juicing my own wheat grass, a mere ounce of wheat grass juice gave me a jolt of energy which felt qualitatively different from the energy of a larger amount of a sugar-caffeine drink.

So while eating a certain way will neither contribute to nor detract from developing internal strength, for me personally, noticing the results of my eating habits has given me a lot of insights into how my body works. For example, eating a good amount of fiber in the morning can help me out in the afternoon.)

* Question: What do I do with all these different kinesthetic feelings I'm noticing? Is there some progression or something?
Answer: The progression is something like this:

Noticing individual feelings (for example, local fascial stretch, tension, relax, numb, etc.).
Connecting fascial pathways (refer to Anatomy Trains).
Discovering how one feeling contributes to another feeling.

* The question came up again, How long should I stand each day? Answer:

First twenty minutes for health.
Second twenty to forty minutes for health and development.
Third forty to sixty minutes for development.

* In class, I was given repeated postural adjustments and I was able to feel where one kua muscle was relaxed in a previously incorrect posture and how another muscle worked harder when moved into the correct posture while the relaxed muscle was relaxed. The trick was to keep the relaxed muscle relaxed. The "activated" muscle was not strong enough to do the work alone. I noticed/got a much clearer feeling and understanding of what "relaxed" in the kua area means. I have something very specific to work on. Very, very cool!

* There is a difference between looking at and copying a movement based on sight (structure) vs. copying the feeling that gives energy to the structure.

(In the internal arts like Qi-gong, Silk Reeling, Tai-chi, Ba-gua and Xing-yi, many teachers only teach the external, mechanical movement and not surprisingly, many students only see and learn the external, mechanical movement. However, the real stuff is in the feeling; noticing what the body is doing to create the external, mechanical movement. It took me a long time to develop an "eye" for this.)

* Question: What does it mean to use the knee as a hip joint?
Answer: Using the knee as a hip joint means that the knee and lower back move but the hips stay locked in place due to chronic muscular tension.

(The first time I heard this, it made absolutely no sense to me, and for a long time after. However, the more I practice and deal with my own tensions as well as seeing tensions in others, the more I understand what this means; it's as if the upper femur and pelvis are fused into one bone which leaves the knee and lower back to function as a hinge instead of hinging at the hips.)

* Having flexibility in the hip allows you to use the hip to sink the weight without having to go into a lower stance, bending deeper with the knees.

(Another problem with tight hips that I experienced is that adjustments to my structure to get my weight to drop into my legs typically resulted in my "ratcheting down" with each adjustment. I've since learned that low stance is not required to sink the weight but the hips need to be more relaxed.)

* "Fascial stretch" are words used to describe a feeling that cannot be adequately described.

* Question: Do I have to resolve all my problems and get rid of all my armors to get internal strength?
Answer: Resolving problems, dissolving armoring is not required to get the basic structure, however, doing so does contribute to reducing the time it takes to develop good structure.

(Rolfing massage therapy has done wonders for improving my structure! I highly recommend this!)

* Question: What about using affirmations to help develop internal strength?
Answer: For most people, reciting affirmations doesn't work because there's no feeling underlying or energizing the words.

* Question: How does the old Bible verse, "Ask and you shall receive." apply in this practice?
Answer: If you read for data, you will get data. If you read for feeling, you will get feeling. You get what you are looking for.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Not the Usual Child's Play: Journal Notes #41
Next article in this series: Circle of Influence: Journal Notes #43

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Not the Usual Child's Play: Journal Notes #41

2011-05-30T10:00:00.063-04:00

Notes from my September 2006 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* To play with and in stance means to play like a child plays - very focused, very involved, very free with what they will try. There are no "Shouldn'ts" or "Can'ts" shaping their scripts. They don't yet know "to experiment" because they haven't yet been locked in.

(I've heard it said that enlightenment is over-rated. For me, it seems like most of the work in zhan zhuang is very mundane; discovering and releasing patterns that have been laid on over the years. Sometimes, as in the most recent Wujifa class I attended, playing like a child can help find the feeling of internal connectedness; not the usual child's play.)

* If you could have any life you wanted, what would you want? Does that match what and where you are now? If not, why not?

(There are some aspects of my life I am satisfied with and some I am not. I used to complain about those unsatisfactory aspects. Then it occurred to me, living in this time and place free of external coercion, I must have wanted what I now have.

I'm discovering that it's my wanting to follow my rules that keep me locked into the aspects that are not satisfactory. In that way, I want even what I don't want. It seems twisted but grounds the responsibility in me instead of blaming some outside entity or supposing some mystical reason.)

* Notice! You can't change what you don't notice. Once you notice a behavior, an attitude, a structural position, then you have the power to change it.

(I agree that I can't change what I don't notice, but simply noticing doesn't always immediately empower me to change what I noticed. Sometimes, it can feel like the power lies with what I noticed. And then too, sometimes it can take a while to develop the physical strength or will power to effect a change.

Whether a change happens immediately like an earthquake or transitions over a longer period of time like water shaping landscape, noticing changes everything.)

* Questions reveal the level at which a person is working.

(In some Wujifa classes, we students may ask questions from our personal lives that are outside the formal Wujifa practice.

This month (September 2006), I asked about a feeling I noticed that completely blindsided me. Looking back on my notes now, I assume that whatever I went through in June 2006 must have slowly opened me to a new level of aliveness. (See my Journal Note #39.)

I could not have anticipated this feeling nor any other byproducts of practice. Over the ensuing years I have developed a little capability to play in an area of life where I previously felt completely inhibited.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: My Introduction to NLP: Journal Notes #40
Next article in this series: Changing My Diet: Journal Notes #42

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice. Posted by Mike at 10:00 AM

My Introduction to NLP: Journal Notes #40

2011-05-23T10:00:00.030-04:00

Notes from my July and August 2006 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

I think this was the summer I started learning about Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP, with Mr. 20/20 (formerly, John Wingert). Since then, several of us from the school, myself included, have attended 20/20's seminars and have found them very valuable.

In Wujifa zhan zhuang class, I've seen and experienced how the concepts from NLP can be applied to create openings for learning and developing internal strength.

* We had a discussion about "filters"; how we filter experiences. For example, some people filter by martial arts forms thinking the more forms they learn, the more they know. Some people filter by books, thinking the more books they read, the more they know. But when it comes to internal strength development, these filters won't give the desired results. So one point of growth is to give up or let go of the attachment to these beliefs.

I built my life around books and book learning and book knowledge. Not a bad thing but not at all helpful in this arena, and if anything, an impediment. It can be very difficult to set aside what you've relied on, what you're good at, what has served you well in the past. My strength kept me stuck. When all you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail.

* All emotions are streaming all the time. The frame we choose to use at any one time determines which part of that emotional bandwidth we will experience. Think of the how a prism "changes" white light into the color spectrum. By analogy, we can put little "emotional prisms" in at certain times so we only experience a little piece of the emotional energy at any given time. Play with moving the prism. Play with feeling different emotions.

In reference to "My Journey to Feeling" posts, I think one point here is to notice how you may be locked into an emotional pattern and that you do have a choice to respond differently. Playing with responding differently and noticing what shows up in the body.

* Regarding Here and There (from my June 2006 Journal Notes), some people can't come Here. They need their There to function.

* The basic NLP filters (as learned from 20/20) are:

Motivators

Towards / Away
Active / Passive
Internal / External

Comparison (works closely with Past, Present, Future)

Match
Mismatch
Polarity
Novelty

Sorting (Context Based)

Activity
Information/data
Person
Place
Thing

* Noticing - another way to think of becoming aware of something.

I went through a long phase of trying to find "hooks" to my earlier training; where new terms and concepts matched old terms and concepts. For example, when you say "X", is this the same meaning as when he said "Y"? I really wanted to build on my previous training and struggled with the notion that "matching" to my previous training was going to keep me stuck. I had to let go of that too.

* Be willing to engage this process: "Notice. Question. Pursue an answer. Notice." Beginners get stuck at the first step of noticing something and never get to the second step of questioning what they noticed.

First level. Notice that (this area) is tight/holding. Why?
Second level. Oh, because I'm holding over here. Why?
Third level. Oh, because.... Why?
etc...

This is the process. How many levels can you go through? The more levels you can go through, then the further and deeper you can trace the source of tension. Once you get past the first level, then you're on the right track.

One issue I struggle with is, "So, it seems like I can develop internal strength on my own." The principle is simple: stand and relax. And if I use this process then I should be able to learn from myself and develop internal strength on my own. What do I need a teacher for?

The answers I come away with are, Yes and No. Yes, I have to do it on my own. No, I can't do it on my own. No teacher can teach internal strength. I have to figure it out on my own. It's not like learning a form or technique. The value of a teacher is more as a "trail guide", to show me where I'm getting stuck and to show me what's ahead on the road.

* Read old journal entries and look for where you were stuck and where you made progress and what stories you told about each.

The stories I tell myself, the "reasons" why something is the way it is or was the way it was, are very revealing!

* Most people's lives can be reduced to "X" storyline or process. Their underlying process remains pretty much the same through their entire life and only the names and places change like a "fill in the blank". Take for example Woody Allen movies, or any movie genre. They all have the same feeling, just different locations, times, and actors.

What does my storyline, my process have to do with zhan zhuang and developing internal strength? Everything! It's how I approach training. It's the excuses I make for not practicing. It's what I have to work on letting go...

* Be willing to play with change the underlying process. For example, notice how you filter (see above) and then play with other filters.

This is another method to change the dance step, to elicit a different feeling. The method is not the truth. Once you get the feeling, get rid of the method.

Noticing and playing with your underlying process is a step to letting go of the established patterning in the emotional and physical body. Letting go and noticing. How many ways are there to let go and notice? How many layers are there?

I used to play a very soft and yielding "limp-noodle" style of push-hands but even then I was very rigid emotionally and structurally. Sure, it seemed like my body changed, and it did to a degree but I never really let go of the deeper layers of rigidity. I had learned how to be "flexible" and "yielding" around the underlying sticky points, the underlying rigidity.

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Let Go. Got it? Ahhhhh: Journal Notes #39
Next article in this series: Not the Usual Child's Play: Journal Notes #41

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

My Journey to Feeling: Part 7

2011-05-17T22:45:00.001-04:00

Feeling the ever increasing subtleties of kinesthetic feeling, the internal connectedness in Wujifa zhan zhuang also requires a journey into feeling the depth and breadth of emotional feeling.

If you haven't read My Journey to Feeling: Part 1 you may want to start with that before continuing here.

* One purpose of training is to help you notice your patterns and to shake you out of those patterns. Alter the "dance step" in manageable, safe measures.

* There is a difference between feeling like there's no choice vs. taking ownership of the choice. Instead of begrudgingly doing what you have to do, choose to agree to do what you don't want to do. The latter starts to build in you the power of "I am choosing X". It's kind of twisted, but it alters the pattern. You often have a choice even when your rules say you don't. Change the dance step.

* Judgment stifles curiosity. Practice curiosity. Hmm... I wonder how that person will react when I respond differently? Change the dance step.

* Anticipating someone's response is a primal defensive maneuver to guard against feeling rejection.

* Approaching an interaction based on anticipating (fearing) someone's response results in emotionally projecting your fear feeling which the other person senses as "not safe" and responds as you anticipated.

* This is the emotion loop; if you avoid a topic that is brought up, you send a "not OK, not safe" emotional signal which is picked up. If you are afraid to state your position, you send a "not OK, not safe" emotional signal. If you state your position, you send an "OK, safe" emotional signal. Then the door is open for...

* To change the dance step, stop anticipating, stop judging. Clearly knowing and stating your intention projects a feeling of authentic certainty. Anticipation is based in history. Stay present.

* What was the study? People communicate 10% with literal content and 90% through expressing feeling? We are by nature very attuned to sub-cognitive feeling communication. We also tend to get cut-off from that level of life. The work is to get re-connected.

* Accepting you doesn't mean denying myself. Big difference!

* Remembering the homework assignment after an emotional event and after the habitual reaction passes is a good step. Don't judge this as a failure. The hardest part of this kind of training is simply remembering to implement changes to life-long habitual responses. If you stay cognizant, you'll gradually close the gap between the emotional event and remembering the homework until you can run the assignment (the new "reaction") in place of the habitual reaction.

* A baby-step can be a big first step because it "opens the door". It creates the opportunity for a change. Baby steps are really, really important!

* In my case, when I first stepped into the stream of life, I got knocked off my feet and retreated to the safety of the stream bank and since then have generally watched life go by. I have strong belief/emotional "levees" built in part through upbringing and in part through self-protection. However, those same "levees" holding back the stream are also walls holding me in. There is only a no-feeling or a feeling of numbness when I try to access certain emotional areas; What do you feel? I don't know, nothing really.

My homework:

Continue noticing my emotional reaction in a given situation. Take a breath. Readjust to a relax posture. Notice reaction.
Approach "changing the dance" with a curiosity.
Know what you want and state what you want.

Let Go. Got it? Ahhhhh: Journal Notes #39

2011-05-16T10:00:00.046-04:00

Notes from my June 2006 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

These notes are from the only class I attended that June. My teacher tries to communicate directly with the feelings of the student when transmitting the principles of Wujifa, so the "Ahhh" you will see throughout this post is his exhalation to which he is anchoring the feeling of letting go to the exhalation of my breath. In Wujifa, the highest form of practice is making tea which means getting one's point across without having to do battle. What you will read below is another example of how a teacher gets his point across. If you're familiar with NLP or Milton Erikson, this will make sense to you.

* Breakthrough!

* My logical, analytical thinking is my strong point. My strong point is my weak point.

* What is the feeling in the body behind the logical thought?

* Thinking is there which is different from here. I can be in the same place (the dojo) but it is different if I'm there or here.

* Here and there are authentic but there pretending to be here is a fake.

* Got it? Ahhhhh.....

* Left-brain, right-brain stuff. Awaken, connect and experience the other half.

* Logic. Rules. Sadness.
* Feeling. Freedom. Joy.

* Breathing. Not breathing.
* Logic. Thinking. Holding breath.

* This moment. Now..... Now.... Now....
* Same or different?

* Got it? Ahhhhh.....

* Breathe in. Get oxygen. Got it? Breathe out. How hard do you have to work to not breathe? How hard do you have to work to breathe?

* Got it? Ahhhhh.....

* Once you got it, let it go. You can't get more until you let go of what you've got now.

* Eat. Why eat? To nourish the body. Once you have nourishment, then what? Excrete. Let go the "food". What if you never breathed out? Never defecated? What if you held onto that breath and that food? You'd die of course.

* What happens if you hold onto one idea? The idea that there is a special feeling to internal strength, some holy answer, and you never let go of that? This too is a kind of death. Never being open to anything else. Never being able to feel where you are at now.

* Got it? Ahhhhh.....

(Regarding feeling where you are now... In a Wujifa class just prior to this posting, I experienced that there is a "special" feeling and to me it felt more like a nothing-special feeling. When I accidentally hit that just-right connected alignment, the resulting power was born from a different kind of kinesthetic ease.

And to get that, I now know I couldn't just go directly from there to here. I had to develop a lot of feeling and relaxation and... to get to a place which allowed that to spontaneously and accidentally show up. I could not have and cannot purposely create that feeling. Got it?)

* Extend both arms at 45 degree away from the center of your body. Left hand is past. Right hand is future. Look straight ahead. What do you feel? Past and future have equal pull. Now move left hand back (out of sight). Now which hand has greater "pull". Future.

* Got it? Ahhhhh.....

* Beginner's mind. Curious.

* Got it? Ahhhhh.....

* What happens is that over time, people show up to class physically but lose the beginner's curiosity. How do you get beginner's curiosity? How do you keep it? How do you live it?

* Got it? Ahhhhh.....

* Sometimes you need to hold, for example, if you're under water. Holding your breath will keep you alive but once your head is above water, you don't have to keep holding. If you're drowning and someone throws you a rope, you will hold on for dear life but once you're back on dry land you can let go of the rope.

* Let go!

* Got it? Ahhhhh.....

(The more I develop and the more I watch others develop, the more I witness myself and others holding the breath, holding the rope. I now know that I was not doing internal gong fu until I experienced the physical and emotional difficulty of two simple words, "Let go."

Ha! There's a sign-post for you! If your letting go is relaxing, then you're doing it wrong. If your letting go is difficult, then you're on the right track.)

* Some people are information gatherers. Rather than doing the exercise, they collect and read about the exercise. Reading about is not the same as doing. Talking or writing about what you heard or read and analyzed is not the same as doing and writing from your internal experience.

(I've read a lot about internal martial arts. The trouble with words is that I, the reader, tend to interpret others' words through my own frame of reference, wherever that frame happens to be. And my frame is probably not the author's frame.

The more I practice, the more I see how our verbal language, in trying to describe this pre-verbal process, lends itself to ambiguity.

Ultimately, the proof of anyone's internal skills is revealed in touching hands. Of course, you have to have developed some internal skills first to discern who has skills or not and to what level. A classic Catch-22...)

* I got exhausted from this exercise but gained a great insight! Finally, I asked my instructor how he deals with my thinking stuff week after week. He affirmed that the Question and Answer part of class is the most tiring because he works to feel what the "thinkers" are trying to ask through the filter of their thinking as well as his trying to formulate answers that respond to the "feeler" behind the thinker filter.

(This exercise in this class really opened me up to seeing and differentiating operating from "rule think" vs. operating from "feeling think" in both myself and others. This was a big step for me.

Transcribing these notes makes me think of poetry and the contradictory old man...)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Hiding Secrets in Plain Sight: Journal Notes #38
Next article in this series: My Introduction to NLP: Journal Notes #40

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.

Hiding Secrets in Plain Sight: Journal Notes #38

2011-05-09T10:00:00.054-04:00

vNotes from my May 2006 Zhan Zhuang Training Journal. I train with The School of Cultivation and Practice which practices Wujifa zhan zhuang. (My current reflections are added in italics.)

* Question: What's a beginner's way to practice shi-li?
Answer: Play with a light springy material and light "thera-band" to get the feeling of lightly compressing/closing and stretching/opening, respectively. However, don't practice with these because doing so would take you down the wrong path of developing muscle. Rather, use these briefly to experience the feeling and then practice re-creating that feeling internally. Keep it light.

* The stretch and compress of shi-li is not done in the isometric sense but in a relaxed way with intention. Think of and feel the feeling of opening and closing with connection.

* Question: I'm concerned that I'm not progressing fast enough. Can shi-li help me build internal strength faster than just stance?
Answer (from Dan): I made the most progress when I was standing two hours a day. No shi-li. No side-to-side. Just stance.

(Here's a quick story about Dan who posts on Dan's Wujifa. Dan started with the school and practicing stance during my three years away. When I returned, I was impressed and inspired by his accomplishment which "sealed the deal" for me that it is stance, not forms, that develop internal strength. (I recall hearing he also spent a lot of time at class. The two hours a day was his personal stance practice time.) Seeing his accomplishment, I committed myself to practicing stance.

At this time in 2006, I too had now been practicing three years and was not "getting it". Why not? As I later discovered, I was looking for the answer where I wanted to find the answer and not where it was plainly and simply "hiding".)

* Question: Can Rolfing massage dis-armor a person?
Answer: Rolfing is only a form of massage therapy. There is no psychoanalytical counseling component. To the degree that armoring is a block to free flowing energy and Rolfing unsticks fascial adhesions, it might help but the emotional pattern of armoring is not affected.

(And I have heard arguments on both sides of the question: Can fascial adhesions form in the same pattern again if you don't address the underlying emotional armoring pattern? Some say, "Yes", and some say, "No".)

* Mike, your questions indicate that you are still looking for an answer in rules. The answer lies in feeling.

* How do you feel on one nice day? How do you feel after fourteen nice days in a row? Feeling changes. It's dynamic, pliable. As you practice, your body will change. Your ability to feel will change. Your feeling will change. Always changing. No rules.

("The method is not the truth, once you get the feeling, get rid of the method." For years I struggled with thinking of "the feeling" as a single, definitive, quantifiable feeling that I had to achieve and that this feeling was the holy grail of internal strength.

I was disappointed and frustrated hearing that "the feeling" changes! This concept did not fit in my neat and tidy box of data categories... which is a large part of why it took me more than three years to begin "getting it".)

* The universe moves in patterns and cycles. So too do people. Where these patterns are repeated is called habit. To break these habits is called growth. Here's an example. One cycle or pattern takes place is in eye movement. One method to break this pattern is to look up and to the right for two minutes. Then look up and to the left for two minutes. Do this every hour or so. Pay attention and notice the resultant affect.

* Sometimes practice playfully. Kids play and learn through playing. Be child-like and play sometimes.

(Playfulness is a huge part of Wujifa training. When I'd get too serious in class, then the jester would show up inspiring silliness or dance thus breaking-up the "trying" which created a letting go of trying which allowed a space for a more natural "me" to show up and in that space, growth happened. I've learned that sometimes trying or concentrating too hard is counterproductive.)

* Practicing the 10,000 things is shallow unless you find the common element, the underlying principle that unites them all. Most people can't do this, therefore, it's better to do only one thing very deeply then through depth, you will see how the 10,000 things are the same.

* Here's an example of a principle and 10,000 techniques. You've heard that eight out of ten fights end in grappling, clinching and going to the ground. To be on top you need to win the balance. Stand up now. Draw a line between your feet. The line perpendicular to the line connecting your feet is your weak gate. Every off-balancing throwing technique is based on exploiting this principle.

* Chinese will show a technique but not explain the purpose of the technique's application. If you understand the purpose, then you will know how and when to apply the technique. Just knowing techniques is not worth much.

* The simple Chen Xiaowang "Hip Circle Warm-up" exercise is the secret to advanced level practice. However, he doesn't tell you this. And most people copying this movement don't do it right (sinking, opening and closing the kua). The best place to hide something is where everyone can see it because most do not understand what they're looking at.

(In Wujifa we do what is called the "advanced side-to-side" which is based on Chen Xiaowang's "Hip Circle Warm-ups". In this exercise, we get into the details that are not explicitly covered in public classes.)

Further reading:
Introductory article explaining this "Journal Notes" series: Zhan Zhuang Training Journal
Previous article in this series: Ten Year Practice: Journal Notes #37
Next article in this series: Let Go. Got it? Ahhhhh: Journal Notes #39

Make sure to visit Wujifa.com and the Wujifa blog.
And stop by The School of Cultivation and Practice.